


To Make Guilty Of Our Disasters

by Devils_Official



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Aftercare, Alien Cultural Differences, Angst, Bondage, Canon Compliant, Domestic Bliss, Double Agents, Espionage, Explicit Sexual Content, Graphic Descriptions Of Love, Hurt/Comfort, Long Distance Relationships, Multi, Near Death Experiences, Praise Kink, Secret Marriage, Secret Relationship, Size Difference, Soft yet Kinky Space Husbands, Temporary Character Death, The Author’s Interpretation Of Various Events, Traumatic Head Injuries, canonical character deaths, marriage proposals, some bad puns, tags will be added as needed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-23
Updated: 2019-01-06
Packaged: 2019-08-06 05:23:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 47
Words: 51,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16382213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Devils_Official/pseuds/Devils_Official
Summary: Lotor had been secretly married to Sendak for thousands of years before Voltron changed the status quo. This is how it started, and how it ended.





	1. The Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> I’m back on my bullshit.   
> The title comes from King Lear.  
> Say Hi @devilsofficialfanfic on tumblr

It began unexpectedly. 

The Imperial Officer being sent to check up on him is nothing new. Ever since the second time Lotor had left Central Command, his father routinely sent a trusted officer to keep an eye on him, snoop around, make sure he wasn’t planning anything.

It happened every year, at most, and they never found anything.

He was too smart for that. 

This time, it was a young Lieutenant who stepped off the transport craft, and it took him a minute to place him.

“Lieutenant Sendak?” He asked, trying to hide his surprise. Sendak was no longer the gangly youth he remembered, that was for sure.

“Your Highness,” Sendak said, inclining his head politely. That alone was more courtesy that any of the others had paid him. “I was sent to-“

“I know why you’re here,” Lotor interrupted. “The troops under my command are ready for inspection whenever you are, and quarters have been prepared, should you wish to refresh yourself first.”

“That will be unnecessary,” Sendak said. “I took the liberty of bringing a gift for you, Your Highness, in gratitude for your hospitality.”

“I hope you won’t think me impolite for having it inspected before I open it. I have learned to take precautions against those who are less than sympathetic to me.”

“Of course, Your Highness.”

The inspection went smoothly, as Lotor knew it would. They always went smoothly. 

The gift ended up being several bottles of high-end alcohol, much nicer than whatever was available this far out.

Lotor rarely drank. He didn’t like that it impaired his judgement. It was dangerous.

But it would be rude to refuse. 

He invited Sendak to dine privately with him. Perhaps if he got enough alcohol into him, Sendak would reveal more than he intended. Maybe he would forget the things Lotor told him, so that he couldn’t report them to his father. 

Not that the latter mattered; Lotor knew his every word would be reported, so he rarely said anything of substance. 

Lotor took a sip of the liquor. It burned pleasantly on the way down, and he knew immediately he’d have to watch his intake. 

“I hope your accommodations are to your liking during your stay here,” Lotor said. 

“Yes, thank you, Your Highness.”

“I know you are here to spy on me,” Lotor said. “Let me save you the trouble. All the files on this base are yours to peruse, and my commanding officers have been told to allow you access to whatever you ask for. There will be no need to sneak around behind my back.”

Sendak seemed embarrassed by this. “Your Highness… I had no intention of spying on you or anyone else. Such a thing would be...dishonorable.”

Sendak seemed intent on surprising him. “And it would also be dishonorable to fail to fulfill whatever commands your Emperor gave you. I am not offended by this.” Lotor leaned back in his chair, picking at his dinner. “I’ve been doing this for a long time, Lieutenant, and while I appreciate your attempt at sincerity, it is wholly unnecessary.”

“May I speak frankly, Your Highness?”

“Please do,” Lotor said, taking another sip of the liquor. He really shouldn’t, but…

“I asked for this assignment. None of the other officers who have completed the inspections in the past were interested, and I had recently been promoted, and I...wondered.”

“About?”

Sendak’s ears twitched, and Lotor wondered just how drunk he was. More than Lotor, certainly, but truly drunk? Or just tipsy? “You, Your Highness. I wondered how well you were getting on out here. This is… a backwater. An unfit station for a prince.”

“But, as you see, I am doing quite well for myself,” Lotor said with false bravado, spreading his arms expansively. 

“You’ve built quite the empire for yourself,” Sendak agreed. “I wondered, also, if your methods differed from the Empire’s, and how one might apply them more broadly.”

“Already looking to your next promotion? I’m afraid this strategy would prove unwise. After all, this is where it got me.” 

“And yet your record is impeccable. Better than many commanders within the emperor’s inner circle. I had hoped that I might learn something from you.”

Lotor almost choked on his next sip. “Learn from me? What could  _ I _ possibly teach  _ you _ ?”

They had some history; otherwise, Lotor wouldn’t have put himself in a position where he would be alone with him. Sendak had been perfectly polite, if distant, but that was better than most of the others. 

Sendak had taught him the basics of combat, and Sendak had, in turn, learned from Zarkon himself, an honor that should have gone to Lotor. 

“As you said, Your Highness, you’ve done well for yourself.” 

Lotor smiled. Not a real one, but maybe the realest in a very long time. “How long do you intend to stay?”

“As long as you allow me, Your Highness.”


	2. Complete

It went on like that, until it didn’t. 

Sendak visited the base once a year or so, and he stayed about a month each time. He always brought a gift of some kind, usually impersonal -a few bottles of liquor, delicacies from the center of the Empire -and they never talked about it. 

A century or so after the first visit, Sendak was promoted to First Lieutenant, and then a century after that, to Commander, with his own fleet. It was small, yes, but he had potential. 

They didn’t talk about a lot of things, actually. They didn’t talk about Zarkon. They didn’t talk about Sendak’s reports. 

They talked strategy, hypotheticals, and when Lotor bothered to look at the updates from the Empire, he saw echoes of those conversations in Sendak’s victories. A gift of his own to Sendak. 

It was almost like having a friend, if Lotor could afford to have friends. 

It was...more, sometimes. On the training deck, when he could convince Sendak to spar with him, it was...intense. Intimate, almost. 

But it was just sparring. It didn’t mean anything, and it never would. 

Until it did. 

There was less than a week left of Sendak’s visit when it happened, and Lotor wondered if, maybe, it all could have been avoided, if he had just held off for a week. 

They were sparring, and Sendak managed to pin Lotor to the floor. None of Lotor’s officers would do such a thing, and anyway, he didn’t trust most of them to spar with him safely, so for the most part, he used the training simulations.

Actually sparring with a warm body was...different. 

Being touched was...unexpected. 

He froze. Maybe he could have fought his way out, but his mind was suddenly blank. 

Sendak was hard.

So was he.

It would be so easy to reach up and kiss him. He could order Sendak to- no. That wasn’t right. But maybe Sendak wanted to, anyway. Maybe if he  _ asked _ -

Sendak moved away as if burned. He looked as flustered as Lotor felt. 

Which was silly. They were both adults, well over six hundred by this point. Lotor wasn’t a virgin, and he doubted Sendak was. It didn’t have to mean anything. 

It could be as easy as everything else had been. 

“My apologies, Your Highness. I am-“

“Don’t,” Lotor said. “Don’t apologize.”

“This is...inappropriate. I have dishonored you. I will submit myself to your judgment-“

“That is unnecessary.” Why was Sendak protesting so much? Did he feel guilty? Was he-  _ Oh _ . “Sendak, I…”

Even alone, they rarely addressed each other familiarly. Maybe the formality was a shield, for what they feared and yet wanted, so desperately. 

“Your Highness...”

“Lotor,” Lotor corrected softly. “You have more than earned that right.”

“Lotor,” Sendak repeated, and it was exactly how Lotor had imagined he would say it, during those long nights when Sendak was lightyears away, fighting and risking death in some far off galaxy. 

He offered a hand to help Lotor up, and Lotor took it. Sendak did not release his hand when he was on his feet again, instead bending down and turning Lotor’s hand in his, so that he could kiss the soft underside of Lotor’s wrist. 

It was just a soft, barely-there press of his lips against skin, but it was more than Lotor had ever imagined he might reasonably have. 

“Lotor,” Sendak said again, almost as if he couldn’t get enough of saying it. 

Lotor couldn’t get enough of hearing it. 

This, right here, right now, felt right, in some undefinable way. The unknown scared him, but maybe taking the leap into this wouldn’t be so bad. Maybe…

He leaned up on his toes and, without stopping to second guess himself, kissed Sendak. 

It was chaste, just a press of lips-on-lips, but it announced his intentions better than words ever could. 

Anyway, it was his turn to surprise Sendak. 

And Sendak was surprised. Frozen, even, his ears stiff, his eyes wide, his mouth just slightly agape. 

“Don’t tell me no one’s ever kissed you before,” Lotor teased, trying to regain some sense of control over this. 

“No, I just… I never thought-  _ You… _ ” That was all the warning Lotor got before Sendak pulled him in for another kiss, this time one that left them both breathless. “I never thought you would want this,” he said finally. 

“It surprised me, too,” Lotor said, unable to resist just a little more teasing. “But it feels...right.”

“It does,” Sendak agreed. “Can I- I want to- If you would permit me… Would you allow me the honor of taking you to bed?”

There was nothing Lotor wanted more in that moment. “I would.” 

* * *

Lotor allowed Sendak to undress him, not caring where he discarded the pieces of his armor. It didn’t matter; he’d find them eventually. 

He didn’t usually undress all the way for sex. It left him too vulnerable, and he didn’t like that. But… Here, with Sendak, it was alright. 

He flushed a little under Sendak’s gaze, intense and studious, like Lotor’s body was a battlefield and he was considering the best way to conquer it. 

Lotor wanted that, more than he ever thought he would. 

Sendak bent to kiss him again, more passionately, full of teeth. Hard and perfect. Lotor wrapped his arms around Sendak’s neck, pulling him closer, because he wanted more, like he could never get enough. 

Sendak got his hands under Lotor’s thighs, lifting him up easily, and that was…

“You have to take your armor off, too,” Lotor murmured breathlessly, when Sendak finally let up. 

“I will,” Sendak said. He deposited Lotor on the bed, then stepped back out of Lotor’s reach, as if he knew that Lotor wouldn’t be able to keep his hands to himself.

He was right, of course. Lotor had to dig his claws into the sheets to keep from doing something -anything -in order to get some sort of relief.

Sendak didn’t take his time, just strippped himself with efficiency and speed, which Lotor really did appreciate.

He was incredibly attractive, in a way that appealed to all of Lotor’s Galra instincts. Big and strong. Fit. He had a few scars, but nothing too serious, and he’d obviously survived those injuries. 

His cock… It made Lotor’s mouth water. It was huge, long and thick, flushed dark and slightly damp already. 

It was certainly larger than any of the other cocks Lotor had ever taken, even the Galra ones. Quite honestly, he wasn’t entirely certain he could take it all, but he was going to have damn fun trying. 

He arranged himself on the bed, draped across the pillows, legs splayed and slightly bent, baring everything for Sendak.

Sendak took another moment to study him -or maybe to just admire the view -before crawling between Lotor’s knees. 

“You are the prettiest thing I’ve ever had the pleasure to bed,” Sendak murmured. If he’d been amused, Lotor would have laughed and shot a joke back, but he’d been sincere, and that sincerity made him flush and turn away.

“Don’t lie to me,” he said quietly. He didn’t know how to handle this. Wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to handle it. Surely it was too late for him to learn how to be praised.

“Has no one ever told you how lovely you are?” Sendak asked, like he was surprised and dismayed by that turn of events.

“No.” 

“What a shame.” He bent down and pressed a kiss to just above his pubic bone, then trailed kisses higher, his hands sliding up his sides, firm and warm and just right. Not erotic, per se, but sensual, certainly. Pleasurable. “Then again, perhaps no one felt they had to point out the obvious.”

“Your flattery will get you nowhere,” Lotor said, a little breathlessly, because Sendak was mouthing at his collar bones, dragging his fangs over them, then soothing the sting with his tongue. 

“No? Then why are you so flustered?” 

“I- I am not- How dare you-?”

“It’s cute, how affected you are by simple praise. And maybe a little sad, too. I’m guessing no one’s ever given this to you before, but I can, and I will, without judgement.”

“You don’t need to treat me like this,” Lotor said, still refusing to look at him. 

“I want to,” Sendak said, softly and firmly and tenderly, as if he could ever really want someone like Lotor. “Let me.”

Lotor felt a little overwhelmed. He’d thought this would just be an arrangement of some kind, a way to have a little bit of interpersonal contact every now and then, without the complications that would arise from a real relationship. 

It wasn’t that anymore. 

And yet he wanted. He nodded. “Alright,” he whispered, finally turning to look up at Sendak. 

Sendak bent down for another kiss, and Lotor tangled his fingers in Sendak’s fur, trying to urge him on, trying to get away from this devastating softness. 

Finally, Sendak pulled away, a different look in his eyes now. “Would you like to ride me, Your Highness?”

“Yes,” Lotor replied immediately. “I would like that very much.” 

“I think you would look exquisite like that.”

Lotor didn’t justify that with a response, instead pushing on Sendak’s chest until he flipped them over. 

Sendak’s hands settled on his waist, and Lotor swallowed hard. He knew, of course, that Sendak was bigger than he was, but it was especially evident now, considering that his hands went almost all the way around Lotor’s waist. 

Sendak also seemed affected by that, and it was almost cute, so Lotor rose up on his knees a little and kissed him again. 

“Such a small, fierce creature,” Sendak murmured, teasing once more. Safer territory. “Can you even handle my cock?”

“Yes,” Lotor insisted, determinedly. 

“Maybe we should loosen you up a bit first. Besides, you’d look stunning riding my fingers, don’t you think?”

_ Oh _ . Sendak’s ideas were such good ones. Lotor leaned over to grab the lube from the bedside table. “Let’s find out, shall we?”

Sendak took it and slicked two of his fingers up -together, they were about the width of the average Galra cock -before reached down between Lotor’s thighs to his entrance. 

The first press was gentle yet firm, but it was still terribly good, and it had been a while for Lotor; he widened his knees a little, wanting more.

Sendak gave it to him, pressing those fingers in, angling them so that they pressed against the sensitive internal parts of Lotor’s reproductive organs. 

Lotor leaned his forehead against Sendak’s shoulder, letting the pleasure wash over him, the sweet burn of the stretch, the electric feel of Sendak’s firm touches.

All too soon, Sendak pulled his fingers free, and Lotor must have made some sort of embarrassing sound, because he laughed, just a little. Not cruelly, though. 

And that was… Lotor was always so careful -always had to be careful -but he didn’t feel that need now. There was no real reason why he should trust Sendak, and yet he did, more than anyone else (not that that was a difficult thing). 

It was already so different from every other sexual encounter Lotor had ever had, but he couldn’t get enough. 

He took a deep breath to steady himself, then rose up on his knees, catching Sendak’s eye as he did. “Watch,” he murmured, as if Sendak could possibly take his eyes off him now. 

He positioned the tip of Sendak’s cock at his rim, and then began sinking down on it. It really was big, but the first part was always the easiest, a delicious taper that slowly stretched him even further. 

His skin burned, and he was breathless already, even though he’d had to stop before the first ridge.

Sendak rubbed little circles into his hip with his thumb, a contrasting gentleness that didn’t help with anything at all. 

Lotor wasn’t entirely sure he could do this. He’d be more receptive during his peak, but that was months away, at the very least, and Sendak would be long gone by then. He wanted,  _ now _ , even if it seemed impossible. 

Sendak pulled him in for another kiss. It only stoked the fire, but it distracted -a little -from the too-big stretch, the too-present ache, and he relaxed, just enough to accept the first ridge. 

He almost came right then and there. It wasn’t painful, but it was, perhaps, too much. 

Sendak was also affected, based on the abortive little thrusts he made, trying desperately to hold still and let Lotor go at his own pace, something Lotor appreciated quite a bit; most of his previous partners hadn’t been as considerate.

Then again, none of them were this huge. 

Lotor took another deep breath, and sank down the rest of the way. 

They both groaned in unison. 

Lotor felt so... _ full _ . Complete. 

“Are you alright?” Sendak asked, brushing a few stray tears away; Lotor hadn’t even realized he was crying.

Lotor nodded. He couldn’t find the words right now. There was nothing except this perfect, all-consuming bliss; nothing else mattered. He just needed a moment. 

Another deep breath, and he was ready, lifting himself up just slightly and letting gravity pull him back down. It was so good already, and then Sendak started talking.

“Fuck, you’re beautiful,” he murmured. “You feel so good, so tight and warm. You’re taking this so well...absolutely perfect…”

Lotor whined; he wanted more, and he wanted Sendak to stop talking, and he couldn’t decide which to ask for. 

“Shh… you’re doing so well. Let me take care of you.”

What a startling concept, that someone wanted to take care of him. Lotor nodded. Maybe he didn’t know why Sendak was offering this, but it was good, and Sendak seemed to know what he wanted without asking, without him having to tell him, so…

Sendak’s hands settled on his hips, guiding his motions, changing the angle.

“ _ Oh _ ,” Lotor gasped, clenching his eyes shut. It was too much, too good, but he didn’t want this to end. Wanted it to go on forever.

“Look,” Sendak murmured, and there was something different about his tone now, but Lotor couldn’t place it. 

It took a moment for the command to filter through, and Lotor opened his eyes blearily, dazed. “Mm?”

”Look,” Sendak repeated, caressing Lotor’s stomach.

It didn’t feel quite right. Lotor looked down, his vision blurry but clear enough. 

He blinked, wondering if he was imagining this. But no… surely this was what Sendak meant.

“You’re just too small, aren’t you,” Sendak murmured. He pulled Lotor all the way down on his cock, and they both watched Lotor’s stomach distend, just slightly, as he was impaled. “Gorgeous…”

Sendak pressed against Lotor’s stomach, and it sent electric sparks down his spine. Only muscle and skin stood between Sendak’s hand and his cock, and it really shouldn’t have been so erotic, but it was. It was…

“Let me watch you come,” Sendak whispered, his eyes still glued to Lotor’s abdomen. “Come for me, my lovely little prince…”

Lotor couldn’t hold back anymore; he came, writhing, kicking, struggling, overwhelmed and oversensitive, out of his mind with  _ everything _ ...

A few more thrusts, and Sendak was coming, too, filling him up even more, hot and too much. It was all too much and yet so good, so much better than it ever had been before.

Lotor clutched Sendak’s shoulders, trying to find something to hold onto as he rode out the waves of this reality-shattering pleasure, but he couldn’t handle it, and everything went dark.


	3. A Difficult Choice

Sendak didn’t go to sleep after having sex with Lotor.

This was a prime opportunity to get access to his personal files and belongings. Everything he kept secret, everything he was hiding.

It had to be there, if it was anywhere. The High Priestess thought Lotor was up to something.

He might be. Sendak didn’t know, and he didn’t care. 

He didn’t want to spy on Lotor, even if it was part of his duty to his emperor. He didn't want to betray Lotor’s trust. It had been so hard to earn, and once it was lost, he’d never get it back. 

It shouldn’t matter. He had a duty to his emperor, and that was supposed to come before everything else. 

And yet...these inspection tours out to the very fringes of the empire were the only things Sendak ever looked forward to anymore. He’d been more pleased by his visits with Lotor than any of his promotions or commendations. 

Lotor purred softly in his sleep, his ears flicking randomly. He looked content and relaxed as he never was when he was awake.

He was beautiful. Soft and pliant and sated. Still sweaty. Sendak’s come dripped down the inside of his thighs, and Sendak wanted nothing more than to lick him clean. 

This had been inevitable, since the first time Sendak had come for an inspection. Like fate, like destiny, like the inexorable pull of a black hole. 

He had a choice. He could do his duty to the Empire and betray Lotor. Even if Lotor never found out about his espionage, Sendak would know, and the guilt would eat at him. He’d never be able to have this again, not without feeling sick. 

Or...he could choose to look the other way. He knew that Lotor was probably up to something, like the High Priestess said. But he didn’t have to look for evidence. He didn’t have to report on his suspicions. And he could continue to have this. 

Lotor rolled over, nestling against Sendak’s side. He had no fur, so surely he had to be chilly.

“Why does this have to so difficult?” Sendak whispered. “Why must I choose?”

* * *

 

Lotor woke up about an hour later. ”You’re still here,” he murmured sleepily, as if he was surprised. He nestled closer, tucking his head under Sendak’s chin.

Sendak had been dozing on and off, too unsettled by his thoughts to actually sleep. “We should talk,” he said. He didn’t want to, but he needed to settle this. 

“Don’t ruin this,” Lotor said, straddling Sendak’s waist. “You’re leaving in five days; can’t we just enjoy this while it lasts?”

Sendak had almost forgotten that. “I don’t-“

Lotor pressed his finger against Sendak’s lips. “Don’t,” he said more firmly. “I want to forget about all of that. Make me forget, Sendak, just for now.”

“And then we’ll talk?”

Lotor grimaced and glanced away. “Yes. Then we’ll talk.” 

“Alright,” Sendak conceded, pulling Lotor in for a kiss. “Would it be alright if I ate you out?”

“Such a polite request for such a filthy thing,” Lotor said. “But if that’s what you want…”

“Only if you want.” 

“You might as well.”

Not a straight answer, but he had a feeling he wasn’t going to get one. Not right now. Still, if Lotor didn’t want this, Sendak didn’t think he’d have a problem telling him no. 

Sendak flipped them over, so that Lotor was on his back, staring up at him, eyes huge and hungry. 

“Are you always this insatiable?” Sendak asked, nosing at Lotor’s already half-hard cock. He didn’t smell like he was in his peak, but then again, he  _ was _ a half-breed. 

Lotor laughed. “Not usually. But -and I mean this sincerely, not as an ego boost -that was the best sex I’ve ever had. Is it a crime to indulge myself every now and then?”

“I’m not complaining,” Sendak said, hooking Lotor’s knees over his shoulders. 

Lotor’s inner thighs were still sticky with Sendak’s come, and Sendak lapped at them, some primal instinct driving him on. 

Lotor hummed with pleasure, practically melted into the mattress. 

Gods, Sendak didn’t think he’d ever get enough of Lotor. He was so unabashed, so confident, so...attractive. And yet he had his vulnerabilities. He hid them, sure, but they were there, and he allowed Sendak to catch glimpses of them, which was surely more than anyone else got. 

Sendak used his thumbs to hold Lotor’s ass open. Come oozed out, and Sendak licked it up.

Lotor made a startled, pleased sound, and his legs tightened around Sendak’s shoulders, urging him closer. 

Sendak licked and sucked, even going as far as to scrape his fangs across his rim. That had Lotor shuddering and panting, clutching the sheets so hard they tore, pushing his hips back, trying to get more.

He had no right to react this beautifully. No right to be this attractive. 

Sendak pulled back finally, and Lotor made a strangled, protesting sound before limply falling back to the bed.

He raked a hand through his hair, breathing heavily, apparently trying to get himself under control. “Don’t just stop,” he muttered. “Gods…”

Sendak smirked. “Can I fuck you?”

“Yes,” Lotor hissed, “and you better get started before I do it myself.” 

So demanding. Honestly, it was kind of cute. 

Sendak pushed Lotor’s knees up to his chest, folding him in half. Flexible, too? Lotor really was perfect.

Sendak pushed in, much more easily than earlier, but no less good, especially with Lotor writhing and moaning under him.

“Gods… you  _ are _ beautiful,” Sendak murmured, and he was: sweat glistened on his skin, and his hair wreathed his head like a glowing corona. “So good for me, so lovely, so absolutely perfect…”

Lotor came with a sob, his whole body shaking and quivering and tensing, somehow even more beautiful than before. 

Sendak’s own orgasm was something of a surprise; he’d been so focused on Lotor and his pleasure that he hadn’t paid much attention to his own. 

He collapsed next to Lotor, breathing heavily. He reached out to pull Lotor closer, but Lotor resisted him.

He’d rolled over, his back to Sendak. “You wanted to talk,” he said flatly. “So talk.”

“Lotor…” 

“Talk, if you want to talk,” Lotor demanded. “Or go. Choose one.”

Sendak took a deep breath. “Lotor, this...thing between us… It could be dangerous.”

“Tell me something I don’t know.”

“I’m choosing you.”

Lotor was silent for a moment, then rolled over, facing Sendak again. “What do you mean?” He asked suspiciously.

“I’m choosing you, over all my other duties and obligations. Over my oaths to the emperor.”

Lotor glanced away. “Do you think I will believe you so easily?”

“You think I’m trying to get on your good side. Use your own weaknesses against you. Bed you and then use the opportunity to gain access to whatever secrets you have.”

“Yes,” Lotor whispered hoarsely. “You wouldn’t be the first.”

“I won’t. I told you, that very first time, that I wasn’t here to spy on you. What do you think has changed?”

Lotor shrugged. “Could be anything, I suppose. Anything could be happening at Central Command, and I would never know.”

“But I would know.” 

Lotor stilled completely, and Sendak could almost see the gears turning. “You would do that? For me?”

“Yes,” Sendak said. 

Lotor licked his lips nervously. “Let me… Let me think on it. Just… I don’t know if I can- I don’t know. Give me time.”

“Alright,” Sendak said. “I’ll go.”

Lotor’s ear twitched, the only sign that he was embarrassed. “No. Stay. If you want. Our...friendship doesn’t have to end.”

“Is that what you call this?”

Lotor finally looked at him again, his expression open and raw. “I don’t know what else to call it.”

* * *

It was the next evening, after dinner and a glass of some exotic liquor, that Lotor gave his answer: “Alright.”


	4. One Day

Things changed, and didn’t change, after that. 

Sendak didn’t visit any more frequently -to do so would be suspicious -and when he did, he remained professional whenever they weren’t alone. Or not even professional. Sometimes bordering on downright antagonistic. 

It had to be done, in order to keep anyone from being suspicious. Lotor didn’t take it personally. He’d learned, very young, not to take things personally. It never paid off. 

They communicated, rarely, through highly-encrypted channels. Just short bursts of data, vital information that Sendak thought couldn’t wait for him to deliver in person. 

Sendak’s gifts changed, too.

When Lotor was planetside -which, these days, was also rare -he took Kova with him, and Kova liked to hunt whatever small creatures he could find, bringing them, still alive, to Lotor, often dropping them at his feet.

Sendak, in this regard, reminded him of Kova. Not that he brought living things to drop at Lotor’s feet, of course. But these gifts were meant to impress Lotor. To show him that Sendak would be able to provide for him. 

They both knew what he was doing, even if they never talked about it. 

He brought pretty things -golden cuffs for Lotor’s ears, softly woven rugs, rare books -presenting them with the same casual-yet-smug air he’d presented the impersonal bottles of fine liquor with. 

He wasn’t fooling Lotor, but Lotor did wonder how long Sendak would remain patient before he’d had enough and openly mentioned the subject.

It was something of an experiment. 

Sendak’s visits the only things he really looked forward to. He liked and trusted Sendak more than he probably should, but…

Sendak was sincere. Honest. Trustworthy. Loyal, to him and no one else. 

He pretended loyalty to the emperor, as they all must, but Lotor was the one he worshiped. 

They had lots of really fantastic sex during the month or so that Sendak visited, although the time between each visit was becoming longer and longer.

There was nothing Lotor could do about that, though, not if he didn’t want to arouse suspicion, so he took what he got and dreamed about the future. 

* * *

“I miss you when you’re gone,” Lotor said quietly. This was the first night of Sendak’s visit, and they had barely been able to keep their hands off each other since the shuttle docked. 

But now they were alone, in Lotor’s quarters, coming down from their first round of sex. 

“I miss you too,” Sendak said. “Wish it didn’t have to be like this.”

“One day, it will be different,” Lotor said, seriously. He meant it; one day they were be together, openly. But there were things that had to be done first. 

Sendak just held him for several minutes, nuzzling and kissing. Re-memorizing. 

“I could pass through your sector, on the way to the front,” Sendak said, “when I return from Central Command. It’s on the way, sort of. Adds two days to the trip, but saves quintessence. I could resupply here, and we could…”

Lotor nodded absently. “That might work. I’d have to see your requisition requests; I’m not sure we could resupply the whole fleet.”

“Is something on your mind?”

“No,” Lotor said, although that wasn’t really true. “I just want to enjoy having you here.”

Sendak kissed him, and it was like they had never been apart. “Do you want to do anything else tonight?”

“I just want to be held,” Lotor said. 

“Alright,” Sendak said. 

Sendak never pushed. Others had been pushy, demanding. They liked humiliating Lotor, using him, demeaning and abusing him. Sendak never did. 

He was hard again -Lotor could feel that -but he wasn’t acting on it, wasn’t demanding that Lotor do something about it. Was content with just this. 

Lotor pressed his nose against the column of Sendak’s throat, inhaling his scent -musky and masculine, rich with the smell of victory -and listening to him purr. 

Lotor felt safe here, in Sendak’s arms. 

He kissed Sendak’s neck and sat back a little. “Sendak?”

“Mm?”

It was so hard to force the words out, but he felt as though he had to say them. Had to make sure that Sendak knew. “Sendak, I- I feel safe with you. You make me feel good about myself, like I’m worth something, like I’ll accomplish something. Like I’m doing something worth doing, and not just…languishing out here in exile. You make me feel attractive and beautiful and worthy of respect. You make me feel like I’m-“ He stopped himself; he didn’t want to assume anything about Sendak’s feelings. “Sendak, I love you.”

Sendak was speechless for such a long time that Lotor wondered if he had made a mistake. Maybe he shouldn’t have just come out like that, maybe he should have-

“I love you, too, Lotor,” Sendak said, cupping his jaw in both hands and tilting his face up for a kiss. “I love you. Never doubt that.”

“I don’t,” Lotor said. 

“I didn’t think you’d be the first to say it, is all,” Sendak said finally.

“No? Why not?”

“You’re cautious. You wait to see what others do before making the first move, let them slip up.”

“I wanted you to know,” Lotor said. “I love you, more than words can ever express. I wish…” He shook his head. “One day, it will be different.”

“I know,” Sendak said, and then he kissed Lotor again. “And I will be there with you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y’all better buckle up. I’m giving you the Confession of Love this early and easily? Means a storm’s comin’ honey.
> 
> For the record, they genuinely do love each other. Lotor’s not just latching onto Sendak because Sendak is the first person who actually treated him well (although that’s part of it).


	5. An FU To Canon

Lotor didn’t greet him this time, and perhaps it was nothing, despite the fact that he had never missed Sendak’s shuttle’s arrival before, not in over a thousand years, but…

“Prince Lotor requests that you excuse his absence,” one of Lotor’s officers said, walking him through the base. “An emergency came up in a different part of the sector.”

An emergency? What sort of emergency? “Nothing too serious, I hope,” Sendak said politely, trying not to grind his teeth. 

“I wouldn’t know,” the officer said, in a tone that said he didn’t approve of Lotor. Not a big surprise; a lot of Lotor’s command staff were made from the dregs of the Empire, sent here so they’d be out of the way. “His Highness did not condescend to tell anyone.”

Three weeks passed, and Sendak spent his time doing his normal inspections and worrying about Lotor. 

He hadn’t sent word about an emergency, and there wasn’t anything in the broadcasts or the comm channels, but… 

What could it possibly be?

Lotor showed up outside his quarters one night, completely unexpectedly, as no one had bothered to inform Sendak that Lotor was returning. 

He looked exhausted. 

“Come in,” Sendak said. 

Lotor did, wordlessly, almost lifelessly. 

“I was worried about you,” Sendak said. “Your officers just said that you were dealing with some kind of emergency. Is everything alright?”

“No,” Lotor whispered. He turned and buried his face in his hands. His shoulders shook, and he was outright sobbing, a heart wrenching sound.

Sendak gathered him into his arms.

“Nothing’s alright. It’s...It’s just like before. I told them they would be safe, but I can’t- She’s-“ His words were swallowed by his sobs.

Sendak took him to the bedroom and sat on the bed, holding him, until he reasserted his control over himself. 

“What happened?” Sendak asked, rubbing Lotor’s back soothingly. This had shaken him a little -over a thousand years, and not once had he seen Lotor cry; frankly, he hadn’t been sure that Lotor could cry -but he had to be strong for Lotor. 

“I- I’m half-Altean,” Lotor began. “I found out, before. No one else knows. I mean, they can see that I’m a half-breed, obviously, and I suppose they could put it together, if they wanted. Empress Honerva was Altean, and she was my mother, but my father doesn’t allow anyone to speak of her, so…

“And my father wanted to...wipe out the rest of the Alteans. Altea itself wasn’t enough. Some were off-world when it happened, and they’ve been in hiding ever since. They didn’t want to fight, Sendak. They just wanted to live their lives in peace. I found some of them, and I found a place for them, someplace I thought no one would ever find them.

“I was wrong. So horribly wrong. The High Priestess- the witch -she… She had me followed, and she found out. And now she’s… She’s making me… I have to-“ He broke off, sobbing again.

“It’s going to be alright,” Sendak murmured. 

“No, it’s not!” Lotor cried. “I promised them that they would be safe, and now she’s making me hand them over for her vile experiments!” 

Oh gods; everyone had heard rumors about the High Priestess’s experiments. 

Lotor laughed bitterly. “Not all of them. She offered me a choice. I could let her take her pick from the Colony, or she would tell my father about it so he could make me watch as he annihilated it, without mercy. All the Alteans. The children, the elderly, mothers and fathers with their perfect little families, unafraid to raise their children because I swore to them that they were  _ safe _ .” 

“You could arm them,” Sendak suggested. “You have the resources and the knowledge…”

Lotor shook his head. “She promised that, at the very first sign of resistance, she’d bring the full might of the Empire down upon them. There is nothing I can do. Whatever I do, I am complicit in her disgusting little schemes, in the death and suffering of thousands, or even millions.”

“You are trying to save lives. Sacrificing a few for the benefit of the many. You cannot make them fight a battle you know they cannot win.”

“It’s my fault this is happening,” Lotor said dully. “If I had been more careful, then…”

“You don’t know that. You couldn’t have predicted that. You are just trying to do the best you can with what you have.”

“It’s not enough,” Lotor said. “It’s never enough. I’ve doomed thousands to suffer at the hands of her Druids, and that blood will alway be on my hands. But I will- I will find a way to make it right. I will. Somehow, someday.” 

Sendak believed him. Lotor was tenacious and goal-driven. If anyone could find their way out of this, it was Lotor. 

Finally, Lotor seemed more like himself, if a little more subdued than normal. “I’m glad you were here. Thank you for listening.”

Sendak kissed his cheek. “I only wish I could be here more.”

Lotor sighed, smiling sadly. “So do I.” 


	6. A Handy Reminder

News of the battle was incomplete, this far out, filtering in months after the event, more rumor than fact.

None of that eased Lotor’s worry. If anything, it made it far worse. Not knowing was the worst part, after all. If he knew, for sure, then he could mourn properly, grieve properly, and learn to accept a universe without-

And the reports continued. More battles won, vicious and merciless, led once more by Commander Sendak, fighting as if he had come back from the dead twice as alive as before.

It eased some, but not all, of Lotor’s worries. He needed to see Sendak for himself, touch him to know that he was real and alright.

He couldn’t, of course, until the next time he was sent to make a report. To do otherwise would be suspicious, and he didn't need anyone digging around in his affairs. 

Eventually -and it did feel like forever, even if it was only seven months after he first learned of the devastating battle -Sendak did return.

A commander of his caliber was expected to have a retinue with him, his First and Second Lieutenants, at least, perhaps others if the situation warranted it.

As usual, Lotor ignored them. They were loyal to Sendak, and had never caused a problem before. 

He only had eyes for Sendak anyway, cataloging the prosthetic arm, the cybernetic eye -obvious signs of injury -wondering if that was it, if there were other injuries hidden by his armor. Wondering how close he’d come to death. 

“Commander Sendak,” he said coolly, trying not to let anyone see how affected he was. 

“Your Highness.”

“I am glad to see you well,” Lotor said, leading Sendak away from the hangar. “We heard a great many rumors out here, but little fact.”

“I am well enough,” Sendak said. He sounded tired, and Lotor wanted nothing more than to take him to his private chambers and just...hold him. 

But not yet. “If you’ll follow me, my command staff is ready for inspection, and…”

* * *

Lotor hadn’t been this unsure about how to approach Sendak in such a long time. He was probably being silly, but he couldn’t help himself.

He sat nervously on the edge of the bed, trying not to anxiously sheathe and unsheathe his claws. It was ridiculous. If he wasn’t secure around Sendak, then who else was there?

Sendak uncoupled the prosthetic and set it in a corner, against the wall. It was disproportionately large and, from the way Sendak rolled his shoulders and sighed in relief, too heavy. 

“Come here,” Lotor said quietly. 

Sendak did, stopping just out of Lotor’s reach, as if he were also unsure. 

There was no need for that, from either of them. This didn’t change anything, really, about how Lotor felt. 

Lotor stood and pressed himself against Sendak’s front, not sensually, just trying to be as close as possible. 

Sendak hesitated, just for a second, then wrapped his arm around Lotor and buried his face in Lotor’s hair, already purring, almost desperately. 

“I almost died,” he whispered. “I almost died, and all I could think of was how much I wanted to see you just one last time.”

“I’m here,” Lotor said. “You’re alright.”

“Marry me.”

Lotor pulled away, just a little. “Do you mean that?”

“Yes. Yes, of course I do.”

“It will have to be secret, for both of our sakes.”

“I know, I know. I just- I want to know I am yours, regardless of what happens. We both know that I’ve been courting you for centuries now, but I don’t want to wait anymore. Please, Lotor…”

“Alright,” Lotor said, gently stroking the soft fur of Sendak’s cheek. “I will.” He’d known, for quite some time now, that if Sendak asked, he’d agree to it. For both their sakes, he’d half-hoped Sendak would never ask. 

It would be dangerous. If someone ever found out… 

Sendak could keep a secret. He’d kept this secret so far. 

Lotor kissed him, then stepped back. “Lay down for me, darling.”

“I love you,” Sendak said, achingly honest. An honesty that Lotor loved him for.

“I love you, too,” Lotor said, punctuating it with a kiss on the cheek, just below Sendak’s cybernetic eye. 

Sendak stretched out on the bed. He’d already stripped down to his undersuit, and it clung to him. 

He was still strong, despite his injuries. In fact, his injuries proved just how strong he was: he’d survived, when a lesser Galra would have perished.

Lotor climbed on top of him, stretching out so that they were chest-to-chest. 

“What are you doing?” Sendak asked, half-amused. 

“I need to know that you’re alright,” Lotor said quietly. “I need to see it with my own eyes, feel it with my own hands. I was so afraid for you, darling, and I didn’t know…”

“I’m alright,” Sendak said. “And all right.” He half-lifted his remaining arm up as evidence of this. 

Lotor scowled and tugged on Sendak’s ear. “That was terrible.” 

Sendak caught his wrist and brought his hand to his mouth, kissing his palm. “I really am fine, my love. I’m back in command, I’ve resumed my usual duties, and I’m here, with you.”

“That is the most important part,” Lotor said, smiling fondly. A small smile, sure, but almost all his smiles were reserved for Sendak these days. All his sincere ones, anyway. 

He moved, straddling Sendak’s waist, leaning over to kiss him, slow and deep, full of all the things he felt for Sendak.

Eventually, they did have to breathe, so Lotor turned and began kissing and nuzzling the scars on Sendak’s face, around his missing eye, memorizing each change in the face he’d known by heart for centuries. Relishing the softness and warmth of his fur, the soft breathy sounds he made. Soothing whatever remaining pain there was with each touch. 

Sendak started purring again, genuinely content this time, his arm wrapped loosely around Lotor’s waist. 

“What do you want tonight?” Lotor asked softly.

“Anything, as long as I get to hold you.”

Lotor kissed the tip of his nose. “That’s not very helpful.” 

Sendak pushed himself upright, struggling somewhat -he was still, apparently, getting used to having only one arm -finally leaning back against the headboard. “Like this?” He asked.

“Whatever you want, darling.”

“Just you,” Sendak said, his arm back around Lotor’s waist. 

Lotor lifted himself up on his knees and reached down to find the catches on Sendak’s undersuit; Sendak sighed as his cock sprang free.

Lotor pushed his robe off his shoulders, freeing his arms and then throwing the robe out of the way somewhere. 

“You look just as beautiful as always,” Sendak murmured, nuzzling Lotor’s throat.

“I lost weight worrying about you,” Lotor scolded softly, without heat. 

“I didn’t mean to worry you.”

“I know.” He pressed his forehead against Sendak’s and reached back, lining his cock up, then slowly lowered himself.

He’d had a lot of practice taking this specific cock, enough that he didn’t really need much preparation anymore, but it was still large, and it still made his toes curl. Still split him open in the best way. 

He was panting by the time he was fully seated, and Sendak was gripping his hip almost hard enough to hurt, in an attempt to remain still. 

Lotor rewarded him with a slow roll of his hips. 

Usually, the first time they had sex during Sendak’s visits was a rushed, frantic affair, months of desperation and loneliness driving them on.

It was different this time, with their foreheads pressed together, sharing the same breath, Lotor’s arms around Sendak’s neck and Sendak’s hand on his hip. 

It was so intimate, so private. They didn’t need to speak, didn’t need to do anything except let this pleasure build, a reassurance to them both that they were alive and together. 

Lotor came first, but he rode Sendak out through his climax before collapsing against his chest. 

Sendak purred, absolutely content. 

Lotor tucked his head under Sendak’s chin, clinging to him, as if it would protect him, as if there was anything Lotor could do to keep him safe. 

Sendak wrapped his arm around his waist, a little tighter, and held him. 


	7. Through Hardship and Prosperity

The planet Lotor had chosen for this was free of sentient life. Its star was dying, slowing expanding into a red giant, so it was unlikely that any would choose to settle here.

It meant Lotor could be sure there were no spies, no bugs, no traps. His paranoia made sense to Sendak, even if it angered him.

He wasn’t angry at Lotor, of course; just the people and circumstances that had forced him to be so careful, so distrustful. 

Lotor’s craft was easy enough to find, considering that he’d sent Sendak the coordinates and that it was set down in the middle of a meadow of some kind, bordered on one side by a waterfall and its basin. 

Sendak set down nearby, jumping out of his craft almost before the cabin had completed its pressure equalization protocols. They didn’t have much time -two days was the most they could manage, and part of that had to be spent in transit -so he wanted to spend as much time with Lotor as he could. 

Lotor was waiting for him, smiling softly. He appeared willing to set everything else aside, for today and tomorrow, so Sendak should, too. 

For now, it was just them, this beautiful, uninhabited planet, and the dying star to bear witness. 

“I was wondering if you’d ever show up,” Lotor teased.

“My coworkers are idiots,” Sendak said, and normally he would have elaborated, but for now he left it at that. He didn’t want to dwell on that right now.

He bent to kiss Lotor, and Lotor returned the kiss easily, melting into it as if it hadn’t been almost a year since the last time they saw each other. 

It was always like that; whenever they were together, it was like they had never been apart. 

“The sun will set in about an hour,” Lotor said, “and there’s a bluff not far from here, overlooking this beautiful valley, that will give us a good view of the sunset, so…”

“Are you nervous, my love?” Sendak asked.

Lotor smiled wryly. “A little. I just… I’m happy, I really am, but I can’t help but feel that this could go wrong. Not between us, but… Something else. I do want to marry you, Sendak, I just… I don’t want to see you get hurt because of me.”

Sendak kissed him again. “Don’t worry about me, my love. Not today.”

Lotor hesitated, then nodded. “Alright. Let’s eat, first, then we’ll…”

“Then we’ll get married,” Sendak finished. 

“Yes. Then we’ll get married.”

* * *

The sunset over the valley was, perhaps, the second most beautiful thing Sendak had ever seen, the first being (obviously) Lotor. 

He told Lotor as much, eliciting a soft smile and a twitch of one ear. 

Lotor had brought along a small camera drone to act as their witness. It was perfectly legal, and it would prevent a third party from knowing about this. The easiest way to keep a secret was to tell as few people as possible.

“We’ll have a real wedding one day,” Lotor said with conviction, “perhaps on Feyiv, when one of us is the Emperor, and we’ll say our vows under the fire of the Kral Zera, in front of the whole universe.”

“I don’t need to tell the universe about my devotion,” Sendak said, “as long as you know.”

“I already know,” Lotor said, still smiling fondly and with such love… He got the drone into the air, then made a few minute adjustments from his wrist controls. “But...let’s make it official. For us, at least.”

Sendak nodded and took Lotor’s hands in his. Since he’d been the one courting Lotor and not the other way around, he spoke first. “In the sight of all the stars in the sky, I ask, with all that I have to offer, that you accept me and take me as your husband, from this day forward, through all the trials we may face, through hardship and prosperity, through flood and drought and fire, until the last star burns out.”

“What is it that you have to offer?” Lotor asked.

They had each memorized the ancient, traditional phrases for this, since they would have no officiant to prompt them. 

“My sword is yours, drawn first in your defense. My wealth is yours, providing first for your needs. My heart, most of all, is yours, at your mercy, for you to do with as you will.”

“I accept your offer,” Lotor replied. “I will stand at your side, to defend when you cannot, to provide when you cannot, through all the trials we may face. What has been said to one has been said to both of us, for, in the sight of all the stars in the sky, I accept you and take you as my husband. My heart is yours, from this day forward until the last star burns out.”

“I, Commander Sendak, accept the duties and responsibilities of marriage. Your honor is mine. Let me show no mercy to those who seek to tear us asunder.”

“I, Prince Lotor, accept the duties and responsibilities of marriage. Your honor is mine. Let me show no mercy to those who seek to tear us asunder.”

And...that was it. They were married, officially. 

Sendak picked Lotor up, kissing him breathless.

Lotor pulled away finally, grinning, his eyes brimming with happy tears, looking down at Sendak lovingly and joyously. “I love you,” he said. 

“I love you, too,” Sendak replied, knowing that a similar expression was on his face. 

“My husband,” Lotor said thoughtfully, caressing Sendak’s cheek. He laughed, a genuinely happy laugh, and Sendak had never heard a more beautiful sound. “We’re married, my darling.”

“We are,” Sendak said, caught up in Lotor’s happiness. Had he ever seen Lotor this happy before? Had Lotor  _ ever _ been this happy before? It was such an addictive thing; he wanted to make Lotor this happy all the time. ”We are, my love, my husband.”

Lotor kissed him again, slower and sweeter, then rested his forehead against Sendak’s. “Let me send the drone back to my ship, because I want to do some things with you that I don’t want recorded.”

“Not even for the sake of posterity?” Sendak teased. 

Lotor laughed again. “No, darling. Trust me, it’ll be memorable enough.”


	8. Until The Stars Burn Out

Lotor wrung out his hair, then laid back on the sun-warmed rock, enjoying how the warmth sank into his bones after his soak in the waterfall’s basin.

It was so simple here. Just him and Sendak and nothing else. In his mind’s eye, he could easily imagine a little domescile at one end of this meadow, just big enough for the both of them. They wouldn’t need much, really.

It wasn’t to be. This planet’s sun was dying, which would render the planet inhospitable within the next several thousand years. 

And, besides, they both had duties, responsibilities. If they disappeared, people would come looking for them. 

But, perhaps, he could pretend, just for now. 

He sighed wistfully.

He was suddenly soaking wet again, as if by a sudden rainstorm.

He looked, only to see Sendak shaking the water off himself, in pretty much the exact same manner as  Kova did whenever he got wet. 

“Sendak!” He yelped, half in consternation and half in mirth. 

He hadn’t considered the lack of efficient sonic dryers when he’d suggested the soak. Neither of their smaller personal craft would be equipped with those.

“Come here, darling,” Lotor said, trying not to laugh at his husband. He’d just never seen Sendak so put out before. 

Even his ears drooped under the weight of his sodden fur, and it would take his thick fur forever to dry, even with the sun’s heat. 

It didn’t help that, apparently, his husband was ninety percent fur. 

“Sit down,” Lotor said, standing and stretching up on his toes to kiss Sendak’s cheek. A Mistake; there was no discreet way to spit fur out of one’s mouth. “I’ll be right back.”

Sendak grumbled but did as Lotor asked.

Lotor came back shortly with Sendak’s grooming kit, with its wire combs to pull out moisture and loose fur. The heat from the rock ledge would prevent Sendak from catching a chill while Lotor got him looking respectable again. 

Lotor got to work immediately, starting with the thick fur of Sendak’s back, combing it first against the grain to get the air circulating and to loosen any dirt or stray hairs, and then once more with the grain, to lay it back down flat. 

It was nice. Really nice, this quiet, gentle intimacy. 

Sendak started purring, now that he wasn’t so miffed; after all, he’d also forgotten that they didn’t have sonic dryers available. 

Lotor finished with his back, and rubbed his cheek against Sendak’s shoulder. His fur was so much softer now, and it practically gleamed in the sunlight.

Sendak only purred harder.

It was strange. Usually, Sendak was the one performing some service for Lotor, and not the other way around, simply because that was the way it worked out. But this was nice, too. And, now that they were married… There was nothing stopping Lotor from taking care of Sendak, too. 

Lotor kissed his shoulder and had him tilt his head back. 

* * *

Sendak was much happier now that his fur was dry and put back in order. It had taken Lotor a considerable part of the morning, time he considered well-spent, but now the sun was directly overhead, forcing them to take shelter under the belly of Lotor’s ship.

Neither of them wanted to actually sleep. They only had so much time here, and they didn’t want to waste it, when it would be almost a year before Sendak was sent back to Lotor’s sector on an inspection tour. 

It would be different, one day. Lotor had to hold on to that. One day, he’d be able to spend as much time with Sendak as he wanted. He just had to be patient. 

For now, he curled up against Sendak’s side, idly combing his fingers through the fur of his chest.

“You didn’t have to do that for me,” Sendak said. He sounded...chagrined, perhaps. Almost ashamed, but not quite. “I am capable of grooming myself.”

“I know,” Lotor said. “I wanted to. You do so much for me… Surely, that is the least I could do. Besides, you enjoyed yourself.”

Sendak rumbled an affirmation. “Still… It’s…Different.”

“Intimate, you mean.” 

Sendak hesitated. “Yes.”

“Darling, we are married now.” Lotor turned and looked up at him. “You are my husband, and I will do anything for you. You have nothing to fear from me, just as I know that I have nothing to fear from you.”

Sendak pulled him in for a kiss, pouring into it all the things he couldn’t find words for. Lotor understood.

“I suppose I’m just...embarrassed,” Sendak said finally. “I didn’t mean for you to see me like that.”

“I thought it was cute,” Lotor said, kissing the tip of Sendak’s nose and tugging on one ear. “Even the fearsome Commander Sendak can be brought low by a little water.”

Sendak huffed.

“It’s not a big deal, darling,” Lotor said. It occurred to him, suddenly, what the real problem was. “Is it because I’m a prince?”

Sendak’s silence was answer enough.

“You know that I have never really cared about that, especially when we are alone together.”

“You shouldn’t have to take care of me.”

“I don’t  _ have _ to do anything,” Lotor said. “But I want to, and… And we are married now. There is no rank between us any longer. We are equals, and I suppose, technically...you are a prince now, too, since you’ve married into the royal family.”

“I know,” Sendak said. “It’s just...strange.”

Lotor hummed an agreement. “You told me once that there was nothing you wouldn’t do for me, so let me tell you now, my darling, my husband, my Sendak, that there is absolutely nothing I wouldn’t do for you. No matter how menial.”

It was true. Had been true for quite some time now. Since well before Sendak had asked him to marry him, certainly. 

Lotor changed the subject. In the soft heat of the day, when they should be sleeping, it felt like the right time to discuss this. “Sendak, darling, now that we are married… I don’t want there to be anything between us.”

Sendak blinked cautiously a few times, his ears flicking.

It wasn’t that Lotor hadn’t trusted Sendak before. He had, more than anyone, which hadn’t been a difficult thing. But now… They were married, and it was different now. Sendak could promise things all he wanted, but marriage vows were unbreakable. 

“So… Let me tell you everything,” Lotor said. 

It took hours, the sun passing its apex and sinking low in the sky, starting from the beginning, for Lotor to tell him every secret, every plan, every project.

Sendak listened intently, not interrupting him once. Here and present and with Lotor in a way no one else ever was. 

Lotor fell a little bit more in love with him for that. 

When Lotor was done, Sendak only nodded. “Until the last star burns out, my love, my husband, my Lotor.”

Lotor kissed him. 


	9. Foreshadowing Is A Bitch

Lotor’s plans were complex. 

Sendak had guessed as much, but actually hearing them laid out was something else.

Lotor was taking a risk in telling him. Not that he would ever willingly divulge anything, but the High Priestess’s powers only grew. He wasn’t well-versed enough in Druidry to know where the limits of her power were. Her or any of her Druids. 

But Sendak had managed to avoid suspicion this long, and he would continue to do so for however long it took. For Lotor. For his husband.

The sun had set, and they were wide awake again, their internal clocks telling them it was time to hunt, to eat.

So they ate. Just rations, but it didn’t really matter what they ate. It was just food. He’d take rations over the finest cuisine the universe had to offer, as long as he got to eat it with Lotor. 

Then Lotor climbed into his lap. “We don’t have nearly as much time left as I would like,” he said.

“I know.”

“Give me something to tide me over, until we can be together again,” Lotor murmured, soft and seductive and demanding at all once.  

Sendak kissed him, holding him close, somewhat resistant to Lotor’s attempts to speed things along. They had hours yet, and Sendak wanted to make the most of that time. 

There was almost a year until his next inspection tour of Lotor’s sector, but there was always the possibility it might get pushed back; Lotor wasn’t considered a top priority at Central Command anymore, and Sendak was needed at the front.

Getting even these two days free had been something of a miracle. 

He laid Lotor out with an aching gentleness, pressing kisses down his neck and chest and everywhere he could reach.

It was rather convenient that neither of them were dressed. Lotor had decided to forgo clothing, since the only person with him was Sendak, and Sendak had merely followed his example. 

“You’re beautiful,” Sendak murmured, and it affected Lotor as much as it had the first time, his skin growing hot with his flush, his ears twitching, his breaths shallow and ragged. 

He  _ was _ beautiful, too, and it really had startled Sendak to find out that no one had ever told Lotor that. Sure, he wasn’t stereotypically Galra, but… 

But it meant no one else had ever seen how Lotor melted with the slightest bit of praise, how he became absolutely pliant under these soft ministrations, soft and needy and truly beautiful. 

Sendak was the only person Lotor trusted enough to let see him like this, and it was an honor and a privilege that Sendak would do his utmost to earn. 

“You don’t have to do anything,” Sendak said. “Let me take care of you.”

Lotor nodded, his eyes half-lidded but dark, wanting. 

“I love you,” Sendak said, achingly honest, needing to say it as many times as possible before they were parted again. “I love you, Lotor, so much.”

Lotor smiled softly, reaching up to stroke Sendak’s cheek. “I love you, too, darling, and I always will. You have my heart, Sendak; do with it as you will.”

“I will cherish it,” Sendak said, leaning down to kiss Lotor’s ribs, right over where his heart beat, “like the precious gift it is.”

Then he moved down, between Lotor’s legs, which Lotor obliging spread; Sendak lifted them onto his shoulders with ease.

Lotor’s back arched with the first press of Sendak’s tongue to his entrance. Like this, Sendak couldn’t see Lotor’s face, but he knew he looked beautiful and blissed out; Lotor loved this, more than he wanted to admit.

But Sendak knew, and that was enough. 

Lotor was shaking with need by the time Sendak sat back, panting harshly and pulling at his hair in an attempt to ground himself. 

“Shh,” Sendak murmured, pulling Lotor into his lap. “Don’t think. Just feel. I’ve got you, I’ll take care of you.”

Lotor nodded against Sendak’s shoulder.

He cried out when Sendak entered him, viscerally pleased, clutching at Sendak’s shoulders, trying to urge him on. 

Sendak fucked him slowly, gently, taking time to whisper praises about everything he loved about Lotor, and watched Lotor fall apart. 

Perhaps, if Sendak had to describe it, he’d call it ‘making love’ and not fucking, not sex; those words were too obscene for this soft, beautiful thing. This gift that Lotor gave him, the privilege of taking him apart in a way no one else ever could. 

Like all good things, it had to end. Lotor came with a sob, and Sendak followed shortly after.

He held Lotor while he came back to himself, nuzzling the top of his head and rubbing his back, feeling all the tremors that wracked his body.

Lotor started sobbing into Sendak’s shoulder, quietly at first, but then more loudly, with less restraint, sobs that shook his whole body and robbed him of his breath.

“I’m here,” Sendak soothed. “I’m here. Go ahead and cry if you need to, it’s alright, I’m here…”

When Lotor finished crying, he remained curled up in Sendak’s lap, clutching onto him like a lifeline, like it would prevent them from being parted in a few hours. 

“Don’t go,” Lotor whispered hoarsely. “Run away with me. Don’t leave me, Sendak, please, I can’t-“

“Where would we go?” Sendak asked gently. “Where could we go?”

Lotor shook his head. “I don’t know, but-“

Sendak titled his chin up. “You have plans, my love, plans that you must see through to fruition, and if we ran away together, the Empire would only come after us. You know that.”

Lotor nodded miserably. “I know,” he whispered. “I know, Sendak, but I can’t… If something happened to you…”

“I will always be with you,” Sendak said, placing a hand over Lotor’s heart, “in here. No matter what. I can never leave you, my love, for you have my heart, just as I have yours. There is work to be done, but one day it will be over, and we will be together as we are meant to be. For now, though, my love, I would give the universe just to see you smile.”

“Do you truly believe that we will succeed?”

“Yes,” Sendak said. “I believe in you.”

Lotor smiled, a little sadly, and wiped his eyes. “As long as I have that, my darling, then perhaps there is nothing I cannot do.”

Sendak kissed the top of his head. “There is nothing you can’t do, my love, once you’ve made up your mind to do it.”

* * *

The sun would rise in about an hour, signaling the end of their time together. 

Sendak didn’t want it to end. He liked having Lotor pressed close against him, where it was easy to watch over and protect him.

“My love,” Sendak began, “I don’t like the idea of you being alone once you return to your sector.”

“I’ve always been alone,” Lotor said. “I’m used to it.”

“If I can’t be there to watch your back, then someone else should be. Someone you can trust.”

“There’s no one else that I trust.” Lotor looked away. “No one but you. You know that.”

“Find someone,” Sendak insisted. “You can’t do this alone.”

“I’m not alone,” Lotor said. “I have you, and I always will, whether you’re right next to me or galaxies away.”

“Lotor…”

“I...will look,” Lotor said. “But I can’t promise that I will find someone. I know…” He sighed. “I know most of my command staff would sell me out if it got them back to Central Command, and the rest would stab me in the back just because if they got the chance, so…”

“Then look elsewhere. Tell them what you told me, gain their trust, their loyalty.”

“I can never tell anyone what I told you,” Lotor said. “Not until it is over. Telling you was enough of a risk, and I trust you with every fiber of my being. But I will try. I will do what I can.”

“That’s all I ask,” Sendak said, kissing Lotor’s cheek. “I don’t want anything to happen to you.”

“What would you do?” Lotor asked quietly. “If something did happen?”

“I would tear the universe apart,” Sendak replied. 


	10. Appreciation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apparently today is Lotor Appreciation Day, and no one appreciates Lotor as much as tmgood!Sendak, except maybe TNotG!Sendak. And me. I drink my Appreciating Lotor Juice on the daily

Marriage did not impact Lotor’s daily life much. He missed Sendak, of course, but he’d been missing him for such a long time now.

If they could have afforded to be more open about their marriage, perhaps Sendak could have applied for a transfer, and then they could live together… 

But that wasn’t to be. If Zarkon found out, the  _ best _ outcome he could hope for was Sendak’s transfer to halfway across the empire, so they could never see each other. 

The worst outcomes didn’t bear thinking on.

So. Life went on. 

He designed and built new ships, better ships. He fought, when he needed to. He allowed the planets he conquered to rule themselves, as long as they did not rebel overtly. 

He could not afford too much scrutiny in his sector, now or ever. If Sendak’s reports stopped matching the rumors that came from his sector, the witch would send someone else to investigate, and then-

Sendak’s request echoed in his head most nights. He was right, of course. A commander had his First and Second Lieutenants to rely on; a prince should have  _ someone _ , and if he couldn’t have Sendak…

So he looked. Covertly, as he did everything. 

In the meantime, he stopped accepting the disgraced officers he was often sent, officers sent to this backwater as a punishment. All of them useless, arrogant, and indolent. 

Once he had a -a small  _ team _ , perhaps, he could simply rely on sentries to do whatever manual labor he needed done. Sentries were smarter than most of the soldiers he was sent anyway. 

It happened completely by accident. 

An unmarked ship crossed into his sector. That alone was strange enough. 

The fact that there was exactly one life sign onboard was stranger still, on a cargo ship that large. 

The “cargo” was a hybrid, blind and mute and, based on the ship’s navigational records, one of the witch’s  _ specimens _ . 

“Can you understand me?” Lotor asked. 

The hybrid nodded. 

“My name is Prince Lotor,” he said, “and I’d like to make you an offer.”

* * *

“As you see, I’ve made many changes since your last inspection,” Lotor said. Sendak walked next to him, and Narti trailed several steps behind. She was very protective of him, and while Lotor appreciated it most of the time, it was unnecessary with Sendak.

He kept that to himself. The fewer people who knew, the better.

“The Emperor has had to find new places to send the undesirables,” Sendak remarked. “Though I hear the Ulippa System is nice this time of year.”

“I imagine the ice worms are rather gamy,” Lotor said drily. 

Sendak hummed an agreement. “And I thought this was the worst post in the Empire.”

“It certainly used to be,” Lotor agreed. “But we manage. I’ve begun production on several prototypes based on my new ship designs. They’ll be space-worthy within the next three years.”

“So soon?”

“Sentries do not require rest, and are more efficient than the soldiers I was sent anyway. Of course, I’m sure that the troops under your command are some of the best in the Empire.”

“It requires the firm hand of a commander who can inspire loyalty and discipline in his men.” 

“I shall remember that,” Lotor said. It was one of the reasons he fought alongside his troops, to inspire loyalty. They liked seeing that he really was just like them, despite being a prince and a half-breed. “I imagine you must be ready to retire after your long journey here,” he continued.

“Of course, your highness.” He bowed and left. Just part of the charade.

“Narti, you may take your leave as well,” Lotor said, once Sendak was gone. “I will be in my quarters, should something require my immediate attention.”

She inclined her head and left, silently, cat-like, Kova following on her heels.

* * *

Sendak was waiting for him by the time he got back to his quarters. There was always something to be done, after all, and as much as he would like to completely clear his schedule during these... _ conjugal visits _ , it simply wasn’t possible. 

“You’re limping,” Sendak said.

Lotor was. “I shattered my knee in a battle several months ago. It only bothers me when I’m tired.”

Sendak scooped him up without hesitation. “You must be tired, then.”

“I am,” Lotor admitted. “There’s so much to do, and I don’t sleep well by myself.”

Sendak carried him back to the bedroom and gently placed him on the bed, before starting to take Lotor’s armor off. “I’m glad I’m here, then,” Sendak said, nuzzling the side of Lotor’s neck before kneeling on the floor in front of him. “You need rest, my love.”

“I know,” Lotor said with a sigh. This wasn’t the first time they’d had this conversation, and it probably wouldn’t be the last. “I’m glad you’re here, too.”

Sendak took Lotor’s injuries very personally, almost like an assault on his honor, and he took time inspecting Lotor’s knee, which Lotor very dutifully held out for him.

It was still healing, still tender and inflamed, but he’d been cleared to walk on it months ago, and it really did only bother him when he was tired and had been on his feet all day. 

It was still nice to have Sendak gently massage his knee and shower it with soft kisses. He loved it when Sendak was affectionate like this.

“I love you,” Lotor said softly, stroking Sendak’s ears the way he liked.

“I love you too, Lotor,” Sendak said, placing a final kiss to the inside of Lotor’s knee before standing. 

Lotor settled back against the pillows, content with the knowledge that Sendak would return just as soon as he took off his armor. He was too tired to protest anyway, so he just watched Sendak strip down to his undersuit. 

Then Sendak climbed into bed next to him. 

Lotor pulled him close and kissed him, the way he’d been wanting to ever since Sendak left the last time. He hated being parted from his husband the vast majority of the time, even if it was necessary. It wouldn’t be, one day, but for now he just had to take everything he could get. 

“Does your knee still hurt?” Sendak asked.

“A little,” Lotor said, “but not enough to keep me from enjoying your company to the fullest extent possible.”

“I’ll be gentle.”

“I won’t break.”

“I know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...what do you guys think? I love getting feedback from you all :)


	11. You’re It For Me

It wasn’t exactly strange that Sendak had never spent a peak with Lotor before. His inspection tours were only growing further and further apart, and his peaks were, too, as he got older.

Lotor had once made an off-hand comment about his irregular cycle, something he attributed to his genetics. Sendak thought his poor sleeping habits had more to do with it, but Lotor was...stubborn. 

Still, it was only now, more than five thousand years after they first started their relationship, that his peak finally coincided with an inspection tour. 

He felt amped up when he stepped off his shuttle. 

Lotor wasn’t there to greet him -he wasn’t always, these days -but one of his generals was. The short one, rather than the blind one. 

Axca, maybe? 

She wrinkled her nose in distaste when she caught a whiff of his scent, but she greeted him as politely as ever. 

“Prince Lotor is in a meeting, but he requested that I provide whatever you may require until he can attend you himself.”

“When is Prince Lotor’s meeting due to end?” 

“In about an hour. He had intended to greet you himself, but…”

“In that case, I’d like a chance to refresh myself.”

“Of course. Please follow me.”

* * *

This base was newer, and had been built after their marriage. 

Lotor had clearly taken that into account when designing the residential sections.

The guest rooms Sendak stayed in were right next to Lotor’s quarters, with a hidden door connecting them. It was well-hidden, and you’d never find it unless you knew exactly where it was. 

It made sneaking around infinitely easier. 

He’d already showered and dried off by the time Lotor returned. 

“Axca told me you had arrived,” Lotor said, beginning to pull his armor off. 

“She’s very...polite,” Sendak said.

“She’s brilliant,” Lotor said. “I snagged her from some idiot commander who passed her over for promotion six times, simply because she’s a hybrid. Can you imagine! But she’s rather more personable than Narti.”

That wasn’t hard to do. 

“But enough about that,” Lotor said, climbing into Sendak’s lap. “I missed you.”

“You’d miss me if I was gone for five minutes.”

“Hm… True,” Lotor agreed. He kissed Sendak. “You smell nice. Are you using a different soap?”

“I, uh…” He’d kind of been counting on Lotor just... _ knowing _ , but… He cleared his throat. “I’m in my peak right now.”

Lotor’s eyes glittered with interest. “Are you now?” 

“Yes…?” 

“I don’t care what I have to do,” Lotor murmured. “I’m clearing my schedule. I’ve never been with a male in his peak before, did you know that?”

He’d really thought that he’d stop being surprised by Lotor by now. That nothing Lotor could do anymore would leave him as flustered as a cadet with a crush. “I...didn’t know that.” Why was his mouth so dry? 

“Mm...It’s true,” Lotor said, “and I have missed you so much. Haven’t you missed me, darling?”

“O-of course,” Sendak choked out. It would be a lot easier to think if Lotor stopped rolling his hips like that. 

“Then fuck me.”

Sendak didn’t think. He just acted, pulling Lotor off his lap and pressing him face-first into the bed, gripping his hips with one hand, making his back arch so beautifully. 

Lotor was laughing, but his laughter promptly turned into a startled moan when Sendak shredded his undersuit, far too impatient to bother actually taking it off. Besides, this was more fun. 

Sendak draped himself over Lotor’s back, reaching for the lube on the bedside table and biting at Lotor’s neck. He had such a lovely neck…

Sendak slicked himself up as quickly as possible and pressed in, reveling in how good Lotor felt, after such a long time apart.

Lotor practically screamed; it really was a good thing he’d had his quarters soundproofed. 

Sendak hesitated. He was eager for it, yes, but he certainly didn’t want to hurt Lotor. 

“Keep going,” Lotor wheezed, his voice muffled against the mattress. “I want it, I want you…”

Well, that couldn’t possibly be any clearer. 

Sendak fucked him with everything he had. It wasn’t just that he was peaking right now, but also the fact that he hadn’t seen Lotor in two years, the fact that they so rarely got to be together for any great length of time, Lotor’s sweet cries of pure bliss…

It had never been better. The surge of hormones that came with this point in his cycle contributed to that, but it still wouldn’t have been this good with anyone but Lotor. He knew that for a fact, as surely as he knew his own name. 

Lotor went completely limp, allowing Sendak to do as he would; Sendak bit at that place under Lotor’s jaw as a reward. He loved his fierce, indomitable prince, yes, but he also loved this precious pliant creature, sweetly begging for everything Sendak wanted to give him anyway. 

Sendak came and narrowly avoided collapsing directly on top of Lotor. He wanted to drift off immediately, but first… “Are you-?”

Lotor laughed breathlessly. He was still sprawled face-down on the bed, shaking with laughter and overstimulation. “If you didn't notice,” he said finally, almost an admonishment, “I came twice. Were you so consumed by your animal lust that-?”

“You make me lose control,” Sendak growled, pulling Lotor close, peppering little kisses all over his face. 

Lotor hummed appreciatively. He liked having that kind of power over Sendak, Sendak knew, but Sendak honestly didn’t mind. 

“You make me feel like an adolescent again, so much overwhelming desire but no outlet…”

“I’m here,” Lotor murmured. “But if you could wait fifteen minutes, at least, I would appreciate that.”

“Insatiable,” Sendak teased, nipping Lotor’s ear.

“Only for you.” He rubbed his cheek against Sendak’s jaw, inhaling his scent. “I haven’t looked at anyone else in...millennia. You’re it for me, I think, my darling. Perhaps we might take a third partner, eventually, but I… I doubt that it would be for any reason other than political necessity.”

“I will do whatever you ask,” Sendak said. “If we must take another spouse, though, I would request that they treat you at least as well as I do.”

Lotor tugged his ear affectionately. “No one else ever could, Sendak. You’ve seen every part of me, and yet you still… accept me, as I am. You’ve never asked that I become something I’m not, and I don’t know if I’ll ever find anyone else like that. I’m so incredibly...blessed, to have found you, I think, even if I know I don’t deserve-“

“Stop that,” Sendak said, firmly, gently. He kissed Lotor’s forehead. “It’s not about what you deserve, my love. It never was, because if it was, you would deserve all the love and kindness in the universe.” Lotor made a soft, protesting noise, but Sendak continued: “And you are perfect the way you are. I love you for who you are, and I would never want you to feel that you had to change to please me or anyone else.” 

Lotor smiled softly. “You will never know how much it means to me to hear you say that.”

“No,” Sendak admitted, “probably not. But it’s how I feel, and I wanted you to know. I love you, Lotor. You are the most important thing in the universe to me. You know that, right?”

Unshed tears glimmered in Lotor’s eyes. “I do. I love you, too, Sendak. Thank you, for everything you’ve done for me. I can’t promise that it will end well for us, but… I will do everything in my power to ensure that it does.”

“I believe in you, my love.” 

* * *

Somehow, Lotor did the impossible and cleared his schedule. 

“It’s easier now that I have my generals,” he’d explained. “I can trust them to do as I ask without much oversight.”

In the end, Sendak was pleased with the arrangement. There weren’t actually many officers on the base anymore, other than Lotor’s generals, and they knew not to ask too many questions, so…

“Wish you could stay here with me, my darling,” Lotor said, loose-limbed and relaxed after another round with Sendak.

Sendak had the excuse of his peak, but there was no reason  _ Lotor _ should be this insatiable. Still, Sendak loved that about him, just as he loved everything else. 

“I do, too,” Sendak said, nuzzling the top of Lotor’s head. 

“But the information you provide me is invaluable, especially now that you’ve made your way into the Inner Circle.”

“It’s just gossip, mostly.”

“Nonsense!” Lotor said with mock-outrage. “That gossip has roots in truth, and it’s very helpful for me to know about all of that. I will return to Central Command one day, and if I know ahead of time that Commander Throk is an ambitious fool, that Quartermaster Janka would rather make alliances than fight, that-“

“Do you also want to know what they say about  _ you _ ?” Sendak growled. That was the worst part, really, of listening to all that gossip. Everyone had an opinion about Lotor, and it was never good. 

Lotor sighed. “I already know what they say. They used to say it to my face, did you know that? So. I can imagine. It doesn’t matter. The only opinion I care about is yours.”

Sendak kissed his cheek. “If I could, I would make them eat their words. Your honor is mine, remember?”

“I love how protective you get over me,” Lotor said, “but it’s unnecessary. I can take care of myself, and anyway, once we make our marriage public, I sincerely doubt that anyone would dare voice their drivel where you could hear.”

“Not after the first fool fell to my blade.”

Lotor smiled. “I would love to watch that happen. My vicious, victorious protector. I’d reward you, after. Have you press me up against the wall, perhaps. Stain me with their blood, like the truly savage creatures that we are…”

Sendak huffed a laugh. “Have I not satisfied you yet?”

“I think my peak is going to start soon. I’m not due for one, but…” He crawled on top of Sendak. “Well. I suppose we should make the most of it.”

Sendak could never refuse his lovely, ravenous prince. 


	12. Loneliness

    Sendak couldn’t stay for more than the first week or so of Lotor’s peak.

    His absence was absolute hell.

    He’d never shared a peak with anyone before, and it seemed that the combination of Sendak’s pheromones and his very presence triggered the most intense peak Lotor had ever had. Even counting the ones he’d had during adolescence, when they were supposed to be at their most intense.

    It got to the point that Axca had to pull him aside -respectfully, of course -and tell him to get ahold of himself.

    Easier said than done. But at least his generals were more-or-less unaffected. They only happened to be female, but ultimately, it worked out for the best. He couldn’t imagine having to deal with too many other males -who weren’t Sendak, and who would most likely be heavily affected by his cycle -right now.

    He couldn’t sit still for more than ten minutes, he snapped at one of the few officers he had left, and he destroyed a sentry. He really was far too old to be acting like this, and yet.

    Fortunately, he’d had the foresight to pilfer one of Sendak’s shirts. His scent still lingered heavily on it, and Lotor’s sense of smell was much improved during this phase of his cycle. He could, at the very least, trick his body into believing he wasn’t alone.

    There was always the possibility of… finding a partner, of course. That was what most males did, if they happened to be alone during their peaks for whatever reason.

    Sendak would certainly understand -Lotor didn’t know if that’s what he did, during his, but Lotor would have understood if he did -but the idea was somewhat… repulsive. Galra were semi-monogamous at best, but whoever he found in the short term to take the edge off wouldn’t be Sendak. They wouldn’t touch him like Sendak would, they wouldn’t fuck him like Sendak could.

    There was also the emotional aspect. Even if he could find someone to satisfy him physically, they could never satisfy him emotionally, and these days, that was what he craved more than anything. He could get himself off whenever he wanted to, but he couldn’t do all the other things Sendak did for him. Couldn’t hold himself as he drifted off to sleep. Couldn’t shake himself awake gently whenever he had a nightmare. Couldn’t wake himself up with soft kisses.

    So there was no point in looking for someone to take the edge off. It would only leave him more frustrated and lonely.

    He spent a lot of time on the training deck. It was easy to build muscle like this, the excess testosterone in his blood preparing his body to fight or fuck. Might as well put it to good use.

    This would be over in a few weeks, and he could bear it. He’d been through worse. Much worse.

* * *

 

    He knew he shouldn’t use this channel unless it was of utmost importance, but he was so terribly weak and lonely.

    _I_ _miss_ _you_.

* * *

 

    Of all the things he expected to receive in a supply shipment, a diplomatic pouch (it was actually a box, but semantics) from Central Command wasn’t one of them.

    It made no sense, but he couldn’t deal with it right away. The shipments contained various components he needed to maintain the numerous sentries that he had working in his various projects, among other things.

    He had the package scanned to ensure that it was harmless, then had it put in his quarters. He’d deal with it later.

    Later, as in, by the time Lotor made it back to his quarters, his centuries’ old knee injury felt as if it had happened yesterday, and he could barely keep his eyes open.

    He’d half-forgotten about the package, and he debated leaving it until he woke up.

    Curiosity got the better of him. Who at Central Command would be sending him a diplomatic pouch? Why? What was in it?

    Only one way to find out.

    There was a short, handwritten note on top, so he opened that first.

    _My love, I regret that I cannot be there with you at this time, so I hope these small tokens of my affection will help make our separation easier, until I can hold you in my arms again. Yours Always, S_

Lotor smiled softly to himself. He doubted that anyone else ever got to see this side of Sendak, but he really was sweet with Lotor. Hopelessly romantic, too, but it was something Lotor loved him for.

    He tucked the note in the pocket of his armor, right over his heart. Maybe that made him a hopeless romantic, too, but honestly… He’d never thought he’d get to have what he had with Sendak. Maybe it was alright to cherish this. Let himself be in love and happy sometimes.

    There were two items left in the box. The first was one of Sendak’s shirts. It still smelled like him, and Lotor buried his face in it. The scent of the shirt he’d ‘borrowed’ was starting to fade, so this was a very thoughtful gift.

    The final item was a nondescript box.

    Lotor opened it and felt his face instantly go hot.

    “Sendak, darling, you filthy bastard,” he muttered. He certainly was not going right to sleep _now_.

    The item was a high-end replica of Sendak’s cock. Lotor knew that for sure, because he’d been married to Sendak for how long, now? He’d gotten quite... _intimate_ with that cock.

    He’d rather have Sendak with him right now, but until his peak ended, this would certainly help with the sexual frustration. It wasn’t his fault his fingers weren’t large enough to really satisfy him.

It was too bad the secure channel they had didn’t have enough bandwidth to send a picture.  After all, Sendak did deserve a reward for being so thoughtful.


	13. Unpleasant Revelations

Lotor wasn’t there to greet Sendak this time, but he’d been assured by one of Lotor’s newest generals that he’d return soon. Within the next few hours, certainly. 

When he did finally show up, he looked...defeated. He was limping, which was never a good sign, especially considering that he didn’t appear to have been in a battle recently. 

He didn’t say anything, just locked the door behind him and began numbly stripping out of his armor, just going through the motions.

“Lotor?” Sendak asked softly. He wanted to touch Lotor, but sometimes, when he was like this, Lotor didn’t like to be touched, so. 

Lotor sighed and hung his head, his back still to Sendak. “I had a really bad week,” he said finally. “Not the worst week of my life, but close. So I- I am glad you’re here, but I don’t think I’ll be very good company.”

“That’s alright,” Sendak said. “Come here?”

Lotor did, curling up in Sendak’s lap and tucking his head under his chin, making himself as small as possible. Sendak just held him close. Lotor would share when he wanted to, and not before. 

He didn’t cry. He hadn’t cried -that Sendak knew of -for a long time, and while Sendak suspected it was because he was simply repressing everything that hurt him, there was little he could do, other than just... _ be here _ , when he could. 

So he didn’t cry now. Just clung to Sendak like there was nothing else in the universe. Like Sendak could protect him from everything.

They both knew that wasn’t true, but sometimes it was nice to pretend. 

“There was an emergency at the Colony,” Lotor began softly. “One of the…” He stopped, considering the right word to use. Specimens? Experiments? Alteans? “...Prisoners escaped the facility and made it back to the main colony. He… I remember him. He was a child, back when I used to visit more frequently. When it hurt less. He was fatally wounded in the crash, and I had to… I know that the witch’s facilities aren’t… I know that they are terrible places. 

“I’ve been there. I know. But if any of the colonists found out what she was doing there… There would be riots, and she would destroy them. And she would make me watch again. Have you ever seen a planet completely destroyed, Sendak? I have. It’s a terrible thing to watch, especially when the people there trusted you to keep them safe. 

“I want to- to do something, but I’m just not ready yet. I just need a few more years. A century, maybe, and then I can… 

“So I had to clean up the evidence of the crash. All of it. Including the body. He had a sister, who never went to the facility, and I would have liked to have given her that much, at least. Closure. A hollow thing, perhaps, but it would have been better than nothing. But I can’t. She can’t know. No one can.”

“I am so sorry, my love.” 

Lotor rubbed his cheek against Sendak’s shoulder. “That’s not the worst part. It was bad enough on its own, it really was. I hate what she’s doing, and I will stop it when I can, but. 

“I found an old archive of Altean files recently. I was running that along with some data I retrieved from one of the witch’s unmarked cargo ships, and long story short, the archive seems to suggest that the witch...is my mother.”

Sendak must have heard that wrong. “What?”

“That fucking witch gave birth to me,” Lotor said. 

It took a lot for Lotor to use profanity these days. “Maybe there’s some...mistake, or…?”

“I managed to confirm it,” Lotor said. “It’s not like she wears gloves, so I used touch-DNA, and… Well.”

“The empress died,” Sendak said. “I don’t understand how…”

“She went into the quintessence field,” Lotor said softly. “Maybe… maybe it corrupted her. Maybe she’s not the same person, in the most literal fashion. Maybe she gave birth to me, but that’s it. She’s never shown any familial affection towards me. I don’t think… Maybe she’s not Honerva anymore, which means…. She’s not my mother. Not really. And...she’s a monster. I don’t want to claim her as my blood.” 

“So what are you going to do?” Sendak asked softly.

Lotor sighed. “Nothing, for now. She clearly either doesn’t remember or doesn’t care, so it doesn’t change anything. I know of a source for transreality ore, but I can’t get it without Voltron, and if I had Voltron, I wouldn’t need the ore. Of course, if I had Voltron, I would have to immediately turn it over to my father, or else he’d have me killed.”

“Would you need all of  Voltron to retrieve the ore?”

“Probably not,” Lotor said. “But I don’t know if either of us would be able to pilot any of the Lions, which probably means I’m going to need someone else to do my dirty work for me.”

“Your generals?”

“I don’t know if they could either.” He sighed again. “Thank you for listening, my darling. You’re the only one I can really talk to about these things.”

“Of course, my love. You will figure this out, Lotor, I know you will.”

Lotor smiled. The smallest smile ever, but Sendak would take it. “Thank you for believing in me. It’s meant a lot to me, over the years.”

“Anything for you, Lotor.” 


	14. A Distraction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is actually based on an anonymous ask I got a few months ago on tumblr:  
> “Hnggggg can you just imagine Lo asking Sen for a distraction and there’s trust so Lotor allows him to tie him down and Sendak just teases him until he’s practically begging to be fucked and when he begs sweetly enough Sen complies (and there’s a lot of very soft and sweet aftercare)”  
> I hope I did it justice ;)

Lotor couldn’t stop thinking about it. Any of it. It hardly ever got this bad, but right now it felt like he was about to claw his skin off. The thoughts circled around and around and around, and he couldn’t-

But Sendak was here, for now, and…

“Darling?” 

“Mm?” 

“I need a distraction. I can’t take my mind off of… what happened, and I’m going to lose my mind, so I just…”

“Alright. What did you have in mind?” 

Lotor flushed. He’d been thinking about this for some time. Sendak was gone more often than not, and that had led to some rather...colorful fantasies. But he wasn’t sure if...

But what was the worst that could happen? Sendak would say no, and that would be the end of it. So.

Lotor took a deep breath. “I would like you to...tie me down, and tease me until I’m begging for it, until I can’t think anymore. I don’t want to think right now, I just want you and I trust you to do this for me, so…”

Sendak looked a little startled by that, but then his eyes darkened. “Are you sure about this?”

Lotor nodded. “I’ve… been thinking about it, I just…” 

“Alright.” Sendak kissed his cheek. “Now?”

Lotor flushed further. “Yes. I… There are restraints in the second drawer of the nightstand.”

“There’s no need to feel embarrassed by this,” Sendak murmured. “I must admit, the idea of having you completely at my mercy is quite...attractive.” 

“I can’t believe I married such a deviant,” Lotor huffed, but he felt a little more relaxed now. Sendak’s opinion really was the only one he cared about, so if Sendak was onboard with this…

“You love me,” Sendak said, nipping Lotor’s ear. 

“I do,” Lotor agreed fondly. 

* * *

Lotor tugged on the restraints again. Sendak really had been quite thorough, restraining not just his wrists, but his ankles too, leaving him spread across the bed, unable to do more than squirm.

It was perfect. 

Sendak had already spent an inordinate amount of time worshiping every inch of Lotor’s skin that he could reach, kissing every scar, caressing every lean muscle, whispering soft praises intended for Lotor’s ears only. 

Not being able to return the touches, not being to move away from them or press into them, magnified every sensation, until that was the only thing left. 

Sendak’s words, his touches, his affection.

There was nothing else, and Lotor didn’t need anything else. Just this. 

But now… Sendak had completely ignored Lotor’s cock, the place Lotor wanted his touch the most. “Sendak,  _ please… _ ”  

Sendak grinned against Lotor’s throat. “Beg for it,” he said.

The command sent shivers down Lotor’s spine. He was burning up, practically feverish, and yet this was so good, so… “Please touch me, Sendak. I need you to-“

“I am touching you,” Sendak murmured, his hand splayed across Lotor’s chest, a firm, comforting weight. “You’ll have to be more specific.”

“Kiss me,” Lotor begged. Demanded. It was all the same. “Kiss me, Sendak.”

Sendak bent down and pressed their lips together, cupping the back of Lotor’s head. Lotor let him ravish his mouth, giving himself entirely over to Sendak’s care. Just for now. 

It was only when Lotor was completely breathless and lax that Sendak pulled away. “I’m not going to fuck you until you beg sweetly enough. Can you be sweet for me, my prince?”

Lotor nodded.

“Good,” Sendak crooned.

Lotor flushed at the praise. 

“So good for me,” Sendak continued. Lotor didn’t know when he’d retrieved the lube, but two of Sendak’s organic fingers pressed against his entrance, slick and warm.

Lotor tried to push back against them, but he didn’t have enough slack, and Sendak kept his touch light, teasing, just tracing around his rim.

Lotor whined, and Sendak kissed his cheek. “You know what to do.” With that, he slipped both fingers in.

Anything Lotor might have said was lost to his moan, and Sendak began massaging his inner walls very purposefully, drawing Lotor closer and closer to the brink-

Sendak removed his hand entirely, just as Lotor was about to climax.

“No!” 

“Beg,” Sendak reminded him. “I want to hear you beg.” 

Lotor writhed for a moment, using the firm grip of the restraints to ground himself. “Please, Sendak, haven’t I been good enough?”

“It’s not about that.” Sendak pressed a kiss to the notch of his collarbones. “Go on, you can do it.” 

Of course he could; Sendak believed in him. Wasn’t that enough? 

Lotor swallowed. “I- I want you to fuck me. Please fuck me, I need it…”

“Better,” Sendak said, leaning down even further, so he could lick a thick stripe up the underside of Lotor’s cock. “Keep going.”

Lotor wasn’t sure how he was supposed to think like this, but then again,  _ not _ thinking was the entire point of this exercise. He twisted against the restraints, trying to get more of that delicious contact, but Sendak cruelly pulled away, just out of reach.

“Please,” Lotor whispered. “Sendak, please, please, I’m begging you, I need it, I can’t- Please fuck me…”

Sendak kissed the inside of Lotor’s thigh, so close to where he wanted and yet light years away, and something about that… Lotor wasn’t sure what, exactly, it was, but it made him burst into tears.

Sendak was immediately stroking his hair, trying to calm him down. “My love? Lotor, what’s wrong?”

Lotor shook his head. It was just so...overwhelming. He couldn’t-

“Do you want to stop?” Sendak asked, forcing Lotor to meet his gaze.

“No,” Lotor whispered. “I need you, I need to- to come, please…”

“Alright, alright.” Sendak kissed him chastely, running his hands down Lotor’s sides firmly, groundingly. “I’m going to undo the ankle restraints. Do you want me to undo your wrists as well?”

Lotor shook his head. He liked being at Sendak’s mercy, he really did.

Sendak left, standing to first remove the remainder of his clothing, and then to release the ankle restraints. 

Lotor stayed stretched out anyway; he felt too heavy to move.

And then Sendak was back, hovering over him, brushing away the tears that still flowed freely. “Are you sure?”

Lotor nodded. “ _ Please… _ ” 

“Alright.” Sendak pressed their foreheads together for just a moment, and then he hoisted one of Lotor’s legs up around his waist, and then he was pressing in, achingly slow, like he was afraid of breaking him.

For once, Lotor didn’t fight it. Sendak was in control, and this was what he wanted.

It was good. Lotor was already a little strung-out, from all the teasing, and this only served to draw the pleasure out further, take it to new heights.

It was too good. Lotor came, trembling, sobbing, with something that was more of an emotional release than a physical one. 

Everything when hazy, foggy, a sort of all-consuming pleasure that didn’t allow for any stray thought or emotion.

When he came back to himself, Sendak was curled up around him, purring softly.

“Are you really alright, my love?”

Lotor nodded and, upon realizing that his arms were free again, clutched at Sendak’s chest, tucking his head under Sendak’s chin. It was so nice here, so soft and warm and safe. 

“You were so good for me,” Sendak said, rubbing his back. “So good, you did so well…”

Lotor started purring at the praise, relaxed and content and...unburdened, for once. It was all just...gone, like it had never been. 

“I love you,” Sendak said, nuzzling the top of his head. “I love you so much. Every time I think that I can’t possibly love you anymore, you prove me wrong.”

“Thank you,” Lotor said quietly, “for doing that for me.”

Sendak smiled fondly. “It wasn’t such a hardship. Do you feel better?”

“I think I can actually sleep now.”

“Mm, that’s good. Go to sleep now, my love. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

Lotor nodded. That was his favorite part of having Sendak here: not waking up alone. “I love you, Sendak.” 

Sendak held him just a little tighter as they drifted off together. 


	15. Before The Storm

Sendak woke the the soft chime of his comm unit. 

_ Shit _ . He couldn’t afford to turn it off completely, just in case, but Haxus had very strict orders to not disturb him unless it was urgent. 

So.

He glanced over at Lotor, to see if if the chime had woken him. It had not; in fact, Lotor hadn’t stirred at all. Not even his ears moved. He was just  _ out _ . 

_ Good _ . Lotor didn’t talk about it much, but Sendak knew he didn’t get much quality sleep when Sendak was away, so it was great that he felt safe and comfortable enough to sleep so deeply now. 

Sendak untangled himself from Lotor’s embrace as gently as possible, trying not to wake him.

Lotor only sighed in his sleep and rolled over into the warm spot Sendak left behind.

Sendak took the comm unit and slipped over to the guest room, where he was supposed to be in the first place, before answering it.

“What?”

“Good morning, Commander,” Haxus said. “Sleep well?”

“What. Is. It. Haxus.” 

“We’ve just received an urgent communication from Central Command.”

_ Shit _ . “What did it say?” 

“You’re being summoned before the emperor.”

“For what reason?”

“I don’t know.”

Sendak swallowed his irritation. This was normal; Zarkon was rather…capricious. It just hadn’t happened while Sendak was on an inspection tour before. “Plot the most efficient course back to Central Command.”

“Already done, Sir. We won’t have to leave for another four hours.”

“I’ll be back on the ship in three and a half, then,” Sendak said, before ending the call. 

Haxus didn’t know. No one knew. Lotor kept it even from his generals. So Zarkon couldn’t possibly know. 

It was still early, and he might as well make the most of the three and a half hours he had left with Lotor. He didn’t know why he was being summoned away, so he couldn’t say how long he might be gone, or when he would return. 

There was always the possibility that he  _ wouldn’t _ . They were at war, after all. But he didn’t like thinking about it. There was only so much he could do to ensure that he returned to Lotor; beyond that…

He slipped back into Lotor’s bedroom. Lotor was still sound asleep. Good; he needed his rest. 

Sendak laid back down, pulling Lotor close, memorizing his scent, his peaceful, relaxed expression, the way his body felt in Sendak’s arms. 

Lotor woke naturally about half-an-hour later, rubbing his cheek against Sendak’s chest, slowly rousing.

Sendak caught the exact moment Lotor realized that he was still there, his lips twitching up in a soft, slow smile. The worry and anxiety that usually lurked behind his eyes was still absent, leaving him with only  _ happiness _ . 

“Good morning,” Sendak murmured. 

“You’re still here.”

“I said I would be.” 

“Mm…” Lotor still wasn’t totally awake yet, and he was so... _ beautiful _ like this. 

“I love you,” Sendak said.

“Love you too,” Lotor said, cuddling closer to Sendak, as close as he could get. “Love having you here. Love waking up with you. Always sleep better with you…”

Sendak nuzzled the top of Lotor’s head, purring. Gods, he loved Lotor so much, it felt like his heart was going to burst. 

He should have had another three weeks of this, at least, but he was being robbed of that. He sighed.

“What’s wrong, darling?” Lotor asked, glancing up at him. 

“I’m being summoned to Central Command,” Sendak replied. “I have to leave in a few hours.”

Lotor sighed, clutching tighter, like he could keep Sendak here against their emperor’s orders. “Why?”

“Not sure, but Haxus doesn’t seem worried about it.”

“Hm,” Lotor replied. A subtle condemnation of Sendak’s First Lieutenant, but honestly, if it were possible, Sendak would have preferred to have Lotor as his First Lieutenant. He understood Sendak better than anyone . 

He probably wouldn’t have made a good First Lieutenant for anyone else, but that was  _ their _ loss. 

“Probably another commendation,” Lotor said finally. “He does like heaping those on you, not that you don’t deserve them.”

“Thank you,” Sendak said with a laugh. 

“It’s true. You are his right hand for a reason, my darling, and that reason is that you are very good at what you do.”

Sendak kissed him. “You deserve some of the credit.”

“I’ll claim it someday,” Lotor said flippantly. “A few hours until you have to go, you said?”

“That’s right.”

“I suppose we should make the most of it,” Lotor said, climbing on top of Sendak, pushing his shoulders down against the bed, kissing Sendak within an inch of his life. 

* * *

It took a lot of effort and planning to sneak Lotor aboard Sendak’s ship like this, but it was worth it to see his expression now.

“This is why my father summoned you?” Lotor asked, awed, his eyes wide and shocked. 

Sendak nodded. “He said he didn’t need it, that it should go to someone he trusted to be at his side. His second-in-command.”

Lotor laughed softly. “Well, he wasn’t the  _ Red _ Paladin, was he?” 

The Red Lion of Voltron stood in a cleared hangar, the soft blue glow of the particle barrier surrounding it. It was larger than Sendak had imagined.

“If I had time to study it,” Lotor said, mostly to himself, “I could…” He reached out, touching the particle barrier; it stayed put. “I could come up with a way to find the other four, and then…” 

“It must stay in my custody,” Sendak reminded him.

“I know.” Lotor sighed. “Still, this is ultimately a good thing. He has thrown his support behind you. He has all but named you his rightful successor. That is a useful position to be in.”

“Mm,” Sendak agreed. “I will do as you ask in this, as in everything.”

“Not yet,” Lotor said. “Not yet. He is too strong for you to challenge directly, and I won’t have you throw your life away in a half-assed bid to assassin him. But… This signals a profound change, in everything; the time for action will come soon. We must be patient. Carry on as you have been. Do not let anyone suspect your loyalty to the Empire and its Emperor.”

“I think this proves that my position in the Inner Circle has never been more secure.”

Lotor hummed an agreement. “Make sure it stays that way, my darling.”

“As you command, my prince.”

Lotor smiled and pulled Sendak down for a kiss. 


	16. Meddling Children

Sendak tried his best to hide his irritation. Obviously, he was used to being called away from his inspection tours to Lotor’s sector, but really. 

Like it was  _ his _ problem that the scouts hadn’t been able to stop the Blue Lion. Like it was  _ his _ problem that it had suddenly reappeared in his sector. 

They couldn’t have waited...two weeks? He would have taken that without complaint. 

Then they had to go and find the Yellow Lion. Steal the Red Lion. Blow his ship up. Destroy his fleet. 

And now he was stranded here, with Haxus. No rescue would be sent- the Empire did not believe in rescue missions -so unless he figured this out, he was going to die here.

Alone, probably, because he was going to strangle Haxus. 

It wasn’t really Haxus’s fault, he knew, but he just really wanted to be with Lotor right now, like he was supposed to be. 

He knew Lotor listened to the Empire’s radio chatter, so he would be apprised of what had happened up until Sendak’s ship had been lost. He must be worried; until Sendak took the castle, they had no off-world comms. No way to let Lotor know that he was alright. 

So, he’d recover Voltron, put an end to these meddling children, and take his well-deserved vacation time on some planet far away, with Lotor, not leaving the bed for a solid two weeks. 

* * *

_ He was trapped in his own mind.  _

__ _ The High Priestess had technology that could, allegedly, pull the thoughts out of someone’s mind, and Sendak had to wonder if this device they had put him in was similar.  _

__ _ He felt something battering at his thoughts, trying to get in, but he resisted. Mental fortitude and discipline were important attributes for a soldier, and he prided himself on having these qualities.  _

__ _ He had been trained to withstand torture, and while this pain was everywhere, he could handle it. He could handle it. They weren’t going to take anything from him. _

__ _ The stakes were too high.  _

__ _ Lo- _

__ _ No. Best not to even think about him. But he had people who depended on him, and he wasn’t going to let them down, and that was the end of it. _

__ _ Even if this thing battered against the walls he put up, sinking its hooks in and pulling, ripping… _

__ _ The Champion was here, leading this team. Sendak had seen him a few times, in the Arena. An impressive fighter, a lot like Lo- _

__ _ Like other fighters Sendak had seen. Able to take on opponents much larger than himself. But he was weak, mentally. Let it bother him too much. A weakness. The laws of the Arena were different.  _

__ _ The assault didn’t stop. There was no rest here. Time and tenacity conquered all foes. _

__ _ The barriers fell. _

__ _ He kept his thoughts focused on relevant things. Tactics, strategies. Kept his thoughts away from irrelevant things, away from Lo- _

__ _ Personal things.  _

__ _ The pain didn’t stop, even as he gave up information, his very thoughts. But he could withstand torture, and nothing he gave them would be particularly helpful, in the long run. If they were smart, they knew most of what he’d given them anyway, just basic things every private learned.  _

__ _ He felt the dark encroaching suddenly, the pain ending so abruptly that it was almost painful in its own right. _

__ _ The dark, cold void of space engulfed and subsumed, and now that the barrage had ended, he allowed himself to think the thing he’d wanted to think for...however long it had been:  _

I’d give anything to see Lotor, just one last time. 


	17. Change of Plans

News from Sendak’s sector filtered in slowly. Or rather, it took time for the algorithms to reconstruct radio transmissions sent from so far away.

    News of sightings of the Blue Lion, the Yellow Lion, the theft of the Red Lion.

    News of the destruction of Sendak’s fleet.

    Then...nothing, nothing at all, until news of sightings of the Altean Castle of Lions came through.

    Sendak was officially listed as MIA, along with his First Lieutenant. The rest of his fleet were presumed dead.

    MIA did not mean dead. It only meant that Sendak was missing. Stranded somewhere, perhaps, and without access to any sort of comms.

    Lotor told himself that. He was still exiled, and he wasn’t supposed to leave his sector without a good reason, so there was nothing he could do but tell himself that Sendak was alright.

    He had to be.

    There was no one Lotor could talk to about it, so he pressed on. Sendak was still out there somewhere, and Lotor would find him. In the meantime…

    In the meantime, Voltron somehow managed to strike at the very heart of the Empire, maiming the Emperor as no one else had managed in ten thousand years.

    And so here Lotor was.

    He didn’t dare ask about Sendak. Likely, no one knew anything he didn’t already know, and he couldn’t risk arousing suspicion. The witch was suspicious enough as it was.

    Perhaps not without reason, but still.

    No, he just...had to stay focused. Sendak was still alive, as far as he knew, and unless he received information that suggested otherwise, he was going to work off of that assumption.

    In the meantime, he had work to do.

* * *

 

    Fighting Voltron did nothing to change that belief. If anything…

    It was hard to imagine that they had almost killed his father, and there was undeniable proof of that.

    These... _children_ could not have possibly killed his husband, and that was all there was to it.

* * *

 

    It made no sense.

    It should have worked. He’d done all the calculations, run all the simulations, tripled-checked everything, and now-

    He’d flown too close to the sun.

    His thoughts were too scattered. He needed to find someplace to go to ground, now that his father was awake and demanding his blood.

    He’d needed this to succeed so badly, after everything…

    He felt Axca’s approach, and he turned, just as she said, “For Narti,” and-

* * *

 

    Lotor almost felt bad about it, considering.

    If they had just had a little more faith, then…

    (Sendak would have had faith in him, until the last. Until the very end. Until they knelt together at the execution block. And even after.)

    He had one Sincline ship, and ore enough to build another, assuming he could find the necessary facilities.

    His shoulders ached. He was flexible enough to dislocate and relocate them at will, yes, but that didn’t mean it didn't hurt. Didn’t do damage.

    He hadn’t slept in… a week? Maybe? He wasn’t sure. It was always so hard to keep track of time in space.

    Maybe he could just...for a few minutes. A few minutes wouldn’t do any harm, out here. There was nothing out here, just space debris, and he just needed ten minutes of sleep…

    The alarm startled him.

    Shit, he was being followed. Someone had found him.

    There was a star, near enough. Dangerously unstable.

    But then, he was just a _dangerous lunatic_ , right? So…

* * *

 

    It bought him time. He just needed time to think. Figure out what to do next.

    But he didn’t have it.

    He perked up a little at the radio chatter.

    Sectors were being cleared, and he’d seen plans for a- a super weapon of some kind.

    The witch’s design, of course.

    If it detonated, it would take out so many planets, and so many lives would be lost, and he couldn’t-

    He set a course immediately. He wasn’t about to let her do this.

    He fired immediately upon reaching the battlefield; there was no time to waste.

    The Coalition forces, spearheaded by Voltron, still hadn’t realized that other people could listen in on their radio chatter. If he wasn’t so tired, he might have laughed.

    Instead, he listened for a moment, ensuring that the battle was over (it was; the witch had fled) before pulling himself together and opening a channel. “Voltron, rebel forces, I know that we have had our differences in the past, but now I think it’s time we had a discussion.”


	18. Asylum

All told, it could have been far worse. They didn’t, for instance, torture him. Intentionally. They fed him. It was a relatively safe place.

The lights were too bright for him to actually sleep well, but, again, he was alive. He was in one piece. And if he ever convinced Voltron that he wasn’t trying to work against them, then maybe this would all work out after all.

He had surrendered willingly, after all. Allowed them to search him for hidden weapons. Allowed them to keep him in this...cell.

It even had a bed, a feature not often found within Galra prisons. 

The fact that it was not long enough for him to actually stretch out was overlooked by all parties. 

It wasn’t until they all came down to the cell that he was seriously anxious. 

But he had to hide that, too.  _ Don’t let them see anything. Don’t let them see any weakness they can use against you. Don’t give them a way in; that’s how you end up with a knife in the back.  _

His father...wanted him back.

To kill him, of course. Probably execution via torture. The death of a traitor. 

The Druids would make certain it lasted a long,  _ long _ time. 

“My father will kill me,” he said. “If you hand me over, I am dead.”

”He’s got my dad!” The Green Paladin said, and really, she was little more than a child. She should just let the adults talk. 

“And we’re going to get your dad back,” the Black Paladin said. “But I’m not sure this is the best idea, either.”

”I don’t care!”

Lotor turned to Allura.

Gods, she was... _ beautiful _ . She really was. “My death is not the solution,” he said. “Imagine, Allura, if you will, an end to this war. An end I can help you create, through a royal alliance, Altean and Galra…”

She looked as if she was considering it, almost.

Political necessity had never seemed quite so beautiful. 

“It...could work,” she said, thoughtfully. She turned back to the paladins, willfully exposing her back to him. A gesture of trust? Or carelessness? “Lotor has a point. I don’t like trusting the Galra, but-“

And that was the crux of it, wasn’t it. He was either too Galra or not Galra enough. The only person who hadn’t needed him to be something he wasn’t-

“We don’t need Lotor. We have Voltron! We can do whatever we want!” Said the Green Paladin.

Another crux. All that power, in the hands of those who were too self righteous… 

He argued his side as long as they would let him, but it hadn’t been enough. It never was. 

So… Unless something changed, unless some miracle happened, tonight would be his last night, and tomorrow, he would be expected to go gracefully to his death. Not gloriously, on the battlefield. It would be painful, undignified, lonely.

Just like his life. 

He couldn’t sleep. 

He considered taking his own life, if for no other reason to spite them all. His father, the Green Paladin. All of them.

But. 

If, by some miracle, he survived tomorrow… Sendak was out there  _ somewhere _ . He hadn’t expected the paladins to care about him as a person, but he was an incredibly useful ally. He’d memorized everything he could during his time as Emperor Pro Tem, for this exact reason, and that information had already advanced their cause.

Were they willing to so callously put an end to that, simply for this child’s father? An intelligent man, yes, but he was just one man, with no power to change anything, no useful intel. Just sentimental value.

That was one of the reasons he’d kept his marriage a secret. No one could use it against him if no one knew about it.

He wanted to see Sendak one last time. 

When it came down to it, that was all he wanted. Just...to see him, touch him, kiss him one last time…

It was that thought that finally had him sobbing into his hands, trying to muffle every sound, because he still wasn’t sure if they were spying on him or not. 

Not this betrayal, not his impending death, none of that.

He just wanted to see Sendak again. Just for five minutes. 

* * *

He cleaned himself up before they came for him in the morning, washing away all traces of his outburst. 

Sendak would kill them all, if he ever found out that they were the root cause of his death. He’d promised to tear the universe apart for him; surely taking on Voltron would be no great feat. 

The flight down to the planet where the exchange would take place was awkward. 

What did one say to the man whose life one was trading away? 

The Green Paladin refused to look at him.  _ Good _ . 

The Black Paladin pulled him aside, just after they set down, after the rebel and the other paladin exited the shuttle. 

“I don’t like this either,” he said quietly. He placed his bayard -the Black Bayard, once his father’s tool of choice for simpler, shorter executions -on a seat. “But we’re not supposed to be armed.”

Lotor glanced at him, then back down at the bayard. “I suppose you’ll have to leave it here, then.”

Shiro nodded, catching his eye, and Lotor understood. 

If he had to walk into a confrontation with his father, he’d rather be armed. 


	19. Too Much or Not Enough

His father was dead.

Lotor hadn’t been entirely sure that was possible, but he was dead. Zarkon was dead. 

It wasn’t over, yet, but it would be, soon, if he could convince someone to take him to the Kral Zera. 

He wouldn’t have to go. If he knew where Sendak was… 

But he didn’t, and if he didn’t become Emperor, someone else would, and then… 

Still, he was almost relieved when they shoved him back in his containment cell while they dealt with the situation on Olkarion. It gave him time to think and lick his wounds. 

They hadn’t offered up the use of their healing pods, and he hadn’t asked. If he wanted to fight at the Kral Zera, he probably should have, but…

Well, if they had been willing to trade him like meat while he was awake, what would they do when he was incapacitated and defenseless? 

He went through his field medical training, self-inspecting for serious injuries, beginning with his cervical vertebrae and working down his spine, both arms, both legs, before palpating his abdomen.

His exam, rudimentary though it was, revealed nothing of great concern, despite the beating he’d taken. A few cracked ribs, some bruising. His knee ached, but that was a psychosomatic issue, rather than a physical one. 

He didn’t really want to be alone right now, he realized. 

He wanted Sendak. He wanted to talk about this with Sendak, who would understand, better than anyone. No one had ever given him more support or less judgement. 

_ Where was he? _

* * *

In the end, it was the Black Paladin who got him to the Kral Zera.

Lotor stopped dead in his tracks at his first glimpse of the field.

Sendak was there. He was alive and well and -and where had he been?

But there would be time for that later. For now…

They had discussed this, years ago. Lotor had anticipated his status as a hybrid causing legitimacy issues, but. If he could defeat someone most other Galra held in high esteem, like say…  _ Sendak _ , then...

And of course they had been sparring with each other since the very beginning. There was no chance of either of them actually being injured; they knew each other too well, could anticipate every move before it happened. 

So this was no more than a beautiful, deadly-looking dance. 

And Sendak played his part well. Too well, in the end, perhaps, but. 

Even the Blade’s botched operation didn’t end up being a serious obstacle, despite the in-fighting it caused. 

Lotor lit the flame anyway, and Sendak was in a position to help him take down the witch, and it would be over soon. 

And now he knew, at the very least, that Sendak was alive and well. 

He could breathe again.

* * *

He was disappointed but not surprised by the outcome of the trials at Oriande. Too Galra for the Alteans, and not Galra enough for the Galra. The story of his life.

But Allura… seemed to be warming up to him. Whether that was because she knew now that he was half-Altean, or because she’d simply decided to trust him, he didn’t know.

Didn’t matter. 

And she’d passed her trials, and she could help him with the Sincline ships. Could help him get into the Rift. 

It seemed like it was all going to turn out alright. 

He went back to work on the ships after Voltron left to deal with the shield station. It was unfortunate that Sendak had needed to do such a thing to keep his cover, but Voltron could certainly handle it. 

He let himself be absorbed in his work. It had been a long time since he’d been free to just...tinker like this, and he didn’t feel the same urgent anxiety that he had before. His father was dead, he was the emperor, and Sendak was alright. 

They’d spent much longer periods apart before; it was only the uncertainty of Sendak’s fate that had unduly upset him. But Sendak was alive and well, and that was the important thing.

He’d left orders not to be disturbed unless it was absolutely necessary, so when he heard the hangar doors open, he said, without looking up, “There had better be an emergency of some kind, for you to disturb me when I specifically said-“

“The emergency,” a very familiar and welcome voice drawled, “is that I haven’t seen my husband in-“

“Sendak!” Lotor said, practically throwing himself at Sendak. “What are you doing here? How-?”

Sendak caught him, of course, lifting him easily and holding him close. “I needed to see you. I missed you.”

“I missed you, too,” Lotor said, “but-“

“Don’t worry about it,” Sendak murmured. “Just… enjoy this.”

“Alright,” Lotor conceded. He was so terribly weak for Sendak, after all. “There’s a secret passage that leads to my quarters,” he said.

“Is there?” Sendak asked, giving Lotor a look.

“Don’t give me that look.  _ I _ didn’t design this place,” Lotor said, tugging Sendak’s ear affectionately. “But it is convenient. You can’t be seen here, with me.”

“Not yet,” Sendak agreed. “But soon, everyone will know that you are mine.”

“Soon,” Lotor repeated. 


	20. As Your Emperor Commands

“Your generals were eager to fill me in on everything that happened,” Sendak said. “Are you alright?”

“I’m well enough,” Lotor said. “Better, now that you’re here.”

Sendak kissed his cheek. “They betrayed you,” he said gently.

Lotor sighed and glanced away. “I know.”

“And then you were forced to surrender yourself to Voltron, and they tried to trade you back to your father.”

“It worked out in the end,” Lotor said. “My father is dead, and now I am the Emperor.”

“Lotor…”

“It’s fine. I don’t want to talk about it. I know you don’t have much time here…” He opened the door that led to his chambers -the Emperor’s chambers -and ushered Sendak through. “I want to make the most of it.”

“I do, too,” Sendak said, “but I need to make sure you’re alright. You fought your father, Lotor! Gods, you could have been-“

“I know,” Lotor whispered. “I know. But he’s dead, and I’m here, and you’re here, and we don’t have much time, so…”

Sendak picked him up again. He loved holding Lotor, loved having his weight in his arms, loved having him close enough to protect, should it come to that. “Alright,” Sendak murmured. “As my Emperor commands.”

Lotor’s breath hitched, just a little; no one else would have noticed it, but no one else knew Lotor as well. 

Sendak carried him across the huge, cavernous room to the bed. Lotor allowed him to set him down and remove his armor and flightsuit.

It was...strange, to do this in this unfamiliar, overlarge room, rather than Lotor’s cozy quarters on his main base. This didn’t feel  _ safe _ , in some primal way, like they were out in the open, in front of everyone. 

Sendak stripped down to his undersuit anyway. 

“I’ve already checked for bugs,” Lotor said, as if reading Sendak’s mind. 

Sendak kissed him. “Do you feel safe here?”

“Safe enough,” Lotor said with a shrug. “Safer, with you here.” 

Sendak smiled, and guided him into lying down in his front. 

“What are you doing?” Lotor asked, half-amused.

Sendak brushed his hair aside and kissed the nape of his neck. “I just need to know that you are alright.”

Lotor huffed, but he didn’t protest when Sendak peeled his undersuit off. 

A proper field examination should be done with two hands, but the prosthetic wasn’t sensitive enough, so he had to make do. 

He started with the base of Lotor’s skull, pressing gently along both sides of his spine, listening for any changes in Lotor’s breathing, cues of pain.

His spine was in good shape, but his back was covered in dark yellow-brown bruises, places where he’d bled too much under his skin for his system to clear the blood before it started breaking down. 

A few of his ribs were definitely at least bruised, if the sharp inhales he gave when Sendak pressed lightly on them were any indication. 

“What did he do to you?” Sendak asked quietly, angrily. Not at Lotor, never at Lotor. This wasn’t his fault. 

“Nothing I can’t handle,” Lotor said softly, muffled against the mattress. “Nothing I’m not used to.”

It was probably a good thing that Zarkon was dead, because otherwise, Sendak would have gone immediately to kick his ass back into the Rift. No matter the cost. 

Sendak flipped him over and completed his examination. He was no doctor, of course, but he had enough field medicine training to reassure himself that Lotor wasn’t seriously hurt. 

“You’re lucky,” Sendak told him, sternly. “You could have been hurt, or worse, and then what?”

Lotor glanced away. “Sendak, my husband, will you promise me something?” 

Sendak nodded warily. “Of course.”

“If something happens to me… I want you to finish what I’ve started. Don’t let it all go to waste, Sendak. Please, will you do that for me?”

It was cruel; they both knew Sendak couldn’t say no to Lotor. Not when he asked like this. “I swear.” 

“You’re the only one I trust to do this,” Lotor said. “The only one who knows the entirety of what I’ve planned.”

“It doesn’t matter anyway,” Sendak said. “Nothing’s going to happen to you.”

Lotor smiled. “Of course.” 

Sendak leaned down to kiss Lotor, caging him in, pinning him to the bed, all the things he could do because Lotor was just so  _ small _ . 

And because Lotor let him. All the strength and power his Galra blood gave him was simply contained within a smaller vessel, making him absolutely dangerous. Watching Lotor fight was a rare treat. But he gave himself over to Sendak, and Sendak alone, and that was the rarest privilege of them all. 

Finally, Lotor pulled away slightly. “I want to ride you.”

“Alright,” Sendak agreed easily. 

“I want to feel in charge. I need to feel...powerful.”

“You’re the Emperor, my love.”

Lotor grimaced. “Yes, but… It’s not the same. Your cooperation is an easy thing to ask for. Everyone else’s is a...different matter.”

Sendak kissed him again. “Whatever you need, my love.” He let Lotor roll them over, so that Lotor was on top.

Lotor kicked off the rest of his undersuit. Even bruised and battered, he was beautiful, limned in the soft lights of the Imperial Suite. It was like some lithe mythical creature was straddling Sendak’s waist, here to beguile him.

But Sendak had already been under Lotor’s spell for millennia now. 

Lotor stretched languidly, showing off the lean lines of his body. 

“You’re beautiful,” Sendak breathed, “my Emperor.”

Lotor’s eyes darkened, predatory now, and he licked his lips. “Oh?”

“Mm, the throne becomes you.”

Lotor rewarded him with a few strokes to his cock, his hand slick with lube. “Do you not think that this is a better seat for me?”

“I would never presume to tell you, Sire, where you should-“

Lotor laughed and raised himself up on his knees. “This is where I’d rather be.” With that, he sunk down on Sendak’s cock, drawing moans out of both of them.

Sendak struggled to keep his eyes open. He couldn’t stay long, after all, and he didn’t want to miss a moment of this.

Lotor was already panting, his head thrown back, a faint smile gracing his lips. This really was the only time he let himself go. “I missed you,” he murmured. “No one makes me feel the way you do. It’s not just the sex, although that is, of course, fantastic; I just… No one understands me the way you do.”

He rolled his hips, humming to himself in satisfaction, and Sendak tore holes in the sheets, trying not to take over from Lotor.

“Behave yourself,” Lotor said sharply, but then he grinned mischievously. “Do as your Emperor commands.”

“Yes, Sire,” Sendak wheezed. It was a struggle to keep himself under control, but he liked to think of himself as disciplined. 

Lotor leaned back, balancing himself with a hand firmly gripping Sendak’s thigh, and Sendak knew he was in trouble. 

He gripped Lotor’s hip with his organic hand, leaving the prosthetic tangled in the sheets. 

Lotor set a hard, fast pace from the beginning, clearly using Sendak for his own pleasure, and that was… 

It was a miracle Sendak hadn’t come yet; it had been a while, and Lotor was just so beautiful and perfect and-

But he liked to think of himself as a considerate lover. “You’re beautiful, riding me like this, so perfectly… You’re so good, I love you so much. No one could ever compare. My love, my Emperor, my beautiful husband…”

Lotor came with a sharp cry, his hips stuttering, his chest heaving, his skin glistening with a thin sheen of sweat. He purposefully clenched down, and that was enough to pull Sendak over the edge. 

“Missed you,” Lotor murmured, collapsing next to him. “I didn’t know what happened to you, I didn’t know if you were-“

“I’m here,” Sendak soothed. “I’m alright.”

Lotor kissed him, sweetly, slowly, deeply. “We have a lot to discuss, and not much time.”

Sendak sighed and pulled Lotor close. “I know. I wish… Are you sure I can’t-?”

“The witch needs to be stopped,” Lotor said. “But it will be over soon. Can’t you feel it?” 

“No,” Sendak admitted. “But… I have faith in you, my love.” 

“I cannot thank you enough for that,” Lotor said. 


	21. A Matter Of Trust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mostly just Dramatic Irony and Heavyhanded Foreshadowing

As much as Lotor would have loved to simply cuddle with Sendak and just enjoy his presence, there was too much to be done.

He drew the curtains around the bed closed, more for the illusion of privacy than anything else. He felt more secure now, and he thought Sendak did, too.

Still, there was no reason why they couldn’t talk while cuddling. 

“Have you told them about the Colony yet?” Sendak asked.

“No,” Lotor said. He knew he needed to, but… now wasn’t the right time. “I am concerned. The Paladins rely on their emotions to make their decisions for them. If I present the information wrong, or simply at a bad time, I think they would misconstrue it. I’d like to wait, until the war is over, to do it. And I think… I should tell Allura, first, privately.” 

“Allura?” Sendak asked. “Not Princess Allura?”

Lotor flushed, a little. “I- have managed to cultivate what I hope will be a good working relationship, as our fathers once did, long ago.”

Sendak nipped his ear. “You don’t have to lie to me.”

“And maybe… Maybe something more, then. She is quite beautiful.”

“What is she like?” Sendak asked. “We’re going to be seeing more of her, if you have a ‘good working relationship’ with her…”

“She’s…” Lotor paused. His assessments of people were generally blunt, to-the-point, and rarely charitable, but he almost never shared them. “Naive. Young, by both Galra and Altean standards. A legal adult, yes, but she lacks perspective. She’s passionate, and sometimes she lets her passions rule her. She cares deeply about all things Altean; not surprising, given the circumstances. She has the makings of a great alchemist, and she’s already an accomplished warrior. I have seen little evidence of her diplomatic skills, but time will tell in that regard.”

“High praise, coming from you,” Sendak teased. 

“It’s the truth,” Lotor said. “And, of course, she is the last member of the Altean royal family.”

“I suppose you proposed a royal alliance,” Sendak said drily.

“‘Propose’ is such a- a loaded word. She might be open to the offer, though, if I make it again.”

“Only a fool would refuse you, my love.”

“It’s complicated,” Lotor said. “Alteans do not practice polygamy of any type, and marriage is generally for procreative or political purposes. She might be willing to set those traditions aside, but…”

“You would still have to tell her about me.”

“Yes. I can’t hide this from her forever, and furthermore, I don’t want to. I want you ruling at my side, as my consort and my husband. But… I don’t know if she, or any of the rest of them, would ever understand.  _ Could _ ever understand. They don’t know very much about Galra culture. They think we’re no more than bloodthirsty savages. But they are young, and they have seen so little of the universe, so I hope that time and experience will change their minds.”

“How you manage to remain so optimistic is a mystery to me,” Sendak said. 

“They’re Voltron; they’re supposed to be better. Defenders of justice and peace in the universe. I only hope I am right about this.”

* * *

Sendak woke Lotor before he left (mostly because Lotor had made him promise that he would), and Lotor clung to him for a few minutes.

He wanted to beg Sendak to stay. 

But… This was much bigger than either of them. It would be over soon, and then they could be together, but in the meantime, they had work to do, and they could not do it if Sendak stayed.

So he didn’t beg. 

“I love you, my darling,” he said, pulling Sendak down for one last kiss. “Be careful, and remember what you promised me.”

“I will,” Sendak said, pressing their foreheads together. “I love you, Lotor. Take care of yourself.”

“I will.” He kissed Sendak again, a final goodbye, just in case. They were so close to the end that he could feel it, and it would be cruel for them to fail now, but… 

Sendak slipped away, back through the secret passage, a manifestation of Zarkon’s paranoia. 

Lotor did not cry. He did not have time for tears. The sooner he figured this out, the sooner Sendak would be back in his arms and his bed. 

* * *

“It’s… I feel as though my entire being is more alive,” Allura breathed from the the other chair of the Sincline. 

Lotor could feel it, too. He’d always been able to feel it, in point of fact, a siren call from across the galaxy, following him wherever he went. “It’s...more than I imagined,” he replied. 

It was beautiful. He felt alive and whole and- and  _ home _ , not like he was a stranger here, but like he was being welcomed back. Like he  _ belonged _ . 

When it was time to go, he didn’t want to, but it was for the best. The amount of quintessence they had harvested with this one trip, with one ship, was enough to power the entire Imperial Fleet for almost a year, even at the height of its power. 

When the war was over and he downsized the fleet drastically, that quintessence would stretch so much further. 

He helped Allura down out of the cockpit. She’d been warming up to him a lot, lately, after Oriande, and, after this exquisite experience they had shared…

It was no surprise that she kissed him. 

He didn't love her, yet, not the way he loved Sendak, but that would take time, and this was a good start. A very good start. 

He trusted her, almost the way he trusted Sendak.


	22. Narrative Cruelty

The next thing Lotor knew, he was sitting in the cockpit of a shuttle, next to the Black Paladin.

He had no idea how he’d gotten here.

The lights were too bright -Altean tech usually had bright lights, but this seemed more intense than usual -and even the normally soft hum of the engine made his ears ring.

His head hurt.

His wrists were cuffed together in front of him. Harder to break out of that way. 

“Shiro?” He asked. Shiro wasn’t a friend, but he was maybe the closest thing Lotor had to one, during his time on the Castle. “What’s happening?”

Shiro didn’t respond.

Lotor wanted to study him, but his vision was blurry for some reason.

Had- had he been knocked out? Had something happened in the Rift? 

Was Allura alright?

He had all the classic symptoms of a concussion. What had happened? 

The shuttle landed, and he followed Shiro out, using all his concentration to stay upright. It was hard, and he just wanted to sleep…

And his knee was starting to ache again, too. 

Zethrid and Ezor were waiting for them.

_ Oh no.  _

He spared another glance at Shiro before he was led away. There was nothing in those eyes.

It wasn’t Shiro. Just a mindless thing that looked and acted like him, controlled by- 

By the witch, surely. 

It was all beginning to come back to him.

He remembered:  _ “Allura, please-“ The kiss. Reaching for her hand. “He’s a murderer!” An Altean- _

No,  _ no _ , this couldn’t be happening. Not  _ now _ , not when he was so close, close enough to taste it. If they had just let him explain-

(Would it have helped? None of them really trusted him, even  _ with _ evidence. Without it…)

He halted, the witch standing with her back to him, and he braced himself. 

She turned, and-

She was exactly how he had imagined she would be, but colder. Distant. Uncaring. 

And that… That was almost too much.

* * *

Between his traumatic brain injury and Everything Else, he wasn’t truly aware of the battle with Voltron. 

He remembered trying to peacefully sort it out.

He remembered his generals contradicting him. 

He remembered… saying things he didn’t mean. 

He remembered Allura saying everything she hadn’t said before, everything she did mean but was too afraid to say without the might of Voltron behind her.

He remembered the purifying, rejuvenating light of the quintessence field. 

He remembered Sincline, coming together as they were meant to do, becoming something diametrically opposed to Voltron. Not evil, just as Voltron was neither good nor evil; just different, just something to balance an unopposed force.

Most of all, he remembered what he had promised Sendak. 

That it would be over  _ soon _ . 

Was it meant to end like this? After everything he’d done, everything he’d lost, how could he fail when he was so close? 

He was no innocent, but surely the good he’d tried to do… Surely that had to count for something. 

Had he been doomed to fail from the beginning? Was this some cosmic joke?  _ Look at the mongrel prince, who had to fight and fight and fight for everything he ever got, who only got the smallest moments of happiness, who got only the barest glimpse of what life could be like. _

__ _ Now, let’s see him fail right at the finish line, when it counts. _

He shouldn’t have expected that this would end differently. Every good thing he tried to do turned to dust.

The light consumed all, and Lotor wished he’d been able to tell Sendak that he loved him, just one more time.


	23. All Good Things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ...Must Come To An End

The universe fell apart around him, and there was nothing Sendak could do.

He’d managed to gather the more traditionalist Galra around him, although, in truth, the Fire Of Purification had very little to do with the what the Empire had become under Zarkon. 

Anyone who knew anything about Galra culture would recognize the allusion to legendary, literary, and historical events, and indeed, he, like Lotor, sought to return the Empire to what it had been before the destruction of Daibazaal.

Not entirely, of course; technology had advanced a lot in the last ten thousand years, and there were other things to consider.

Like the fact that the Galra Emperor, his husband, was missing and had been missing for three years. 

He’d last been seen with Voltron. Of course.

So now here Sendak was, out past the edges of the Empire, laying siege to this tiny, defenseless planet, all in the hopes that Voltron would drop everything and return if they found out their home planet was in danger.

Lotor’s assessment seemed to suggest that they would. Ruled by emotion and sentiment, how could they resist?

The worst part was not knowing if Lotor was alright. 

The Flame was still lit, yes, but just because he was  _ alive _ didn’t mean he was  _ well _ . Something was preventing him from returning to the Empire to carry out his duties as Emperor, and-

Lotor was responsible. He wouldn’t just... run away from his duties, his responsibilities. Certainly not without telling Sendak, at the very least. 

So he had to be in some kind of trouble.

The last time Sendak had seen him, he was preparing to enter the Rift and venture into the quintessence field. Had something gone wrong? Was he trapped there? Had he had a falling out with Voltron? 

So. Voltron had to know  _ something _ . 

And they would coming running into his trap. 

* * *

Three years, and finally Voltron resurfaced. 

No Lotor. 

Rumor had it that Lotor had turned on the paladins, that there had been a battle of some kind. 

More rumor smeared him as a liar and a murderer and worse. 

The most reliable sources said that Voltron (and Lotor) had been trapped between realities, in the quintessence field, and it was only now that they (sans Lotor) had managed to escape.

So Sendak didn't need the paladins, did he? Just Voltron. Lotor’s ships were missing with him, and Voltron was the only thing left that could enter the Rift. 

He’d worry about the piloting situation after he had Voltron in his custody. He was still technically working for Haggar, and she wanted Voltron, too. Maybe she could supply pilots (if he ever found out where she’d gotten to); maybe…

But first he had to deal with these meddling  _ children _ . 

* * *

In the end… In the end, it was the fact that they didn’t seem to care that really got to Sendak.

They didn’t care that the universe had fallen apart. 

Lotor’s plans had been such good ones. He’d told them to Sendak the day after they got married, and they’d been good then, but it had been eight thousand years, and he’d only refined his plans over the millennia. 

They seemed to think that having Voltron entitled them to whatever they wanted, the consequences be damned. 

They didn’t care that the state of the universe was their fault. 

He would have left this planet alone the instant they gave him Voltron, but.

They were too stubborn for that. 

He couldn’t go to them and simply ask; Lotor was still alive,  _ somewhere _ , and he needed to maintain his cover. The witch would have to be dealt with eventually. 

But they fought at every turn, and even the deal with Admiral Sanda fell through.

And he just- 

Why was Voltron here, without Lotor? Instead of Lotor? Why had they managed to escape whatever had held them captive for three years, and Lotor hadn’t? 

Had they even tried to help him? Or had they simply turned on him as soon as his usefulness was at an end? 

All Sendak knew was that they were here and Lotor wasn’t, and he’d do whatever he had to do in order to get him back.

And that was all there was to it.

* * *

They didn’t even kill him honorably, stabbing him in the back, allowing only one thought before the darkness took him:  _ Forgive me, my love… _

 


	24. Reborn

He heaved a deep breath, his lungs burning with need, his vision blurring and watering.

It felt almost liked he’d drowned. 

He didn’t cough up any water.

It felt like...rebirth.

Sincline hummed around him, soothing and welcoming.

“Where… What? What happened?” Lotor asked, his voice rasping and grating, like he hadn’t spoken in years. 

_ Play video recording? _

It came flooding back to him in that moment. “No, it’s alright.” He typed at the console, scanning for...anything. A location. Nearby ships.

Voltron.

Or...no, that wasn’t necessary. He felt it, a single bright star in a vast void, galaxies away. 

He felt a lot of things, his sensitivity to quintessence stronger than it ever had been. 

The witch glowed brightly, too, and Allura, and…

There was a void.

A void where his heart should have been.

He understood, suddenly, horribly. 

“ _ No _ !” He screamed, hitting the console. “Haven’t I lost enough?” 

Maybe he just didn’t understand. Maybe… These were new abilities; maybe he wasn’t using it correctly. Maybe it only worked on people who had a connection of some kind to quintessence.

Another part of him protested that; he knew Sendak better than he knew himself. He  _ knew _ . 

Even with all this power flowing through him, the universe seemed dark and empty.

“Find me the nearest Galra fleet,” he told Sincline.

* * *

Sincline came apart once again at his command, two of the ships disappearing, back between realities, accessible only to him, and he boarded the main ship of the fleet he’d found.

It didn’t matter whether they’d supported him or not. 

They looked at him as if they’d seen a ghost.

The third Sincline disappeared as he stepped out, and he was wreathed in quintessence, like an old god, pure power in his veins and nothing in his chest. 

“How long has it been?” He asked.

The commander stammered. “Th-Three years, Your Majesty.”

Three years. 

But he hadn’t died, hadn’t been allowed to die. So he was still the Emperor. 

It didn’t matter, without Sendak. 

“Where is Voltron?”

“They returned to their home planet, Earth,” the commander said. “They destroyed Sendak’s fleet.”

“And Sendak?” He needed to know, needed to confirm what he already knew in his bones. 

“Dead, Sire.”

“Set a course for Earth immediately.” He stalked past all of their kneeling forms. “Send someone to attend me; I must prepare myself for Seclusion.”

They whispered at that, but the commander only nodded. “Yes, Sire.”


	25. Culture Shock

“...Well. That’s not good.” 

Shiro didn’t like hearing that from anyone, but especially not Veronica. “What is it?”

“Sir… There are five Galra fleets, and they seem to be converging on Earth.”

No, that definitely wasn’t good. The Galra seemed to have sworn off attacking Earth months ago, after they destroyed Sendak’s invasion force. So why the change now?

“Open a line to the Garrison,” Shiro said. The Atlas had better long-range scanners, and that was why they were currently stationed in orbit over Earth. Early warning. 

It was too bad the Blades had been mostly wiped out. They didn’t have anyone else inside any of the Galra forces to feed them information.

But at least it wasn’t another of the Altean-powered mechs. 

“Inform me if anything changes,” Shiro added.

“Yes, sir!”

* * *

The fleets stopped out of range of most of Earth’s defenses, excepting Voltron and the Atlas, arrayed defensively.

It struck Allura as odd. 

It was even odder when an envoy was sent, all the way to the Garrison, refusing to meet anywhere else. Refusing to meet, specifically, on the Atlas.

“I come on behalf of Emperor Lotor, the thirty-fourth emperor of the Galra,” he said, when the paladins and other important parts of the team were gathered.

“ _ Lotor! _ ?” She exclaimed, before she could stop herself. “He’s-“

“He has returned to his rightful place,” the envoy said. “I am Captain Urvok, a royal officer of the Galra Empire, and I speak on his behalf while he is in Seclusion.”

“Seclusion?”

“ _ Seclusion _ ?” Kolivan asked, with a completely different inflection. He sounded almost...surprised.

“If I may deliver his message,” Urvok said. 

“Please,” Allura said. 

“Emperor Lotor is willing to agree to a ceasefire while he is in Seclusion, should his requests be met.”

“Excuse me, but what, exactly, is ‘seclusion’?” Lance asked, just as Allura had been about to. She remembered hearing the word whispered meaningfully a few times when she was young, but…

“Seclusion is a period of mourning, usually undertaken after the death of a spouse or a child,” Kolivan answered. “Who does Emperor Lotor mourn?”

“His husband,” Urvok replied. “If I could-“

“ _ Husband? _ ” Allura hissed. He’d been  _ married _ ? 

“He respectfully requests that the body of his husband, the late Commander Sendak, be-“

The room devolved into chaos. 

“He’s lying!” Pidge shouted immediately. “This is a- a trick. Lotor can’t be trusted. I said so all along. We can’t-“

Allura was inclined to agree with her. 

“This is not something he would lie about,” Kolivan said coolly. “I know that your knowledge of Galra culture and custom is rudimentary at best, but this is not something any Galra would lie about. Especially not one who needed the Empire on his side. If he were caught lying about this, every Galra would turn against him instantly.”

It was the longest speech Kolivan had ever given. 

“He’s not full Galra,” Allura said. She hated that fact; it all would have been easier if he was. “Are you sure-?”

“Yes,” Kolivan said flatly. “Marriage is a- a sacred thing. To lie about it…” 

“Captain Urvok, if we might have a moment?” Allura said. They needed to discuss this, badly, and she didn’t want to do it with this envoy here.

“I am almost done with my message,” Urvok said. “If I may?”

She nodded.

“He will give you three days to consider his request, and if his husband’s body is not returned to him, then he will turn this planet into his funeral pyre.” He bowed, and turned sharply on his heel, to be escorted somewhere where he could await their verdict.

“Resorting to threats already,” Pidge muttered. 

“Ok, first of all,” Lance began, “how the fuck is Lotor back? Didn’t we kick his ass so hard he just kinda-?” He made some sort of hand gesture. 

“Quintessence is life,” Allura said. “We-  _ I _ -should have considered this possibility.” 

“It’s not all on you,” Keith said. “I made the final call.”

“We should be careful dealing with him,” Shiro said thoughtfully. “We know that Zarkon didn’t come back from the Rift the same as he went in.”

“We shouldn’t deal with him at all,” Romelle said heatedly. “He’s a murderer!”

“We don’t have a choice,” Allura said with a sigh. “He’s returned to the throne. Kolivan, explain to me how Seclusion works.”

Kolivan’s ears flicked. “He will remain in Seclusion until the funeral. Traditionally, wars are put on hold, or even ended, if the Emperor is in Seclusion, and he has already put forth an offer of a ceasefire.”

“I want to- to speak to him,” Allura said. “Could I-?”

Kolivan shook his head. “Not until after. He will see no one, except his chosen representative, until after the funeral. And… If I may speak frankly, Princess, I do not think he would want to speak to any of the paladins, anyway.”

“Of course,” she said, “but this is a- a war, and we can’t just… because his secret husband that no one knew about is dead.” 

“Galra care deeply about their spouses. Zarkon tore the universe apart out of grief for his wife. I do not doubt that his son would not do something similar for his husband. Any Galra would.”

“That’s- that’s ridiculous! That’s-“

“That is part of our culture, Princess. A foundational part,” Kolivan said coldly. 

“Ok, but how did we know Haggar isn’t behind this somehow? I mean,” Hunk said, “couldn’t she like, reanimate the body or something? Sendak was scary enough, but imagine a Sendak zombie. Holy crow, I’m gonna have nightmares.”

“No Galra would allow the body of their spouse to be used in such a fashion,” Kolivan said. “It would be best to allow him to mourn properly, and return Sendak’s body to him.”

“That...might be an issue,” Shiro said. “Some of the scientists were really interested in having an opportunity to, ah…  _ study- _ “

“And we’ve fought off one Galra invasion already,” Lance said. “We’ll do this as many times as we have to.” 

Kolivan pinched the bridge of his nose. “To refuse to allow Lotor to take custody of his husband’s body would be a major insult to all Galra. Our marriage and funeral rites are old, much older than the Empire, and all Galra would feel disrespected if the Coalition does not honor our traditions.”

“What are you saying, Kolivan?” Allura asked.

He sighed. “The Blade of Marmora was founded with the intent of returning the Galra to our old traditions. Our pre-Zarkon traditions. To so blatantly fly in the face of that would be...unconscionable, and I know that many Galra who have joined the Coalition, Blade of Marmora or otherwise, would find it difficult to remain.”

“Let us consider, then. We have three days.” 


	26. Proof

With the threat of the remainder of the Blade, along with the other Galra, leaving, ultimately, there was no choice.

Assuming, of course, that Lotor wasn’t lying. 

“How do we even know he’s telling the truth?” Allura asked. “No one even knew about this until now, and while Kolivan says Lotor wouldn’t lie about this, I have my doubts.”

Urvok ducked his head. “He didn’t think you would believe him at his word either. He sent a video recording with me. May I?”

“Please do,” Allura said.

Urvok did a few things with his wrist device, and a video began playing on the large holographic display.

_ “...make it official. For us, at least.”  _

__ The scenery was beautiful, a huge red sun setting over a valley of some sort.

In the foreground, Lotor looked up at Sendak with such a tangible look of love in his eyes…

Lotor wore the gray-and-red of his father; he must have developed his own armor later. He looked more or less the same, other than being so  _ happy _ it was almost contagious. 

Sendak looked much younger; the war must have weighed heavily on him. He was almost handsome, even, Allura admitted privately. 

Sendak took both of Lotor’s hands in his, and Lotor never flinched at Sendak’s prosthetic -a smaller, older model; he just smiled and nodded, cuing Sendak to begin. 

_ “In the sight of all the stars in the sky,” _ he started,  _ “I ask, with all that I have to offer, that you accept me and take me as your husband, from this day forward, through all the trials we may face, through hardship and prosperity, through flood and drought and fire, until the last star burns out.” _

_ “What is it that you have to offer?” _ Lotor asked softly, but confidently. 

_ “My sword is yours, drawn first in your defense. My wealth is yours, providing first for your needs. My heart, most of all, is yours, at your mercy, for you to do with as you will.” _

_ “I accept your offer,” _ Lotor replied.  _ “I will stand at your side, to defend when you cannot, to provide when you cannot, through all the trials we may face. What has been said to one has been said to both of us, for, in the sight of all the stars in the sky, I accept you and take you as my husband. My heart is yours, from this day forward until the last star burns out.” _

__ _ “I, Commander Sendak, accept the duties and responsibilities of marriage. Your honor is mine. Let me show no mercy to those who seek to tear us asunder.” _

__ _ “I, Prince Lotor, accept the duties and responsibilities of marriage. Your honor is mine. Let me show no mercy to those who seek to tear us asunder.” _

Sendak picked Lotor up, kissing him, whirling him around like something out of one of Earth’s “romcoms”. 

_ “I love you,” _ Lotor said, so softly that the camera almost didn’t pick it up. 

He looked so...happy? 

Had she ever seen him so happy? 

She’d thought, maybe, that he just wasn’t that emotive. That he hid his feelings.

And maybe he did, with everyone else, but it was clear-

“I’ve seen enough,” she said abruptly. 

Urvok turned the video off. 

“Is that what Galra marriage ceremonies are like?” Allura asked Kolivan.

”Yes.”

”There was no- no officiant, no witnesses. Surely it can’t be legally binding?”

“Most modern ceremonies have officiants, but they are not necessary. As for witnesses, camera drones have been used as witnesses for contracts and crimes for several millennia now.”

”So it’s legit,” Lance said. 

“It is binding.”

”It was beautiful,” Hunk said, wiping his eyes. “Now I feel really bad. I completely retract what I said about zombies.”

”So…” Keith said thoughtfully. “Sendak wanted Voltron, right? Maybe he figured out that we left Lotor in the Rift, and he knew that Voltron was the only thing he could use to get him back.”

”He could have asked,” Pidge huffed.

”Like we would have let him have Voltron,” Lance said. “Especially just so he could get Lotor, of all people, back.” 

“Yeah, well, he didn’t have to fuck up Earth, either.”

”In the eyes of the Galra, Sendak’s actions would be completely justified, as are any actions the Emperor takes to recover his husband’s body,” Kolivan said. 

“So we should just give in to his demands?” Pidge asked.

“It’s a negotiation,” Keith said. “He’s offering us a ceasefire, right, and maybe if we give him time to mourn, then…”

“Keith’s got a point,” Shiro said. “He hasn’t done anything so far.”

Allura grimaced. “I…don’t have a good feeling about this, but… It seems he is succeeding in reunifying the Galra, and that presents a...potentially dangerous force. We should avoid antagonizing him further until we know what his plans are.”

“I shall inform the Emperor,” Urvok said. 

“We will prepare the body,” Kolivan said. 

* * *

“Sire?” Urvok said, rapping on the door frame.

The room was dark enough that it was difficult to make much out of the gloom.

“Captain.” The Emperor’s voice was low and raspy.

“They have agreed. Your husband will be delivered in the morning.”

“Thank you, Captain.” 

There was no emotion in that voice, and that was...eerie. Seeing the Emperor emerge from his ship, only for it to dissolve into nothingness behind him already lent him a mysterious air. The three-year absence, the complete lack of inflection… That was something else entirely. 

“Sire, is there anything else you need?”

The Emperor laughed hollowly. “Nothing you nor anyone else could give me. That will be all, Urvok.”

Urvok, suddenly consumed by the terror prey animals must feel when they were pursued, fled. 


	27. Seclusion

Lotor had never seen the point of Seclusion before. A month, a year, a decade spent alone in mourning wouldn’t change anything. It wouldn’t bring anyone back. 

He was glad of it now. 

He had a month to let the sharp pain of his heartbreak heal, a month where he wasn’t required to speak to anyone or do anything, except mourn.

He didn’t need to sleep anymore, or eat, or anything else, and maybe if he’d had that routine to fall into, things would have been easier. 

Or maybe he would have wasted away into nothing, and then… 

But he hadn’t been allowed to die in the Rift, and he wasn’t allowed to die now. 

Sendak wouldn’t have wanted that anyway. Sendak would want him to carry on, manifest all those glorious dreams he’d had.

He read reports, in an effort to distract himself. He was already three years behind; he couldn’t let himself fall another month behind. 

The universe had fallen apart in his absence. 

Sendak would have stepped up, if he could have, but he must have had faith that Lotor would return, somehow, and he’d held onto his false alliance with the witch until the end. 

There had been no one else to take Lotor’s place, even temporarily. He hadn’t gotten around to naming an heir, in case something happened to him, and perhaps it had been hubris for him to think that he wouldn’t have needed one so soon.

He could not have anticipated…

And yet he had not died, so no Kral Zera had been called, no new Emperor selected. 

Perhaps it would have been better if he had died; then Sendak would have triumphed at the Kral Zera, and he would be the Emperor, carrying out Lotor’s plans. He’d promised, after all. 

(He’d promised that he’d be careful, too.)

The Empire had devolved into lawlessness. 

His return was fixing that; most Galra factions had rejoined after his near-miraculous return, and the rest had rejoined after word got out about his marriage. Even if Sendak was dead, they saw his willingness to marry one of Zarkon’s inner circle as a sort of...reconciliation. 

So a large part of the Empire was back under his control. 

There was little he could do while he was in Seclusion, but after the funeral… Things would change. For the better, he hoped.

* * *

It was an effort to not immediately break down when they carried Sendak’s body in. 

He wasn’t required to speak to anyone, so he didn’t, just watched as they laid Sendak’s shroud-covered body out on the slab.

They left, with soft condolences, and he nodded absently.

As always, he only had eyes for Sendak.

He fell to his knees beside the slab, finding Sendak’s hand underneath the shroud and taking it in both of his. 

A small, cold comfort, but it was the best he was going to get. 

It was that thought that had him letting out the sobs that had been building since he left the Rift, hard and destructive and pathetic. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I-“ It was hard to get the words out, between his sobs, and Sendak wouldn’t hear anyway, but he had to say it, just as much as he’d had to tell Sendak that he loved him, that first time. “It wasn’t supposed to end like this, my darling.” 

His newly-sharpened senses caught the smell of the chemicals they’d used to embalm Sendak’s body. It was...terrible; how dare they touch his husband, desecrate his body, even, after they killed him? Couldn’t they leave well enough alone?

And he knew, from Urvok, that they had considered not returning his body.

“It wasn’t supposed to be like this, Sendak. We were so close… We were so close, and you believed in me, and this was your reward. You deserved better than this, my darling.

”I would avenge you, if I could, but there must be peace in this universe, for the first time in a very long time, and they wouldn’t understand. The cycle must end with me, my darling, and I hope that you will forgive me. You believed in me from the beginning until the end, and no words could ever express what that meant to me. I hope that you knew, anyway. I tried to show you, and I- I am not always good at that, but… I think maybe you had some idea. I hope you did.”


	28. Star-Crossed

Only three ships left, following the return of Sendak’s body to Lotor’s care, the flagship and two escorts.

“I guess he doesn’t think there’ll be trouble between here and wherever he’s going,” Keith said, looking at the charts.

”It’s all held by the Empire,” Shiro said. “He even managed to rally several pirate fleets to his side.”

“Do we even know where he’s going?”

“It’s possible he’s going to Feyiv,” Kolivan said, studying the charts. “The funeral pyres of Emperors and their consorts have traditionally been lit by the same flame that they lit on the day of their coronation.”

“Metal,” Lance said.

“Sendak was never his official consort, but I believe he will chose to honor him in this fashion,” Kolivan continued, ignoring Lance’s interruption. “It’s...unorthodox, but it will only solidify his position.”

“How’s that?” Keith asked. “I mean… The Empire does kind of have problems with hybrids, and he’s… Plus, Sendak was heading, you know, the Fire of Purification.”

Kolivan huffed something almost like a laugh. “It’s an allusion to a mythicized event of significant cultural importance to the Galra as a whole. It would be reductive to say that it was about  _ racial _ purity at all.”

“And there are the...optics, to consider,” Krolia said. “The trope of star-crossed lovers features heavily within Galra literature and art. It’s considered to be quite romantic. He could not have done this better if he planned it.”

“And you think he didn’t?” Shiro asked.

“No one plans on losing their husband,” Krolia said quietly.

“And then there’s this,” Pidge said, barging in with her laptop. A video was queued up, and she set it down on the table and pressed play.

It was immediately obvious what it was, to everyone watching. 

It was cockpit footage from the battle between Voltron and Sincline.

From Lotor’s cockpit.

“Stop it,” Allura said shakily. 

“Where did that even come from?” Keith asked.

“It’s everywhere,” Pidge said. “He must have...leaked it, or something. I mean, I guess it’s better than having that wedding broadcast on all frequencies constantly, but…”

“This does not cast Voltron in the most positive light,” Kolivan said. 

Understatement. 

“He’s trying to make us look like we’re the bad guys,” Lance said. “But whatever, right? I mean, it doesn’t really look good for him, either.” 

“It looks like he was arguing for peace,” Shiro said. “And that Voltron was against him.”

“We don’t need him,” Pidge insisted. “We have Voltron. No one’s seen Sincline since he came back, right? So, maybe…”

“We’ll have to meet with the Coalition,” Allura said with a sigh. “I fear we’ve made too many unilateral decisions; they aren’t happy about that, and I doubt they’ll be happy about this, either.”

“Who cares! Lotor is a bad guy,” Pidge yelled. “Romelle wouldn’t just lie about that, would she?”

“She might not have lied,” Shiro said, “but she might not have the whole story either. Lotor does control most of the Empire again, and Haggar is still out there. We may need his help with her.”

“I can take on Haggar,” Allura said darkly. “We don’t need Lotor.”

* * *

The voyage to Feyiv went smoothly. Lotor hadn’t expected otherwise; he just wished he didn’t have to make it under these circumstances.

He remembered how he’d promised Sendak that they would have a real wedding one day. He’d hoped… 

He hadn’t left Sendak’s side during the voyage. They should have been happy, making last-minute wedding arrangements, making the bridge crew mildly uncomfortable with their displays of affection, talking late into the night…

Instead, his chest felt hollowed out, empty. Everything was meaningless, now, and it was like he had nothing to live for.

But. He was the Emperor, and he had a responsibility, first to the Empire, and second to the universe at large. Sendak had liked his strong sense of duty, and he would not now go back on that, just because…

Feyiv was a cold planet, constantly wreathed in clouds; it made landing an ordeal on the clearest days.

Today, the day of the funeral, it was clearer than clear, a sad cruel irony. Lotor wanted the sky to open up, grieve with him. He wanted all the universe to feel his pain-

But no. He wasn’t his father. 

Others spoke about Sendak, words that Lotor heard but couldn’t make sense of. It didn’t matter. Sendak was only really himself with Lotor; the man they spoke of was not Lotor’s husband. 

But he was dead either way. 

Lotor spoke last, as Sendak’s spouse. He didn’t want to say anything too personal here, in front of all these people, and he’d already said the things he’d needed to say. “I loved him. I love him. I gave him my heart, and it is still his; a part of me will go with him, to whatever follows.”

A passage from an old epic, but appropriate.

Someone handed Lotor a torch, and he lit the pyre, wishing, just for a moment, that he could follow Sendak. But he couldn’t. 

“Wait for me, darling,” Lotor said quietly, tears streaming down his face. “There is work to be done, but one day we will be together. Haven’t I promised you that?” 

* * *

Lotor had waited until the ashes stopped smoldering completely, waited for them to be gathered up and handed off to him. 

It was small consolation. 

The planet they’d been married on had been consumed by its sun two millennia ago; otherwise, he would have spread the ashes there, on the bluff where they’d said their vows. It had been such a beautiful sight…

There was nowhere else. Lotor’s bases had all been destroyed in the witch’s targeted attack, and anyway, they weren’t appropriate places for this sort of thing. 

When Lotor died, he’d have their ashes mingled, and spread over the remains of Daibazaal, perhaps, where this whole sad mess had started. 

For now, he set the urn on the bedside table and cried into his hands, desperately wishing that Sendak was here to comfort him.

He wasn’t, and he never would be again, and Lotor’s time in Seclusion was at an end, so there was nothing left to do but pull himself together.

He showered, first, staying under the water longer than he really needed to, as if the hot water could wash his grief away.

After, he stood in front of the mirror, nude, examining himself. The Rift had changed him. It wasn’t just the quintessence that pulsed through his body with every breath he didn’t need.

Mirrored red stripes cut down both cheeks, nearly identical to the marks that witch had borne, the last time he’d seen her. 

His scars -from battles, from surgeries, from accidents -were all gone, his skin as unmarred as a newborn’s. 

The Rift had even given back the nictitating membranes he’d had removed. They were in perfect working order now, smoothing sliding across his cornea, a protective layer that made his eyes seem pupil-less when they were fully closed.

It was a cruel irony that his body had never been in better working order than it was now, when he felt so empty inside. 

He dressed carefully; this was his first official appearance since the end of his Seclusion, and he needed to make a good impression.

It was time.


	29. The First Steps

Lotor had studied the Altean Teleduv technology extensively. It was a marvelous piece of engineering, able to take quintessence from a single Altean and magnify their power enough to tear holes in space.

After what, to him, felt like eons in the Rift, Lotor didn’t need a teleduv. He was saturated, and Sincline had been built to gather and hold many more times the amount of quintessence it actually needed to run. 

He stood now on the bridge, the hole where his heart had been still aching, but healing, slowly. He was ready, now, to continue the work he needed to do.

He opened a wormhole easily -he’d never done this before, but he was filled now with a confidence in his abilities he’d never had before -and directed his ships through.

He went all over the Empire, to the planets his father had so poorly mismanaged. 

He offered them freedom. 

He outlawed slavery, he abolished forced production minimums, he emptied mining colonies, he paid reparations from the Imperial coffers. 

He negotiated with the planets that wanted complete and total freedom, developing strategies so that their societies would not collapse as he pulled Imperial forces out. 

Some planets wanted to stay, despite the thousands of years of occupation, and those he turned into protectorates. They would be completely free to govern as they would, perish or prosper on their own. They would simply pay taxes (very, very low taxes) and in return, the Empire would defend them against their foes.

Some planets stayed under the banner of the Empire. Planets that only ever had Galra; planets where the native population had died out under Galra occupation; planets that called themselves Galra, even if they were not, genetically, Galra.

Those planets were very few and far between, but, as one delegation had explained to him, it was more about the ideals that Galra espoused: honor, dignity, mental fortitude, inner strength, tenacity…

And Lotor...couldn’t argue with them. Those oppressed under Zarkon had come to see the Galra as a “race of bloodthirsty murderers” but that wasn’t accurate. Not really. 

There were bad Galra, of course. They had thrived and prospered under Zarkon’s reign. But not all -or even most -Galra were like that. 

So. It was time to change the perception of Galra all over the universe, within and without the Empire. 

It was time to become something else, something new, and it started with him. 

* * *

He descended on Oriande with an armada.

Of course the witch had desecrated even this most sacred of places, destroying the protections that kept all but the chosen few out. 

And...even if she hadn’t, with the amount of quintessence flowing through his veins, it wouldn’t have mattered. 

He needed no escort here. She was powerless against him now.

He gathered the people that now inhabited this place before him, and he spoke to them, his voice carrying, even if it was no louder than it had ever been.

“Fellow Alteans,” he began. “I bring good news, and I bring bad news. I am alive, and I have returned, and the tyrant Zarkon, who was my father, is dead. 

“The woman who brought you here claims to be Honerva, the wife of Zarkon, and she is. She claims to be my mother, and she is. 

“But she is also Haggar, the tyrant’s witch. She has committed countless atrocities, and one of the worst she has visited upon you.”

He spoke of the blackmail and manipulation. He spoke of her experimentation, her quest for knowledge and power regardless of the cost. He spoke of the secondary facility and its rows upon rows of Alteans drained of quintessence. 

“I apologize for lying to you. I apologize for being unable to stop it. And I apologize for letting her use you to attain her own goals under my name. She wishes to end Voltron, and she has used my disappearance at its hands as justification to go to war. 

“But I have returned, and I have lived through ten thousands years of war, and now it is time for peace. I will unite the Altean and Galra peoples under a single banner, if you will have me.”

The crowd’s cheers were anwer enough.


	30. Forgiveness

The witch came crawling back to him.

He’d expected it. 

He received her in the throne room, the grand echoing hall he only seldom used. 

(Those aboard the flagship knew they could come seek him out directly if they had a concern, and he would either take the time to hear them out immediately, or he would schedule time for it later, if it was a more complicated issue. The Alteans had no issues with the arrangement, and the Galra were coming around to it, slowly. It helped that he hadn’t had anyone executed for petty reasons; he wasn’t his father.)

But the witch… He wanted the trappings of the throne around him when she came to him, a reminder to both of them of what he was and what he had become. 

“My son,” she said, bowing just marginally, “it fills me with such pride to see you here-“

“Haggar,” he said coldly. “What do you want?”

“Want?” She asked. “I want nothing, except to congratulate my son on his victories, and to apologize for my ill advised actions.”

“Your crimes, you mean? No apology could ever make up for all the death and destruction you have caused. My father was a tyrant, yes, but it was you who perfected the komar, you who turned the last sanctuary of the Altean people into a- a supply line for your vile experiments, you who has the gall to come here and refer to me as your son when I want less than nothing to do with you.”

“My son-“

“You are a criminal and a monster, and you have no right to claim to be my mother now, when you never wanted anything to do with me unless it helped you attain your goals. I needed a mother! But you were never there for me, and you never will be. I don’t care what kind of ‘transformation’ you went through on Oriande; ten thousand years of your careless sadism will not be forgotten, and it can never be forgiven. Your trial is in the morning.”

She tried lashing out, but her power was insignificant compared to his. It took nothing at all to restrain her. “Try that again, and we’ll skip right to sentencing.”

He stalked out, overwrought and angry.

“ _ Lotor _ ! Lotor,  _ please- _ !” 

* * *

In the end, the jury settled upon banishment. Lotor was glad he wasn’t part of that process. He was too close to it, too angry, too... _ guilty _ . 

He knew he shouldn’t have been guilty, but he was, as if it was somehow his fault that his own mother couldn’t love him. Even now, after her transformation, there was no warmth in her eyes, no love or affection. 

It wouldn’t have mattered, even if she could genuinely love him now. She had done such terrible things… Permanent banishment was a mild punishment, compared to what she deserved.

She asked for him, but he refused to go, and then, her powers stripped from her, she was on her way, and he would never have to see her again. 

It was a hollow victory, as they all were now. 

But… She would never hurt anyone else. If she left the deserted planet that would be her new home, her life was forfeit. 

Now it was time to turn to the other dangerous, uncontrollable force in the universe: Voltron. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is2g if the writers end up having Lotor forgive Haggar/Honerva for all the shit she’s done (not just to him, but in general) I am going to combust.


	31. Local Children Fuck Up; Consequences To Follow

“So… I think I figured out how old the video of the, uh, marriage is,” Pidge said, adjusting her glasses. “I had to cross-reference the visible stars against all the databases we have access to, taking into account Lotor’s uniform and the model of that prosthetic, but…”

“Well, how old is it?” Keith asked.

“Eight thousand years old, give or take,” she said. “I mean… I even figured out that planet it was taken on, and it doesn’t even exist anymore. Its sun was turning into a red giant, and well…”

“Damn, I can’t imagine being married to anyone for eight thousand years,” Lance said, “much less Sendak. That guy was a jerk.”

“You’d have to find someone to marry you in the first place,” Pidge said. 

“Rude,” Lance griped. 

“Now that we have this information,” Allura broke in, “what do we do with it?”

“I...don’t know. I guess… I was trying to see if we could authenticate it, I guess,” Pidge said. “It...doesn’t make sense. Sendak was Zarkon’s right-hand man. So why-?”

“He was Lotor’s inside man,” Keith said. “You have to admit that it’s pretty impressive. That’s much higher up than any of the Blades managed.”

“And yet even in eight thousand years, they made even less headway against Zarkon than the Blade of Marmora did,” Allura said. “Even if this is a real marriage, even if they were working together to bring Zarkon down… Did they actually accomplish anything?”

“I guess it doesn’t matter,” Shiro said. “It’s in the past, and Sendak is dead. We have the latest fleet movements, though, and we should look at those.”

He brought them up on the display. “There’s nothing out of the ordinary, except this: one ship broke off from Lotor’s main fleet, went to this planet, and came immediately back.”

“What’s on that planet?” Keith asked. “Maybe it was a supply stop or something.”

“I checked the database,” Shiro said. “There’s nothing there. At least, there’s not supposed to be anything there.”

“Nothing at all?” Allura asked. “Are you sure?”

“Pretty sure. No uncommon metals or minerals, no sentient life…”

“Well, those databases are ten thousand years old,” Keith said. “It’s possible…”

“And Coran has finished retrofitting the Atlas with a Teleduv,” Allura said thoughtfully. “We could check it out, without the fleets patrolling this system ever knowing.”

“It could be important,” Keith said. “We should do it.”

* * *

 

The planet was not lushly green, but neither was it completely barren. 

“I’ve completed the BLIP scan,” Veronica said. “There’s only one life sign on the whole planet.”

“We’ll go down in our Lions,” Keith said. “Captain?”

“We’ll stay in orbit if you need backup,” Shiro said. “Be careful down there.”

The flight down to the planet’s surface was easy; the Lions made always made it easy. 

A rudimentary camp had been set up, and they approached cautiously, their Bayards at the ready.

A woman was there, all alone, her back to them. And at their approach, she turned.

Everyone froze in surprise. 

“ _ Haggar _ ?” Allura said finally.

“I went by that name once,” she said. “For too long, perhaps. But please, call me Honerva.”

“So you’re-?”

“Free of the corruption that over-exposure to quintessence can produce, yes. I am myself, once again. Did- did my son send you?”

“Lotor? No, we… What are you doing here?” 

“He banished me,” she said. “He banished me to this lonely, desolate place. He… He’s becoming his father. He needs help. And he needs a mother’s love.”

* * *

In the end… Maybe Honerva was right. She seemed genuine. After all, she was his mother; surely she would want what was best for him. 

She’d warned them that Lotor had threatened to have her killed if she went directly to him, but of course they couldn’t leave her here, so…

So she went back to Earth with them. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case it wasn’t clear, Team Voltron just fucked up Big Time.


	32. Greater Good

The Atlas and Voltron were gone when Lotor’s fleet reached Earth. 

It was probably better that way, anyway. He did not particularly want to speak to Voltron ever again, if he could manage it. Perhaps it was petty, but they were responsible for his husband’s death, among other things. 

He was not required to be charitable to them, but neither did he want to start another war; he just wanted to end this one and be done with it. Focus on other things. 

He wouldn’t enjoy peace, exactly, but then, it was difficult to enjoy anything these days. And he wasn’t doing this for himself anyway. 

If it was for the greater good, he could withstand anything.

The delegation he chose to come with him was equally Galra and Altean, five of each, all chosen for their level-headedness and diplomatic skill. All armed, of course; he wasn’t going to put himself in a situation where he was at the mercy of anyone else ever again. 

So he met with the Coalition leaders. 

They were somewhat more reasonable than the paladins, but then… They’d lived under his father’s rule. They knew what that had been like, and they knew how much work he’d put into making the Empire a better place.

Perhaps he wasn’t perfect. Perhaps he wasn’t an innocent. 

But he tried. 

(If only he’d had Voltron… By the time he’d built Sincline, it was too late to avert so many tragedies. But if he’d had Voltron…)

So things went very smoothly, right up until Voltron returned. 

* * *

“What is he doing here?” Allura hissed. The Galra blockade of Earth was nothing new, but  _ fucking Lotor _ showing up sure was. 

They were still on the Atlas, still in orbit, speaking with Kolivan through the comms. 

“Princess Allura, there is something you should know, before you return to Earth. This may come as a...shock, to you, and-“

“What is it, Kolivan? What could possibly be worse than anything he has already done!”

“He has united the Galra Empire and the Altean Colony.”

“ _ Excuse me!? _ ” 

“He claims the title of ‘Emperor of the Altean-Galra Empire’.”

“He can’t do that!”

“He already has. I’m not sure that you could stop him.”

“Of course we can,” she hissed. “We have Voltron. And,” she added a little more calmly, “we have his mother.”

Kolivan’s face betrayed no emotion, but she imagined he was...disapproving, perhaps. Or proud. It was impossible to tell, so she was going to believe that he was proud. 

“We will land soon,” Allura said. “Will he meet with us?”

“I’m sure he would be delighted,” Kolivan said, possibly sarcastically. 

* * *

Lotor was coldly disaffected, his eyes sweeping over the paladins of Voltron as if they were strangers. 

He was different now, the lightning-strike Altean marks so similar to Honerva’s that there was no mistaking their familial connection. His eyes were pupil-less now, perhaps from his time in the quintessence field. 

If he’d been closed off and distant before, he might as well have been half a universe away now.

“Princess Allura,” he said, “Black Paladin. Paladins of Voltron. Captain Shirogane.” There was no inflection in his voice, making him seem almost...dead, inside. He was not angry, he was not sad, he was not happy… There was just nothing there, nothing at all, nothing to make him seem like the mortal man he had to be.

(Or was he... _ other _ now?) 

“The Coalition has ended today’s session,” he continued, “as I am sure Kolivan has told you. My delegation has expressed interest in meeting you, in particular, Princess, along with the rest of the Paladins of Voltron.”

“Your...delegation,” Allura said flatly. 

“We are simply here to negotiate peace between our factions, and as soon as that is accomplished, we will return to the bounds of the Empire, to rebuild all that has fallen into ruin.”

“To fix your own mistakes, and the mistakes of your father, you mean.” 

“I would not claim to be perfect,” Lotor said. 

Devoid of all tone, it was difficult to say if he meant it as a slight or not. Should she take his words on face value? Or was he insinuating that she claimed to be perfect? 

“Please excuse me,” he said at last, turning away, a Galra officer falling in behind him. 

“That was...not what I expected,” Lance said.

Allura could only agree. 

* * *

Allura managed to corner two Altean members of Lotor’s “delegation”: Siromme and Varlan.

”Princess,” they both greeted, bowing their heads politely. 

“We have heard stories of your father,” Siromme added.

Allura really only had one question. “Why Lotor? Don’t you know about the second Colony, how that was a lie? Why would you follow him?”

It was strange enough to actually be speaking to two living Alteans, right here and now, when she’d thought… 

The Alteans exchanged glances. “Princess… Emperor Lotor had no hand in those vile experiments. Do you really think that we would follow such a man? It is true that he scoured the universe in his youth, searching for every last Altean, providing our ancestors with safety on a remote planet beyond the Quantum Abyss. It is true that we have honored him for generations for the things he has done for us. It is true that some of our people were periodically chosen to go to a second colony,” Varlan said. “But he has sworn to us that he had no hand in in the despicable acts that took place there.”

“And you believe him?” Allura asked incredulously.

”We have found and punished the real culprit. Zarkon’s witch, once called Honerva. Truly terrible, that it was one of our own… Alas,” Siromme said.

“Honerva?” Allura asked. “Are you sure?”

“Credible evidence was presented. And she admitted it in open court.”

“You aren’t saying that Honerva, an Altean, did such a thing to other Alteans?” Allura suddenly felt a little sick. 

“Are you saying that crime was non-existent on Lost Altea?” Varlan asked. “Every sentient being is capable of crime. It is tragic what happened, yes, but denying the truth of it would be far worse. Perhaps it would be simple to reduce this to Galra aggression against our nearly-defenseless populace, but it isn’t true.”

“Lotor is a liar,” Allura said. “A liar and the son of Zarkon. How can you follow him?”

Siromme frowned. “Do we now judge a man on the actions of his father? What happened to Lost Altea is tragic, too, Princess, but Lotor’s actions then saved the last remnants of our people. Where were you?”

“I-“

Varlan did not give her time to formulate a response. “Would you prefer that we follow you, Princess? Altea is lost; what are you princess of? We know Lotor, and he has already provided so much for us; we don’t know you, Princess. What have you done for us? Lotor does not simply preach peace; he acts to promote it.”

“I- We have Voltron. And… And do you not consider this a betrayal of Lost Altea? Of my father’s vision?”

Siromme and Varlan exchanged glances again, and finally Siromme answered. “It is Alfor’s fault that Altea was destroyed in the first place. If you still share his vision, we cannot follow you into continued chaos, Princess.” 


	33. Local Man Has Had Enough

Lotor went armed into the next session. Voltron was back, and he would not put himself at their mercy once again. 

Actually, as it happened, Voltron was representing the Coalition today, along with Shiro and Kolivan. It gave Lotor the advantage of numbers, but surely Voltron was confident enough that they could claim victory if it came to a fight.

Lotor didn’t want it to, but he was trying to be pragmatic; Voltron had a habit of escalating things beyond a reasonable level.

He wasn’t even sure he could be killed, but he was armed anyway. 

“I am the leader of the Coalition,” Allura said haughtily. “No negotiations should have been started without me.”

“The Coalition has different views on the matter,” Lotor said. “You may have Voltron, but what will you do if and when the Coalition decides to go against your will?”

“We would talk,” Allura said. “Come to an agreement.”

”And if by some freak accident your words alone were not enough? What would you do then, Princess? Would you force them? You have Voltron, after all. Could you not bend them to your will? Would they do as you said, even if they didn’t agree with it, out of fear of retribution?”

“You’re making us seem like the bad guys,” the Red Paladin said. 

Lotor didn’t dignify that with a response. “That’s what my father would have done. I’m sure you know that.”

”And that’s what you would have done, too, right?” The Green Paladin spat. 

“I am not my father,” Lotor replied. “I do not rule through fear. If you bothered to look at what I am doing, you would see that.”

“What do you want from us?” Allura asked, trying to steer the conversation in a productive direction.

“Peace,” Lotor said. “I do not remember a time in my life without war, and I am tired of it. I believe I speak for most of the universe when I say that. Most of the Coalition, certainly; I have already spoken to the other representatives in your absence. All I require is your cooperation.”

“Our cooperation!?” The Green Paladin asked incredulously. “You’re a murderer! A genocidal maniac, and we-”

“The first move in this war was made by King Alfor; perhaps it is fitting that the last is made by his daughter,” Lotor said, completely ignoring the outburst. His opinion of the Green Paladin had not changed. 

“The first move-?” Allura began. “You mean closing the Rift on Daibazaal?”

“An action that was not effective. An action that displaced the entire Galra populace. An action my father was able to turn to his advantage. He was the better strategist, despite his many, many faults. But that is ancient history, Princess Allura. For now… I simply wish to end the hostilities that have plagued our universe for the last ten thousand years.”

“And how would you do that? Would you have us ally with you?”

“Nothing so distasteful to your sensibilities. Simply stay out of my way.”

“Stay out of your way!” The Red Paladin threw his hands up. “Yeah, sure, we’ll get right on that. Just sit on the sidelines as you continue to fuck up the entire fucking universe, which, let’s see, your husband started for you, because guess what! You’re both fucking assholes!”

* * *

Lance did go too far sometimes; Allura was willing to admit that.

Now,  though… This was bad. This was very bad.

Lotor was dead silent for a very long, tense moment, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. Very quietly, he asked, “How long did you spend in the quintessence field, Paladin? How much time did you experience while you were in the field?”

They were all wary of this sudden shift; even Lance seemed to know that he had gone too far. “I dunno. Not long. We...got out of there pretty quickly after…”

“So let’s say ten minutes. Let’s say you spent ten minutes in the field, total. That final battle wasn’t very long. And when it ended, you left. You left me. Do you know how much time I experienced in the field? Please, take a guess.”

Lance squirmed under Lotor’s far-too-intense gaze; Allura was just glad it wasn’t directed at her. “I… I don’t know.” Lance’s voice was hoarse and cracked, and he leaned as far away as he could get, although Lotor hadn’t moved at all.

“Millennia,” Lotor said. “I spent millennia in the quintessence field, being torn apart and spliced back together again and again and again. There was no food or water there. There was nothing. And yet I could not die. I wanted to. I wanted to so badly. Being torn apart like that… You could not begin to comprehend the pain it caused unless you have experienced it yourself. 

“All the while… I held onto the thin hope that my husband, the only person who ever truly believed in me for me, not because I was useful to him, not because he thought I was ‘exotic’, not because I was a prince or this or that… I held onto the belief that he would find a way to carry out my vision of peace. I kept no secrets from him. And I held onto the hope that he would find a way to save me from the unending agony that I could not escape on my own.

“Finally… For whatever reason, the Rift spat me back out, and I knew… I knew instantly that the only person who has ever loved me, cared about me as a person, was dead. When Galra marry, we pledge our hearts to each other, and it felt then as if it had been ripped from my chest. That pain lingers. And even then, I had a sliver of hope that maybe, maybe,  _ maybe… _ The universe hadn’t fallen into ruin.

“I cannot begin to imagine his last moments. I cannot begin to imagine what he was thinking. I hope that he knew that, wherever he thought I was, I still loved him. That I still had faith in him. I hope he didn’t think that he failed me. Perhaps he attacked your planet in retaliation; he did have a temper, sometimes, though I rarely saw that side of him. Perhaps he thought to draw you out of wherever you were, in hopes of using Voltron to retrieve me… I cannot say. He is gone, either way.

“I suppose I always knew this could happen. Perhaps I am lucky that it did not happen sooner. That I had as much time with him as I did. I just… I thought, for all the good I tried to do, I might be allowed one good, pure thing. Just one…

“Instead, I return to find my husband dead, the universe in ruins, and you, here, acting as if you are innocent solely by the virtue of possessing the most powerful superweapon in the universe.”

“The universe...that’s not our fault,” Allura whispered.

“Isn’t it?” Lotor asked. “In my recent travels, I have compiled a rough estimate of casualties attributable to Voltron, or Voltron’s three-year absence, alone. Seven Balmera were damaged beyond their ability to regenerate; the Balmerans also perished. Fifty percent of the Olkari population was killed by a rogue general. Piracy stopped important shipments of medical supplies and food to many impoverished planets. Fifteen planets in the Voltron Coalition were wiped out entirely, including Puig, because you could not protect them from retribution. 

“A rough-yet-generous estimate puts the total death toll at fifty billion. My husband would have had to wipe your planet out five times over to cause as much death and destruction as you did, directly, by preventing me from returning to my rightful place on the throne. When all I asked for was peace.” He shook his head. “You were not willing to end the war when I was your prisoner, and you are not ready to end it now.”

He stood and began stalking out.

“Lotor, please!” Allura said. She reached out, without thinking, making to grab Lotor’s wrist, prevent him from leaving.

He caught her wrist first and held it in a firm, yet painless, grip. “Do not touch me again,” he said, those terrible, soul-searing eyes boring into hers. 

She shrank back.

“Stay out of my way,” Lotor said. “You’ve done enough.” He left without another word. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof... Lotor delivering that verbal smack down? Some good shit. Very cathartic.  
> In other news, I’m (probably) going to be taking a break from posting for a while, as I’m going to be out of town, and I’m not sure how much time I’ll have to write. Regular updates will resume on the 21st :)


	34. Peace Talks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m still in Florida visiting my sister, and I haven’t seen s8 yet, but I thought y’all could use some cheering up

Lotor allowed Kolivan into the rooms he’d been permitted to use while he was on Earth.

“The rest of the Coalition still wants peace,” Kolivan said without preamble. Lotor liked that; the man did not bother with unnecessary conversation.

“But?” Lotor asked. They’d sent Kolivan to speak for them, because he was Galra. He wouldn’t make the missteps others would.

“But they want some assurances. They don’t want to be forced into the Empire. They want their sovereignty. And they want to be protected.”

“If they want their sovereignty, then it’s not my responsibility to provide security. They must fail or succeed at their own-“

“Protection against Voltron,” Kolivan clarified.

“Do they really think Voltron will attack the Coalition if they side with me?” 

“Anything is possible,” Kolivan said. “Voltron was said to be the only weapon that could stop your father, and yet you killed him.”

“I was only in that situation because of Voltron in the first place,” Lotor said. 

“They believe that you could stop Voltron.”

“I want to,” Lotor admitted. “That much power in the hands of -of anyone, really, is far too dangerous. The right intentions can lead to the most horrendous disasters. In the hands of  _ children _ like these…” He shook his head. “So I want to. I will settle for Voltron remaining here on Earth, away from the Coalition forces. As for the rest, I will agree to it.” 

Kolivan nodded, but made no move to leave. “Sire, if I may… Why Sendak?”

Lotor sighed. “I could lie and tell you that it was love at first sight. The truth is… I don’t remember meeting him the first time. We were both young, and I was…” He shook his head again. “My father often sent trusted officers to check up on me during my exile, to make sure I wasn’t planning anything. One of those officers was Sendak. Even in those days, I was not well-respected. But he was different. He treated me like a person. Not a half-breed. Not a prince. Not a pawn. A real person. And I guess… That was enough, for it to start.”

“The Paladins wouldn’t understand that,” Kolivan said. 

“I know,” Lotor replied. 

“There is a lot they don’t understand,” Kolivan said. “Thank you for your time, Sire.”

“Of course.” 

Kolivan left as quickly and quietly as he’d come, leaving Lotor alone. 

It was for the best, probably. At least, Lotor preferred it that way. He didn’t have to pretend that he was alright. He didn’t have to be stoically mournful. 

Maybe the formal mourning period was over, but… He’d been married to Sendak for eight thousand years, and loved him for even longer. It was hard to move on from that in just a month. 

But he couldn’t just turn his back on everything. He had to carry on, and grieve quietly. No matter how lonely he felt, no matter how his heart ached every time he thought about Sendak and how he would never hold him again, or be held by him, or… 

He muffled his sobs in his hands, as he always had. He’d never been free to express any genuine emotion (except with Sendak), and it was no different now. 

The universe had undergone a dramatic paradigm shift, and yet nothing had changed. 

He didn’t know why he’d expected it to. He didn’t even know why he bothered trying. But it was all he could do. All he knew how to do. 

* * *

“Ryner,” Allura began, unsure how to phrase the question. “Lotor presented us with some...disturbing information, and I wanted to ask if, maybe, he was...mistaken, or- or wrong, or-“

“Or lying,” Pidge said flatly. 

“Or lying,” Allura said with a sigh. “Do you have some sort of casualty count, for the three years were we in the Rift?” 

Ryner sighed. “Yes. We do. It’s not complete, but… What number did Lotor give you?”

“Fifty billion,” Allura said. An unimaginable number. Altea had once been home to ten billion people -roughly the population of Earth, before Sendak’s invasion, but it was difficult to visualize that five times over.

Ryner frowned. “That’s… much lower than any of our estimates.” 

“Lower?” Keith asked. “Not higher?”

“Our lowest estimate puts the total loss of life somewhere around one hundred and fifty billion. I cannot account for the discrepancy, unless he was only counting the deaths directly attributable to Voltron’s absence.”

“So you were counting the deaths indirectly attributable, as well,” Pidge said. “Like… what, exactly?”

Ryner sighed again. “It’s complicated. There is an average rate at which people die, based on a number of factors, including population growth, disease epidemics, wars, and so on. We used this metric to estimate the number of deaths caused, in some way, by Voltron’s absence and the lack of a Galra Emperor, by subtracting the number of projected deaths from the number of actual deaths. It is only an estimate, as some planets never had accurate population counts. Arus, for example…”

“Arus?” Keith asked. “What happened to Arus?”

“A tragedy. One of many. We tried to help, but we had no resources, no way to reach Arus in time, without the Teleduv technology. Only Voltron could have saved them, but…”

Ryner wouldn’t say what she was really thinking, and Allura was glad of it. She didn’t want to hear it. 

“Ryner… Do you think we should help Lotor? Be on his side? The Galra Empire has…”

“He is not his father,” Ryner said finally. “I know it is not the outcome you had hoped for, but it may be for the best, to end the war while there are still people left to enjoy peace.”


	35. Facsimile

The Altean screamed as soon as she caught sight of Honerva. 

As weak as she was, she tried to scramble backwards, away, searching frantically for a way out. 

“It’s alright,” Allura soothed, reaching out to her. “It’s alright. We want to help you.”

The Altean recovered from the mech looked at her finally. “Why are you helping her?” She whispered hoarsely. “She’s…”

“She’s not, anymore,” Allura said. “It’s alright. You’re safe here.”

The Altean shook her head. “No. No, not if she’s here. Please… Please, where’s Lotor? He’ll understand. He’ll help us. He hates her, he wouldn’t let her…”

Allura left. Honerva had left almost immediately, and Allura joined her in the hallway. “Why would she think that Lotor could help her?”

“He lied to them about me. He’s been doing that for centuries,” she said with a sigh. 

Allura sighed, too. “Still, I want to thank you for helping me. For teaching me. I’ve learned so much already…”

“It is the least I can do. I hope he can be saved, but if not… If not, you will need to know how to defeat him.”

* * *

“You know,” the Red Paladin said. “I don't know why we didn’t think of this before, but I guess… You said you told Sendak everything, right?”

Lotor studied him suspiciously. “He knew all my plans.”

“Well, I guess if we want to verify your story, we could just ask him.”

“What do you mean?” Sendak was  _ dead _ . He couldn’t answer questions anymore. Even if he could, he doubted that the paladins would believe him. 

“Ouija board,” the Red Paladin said dryly. 

Lotor blinked at him.

The Green Paladin sighed. “We have an AI representation created by copying his memories. We never actually finished with it, but…”

“You  _ tortured _ my husband!?” Lotor spat before he could stop himself. 

“What? No! Alfor uploaded his memories, too.”

“I sincerely doubt that my husband gave you permission,” Lotor said. “Copying the memories from an unwilling participant has been regarded as a method of torture for thousands of years.”

“In our defense,” the Red Paladin said, “we had no idea.”

“That’s not an excuse. This only proves your- your  _ incompetence _ . Your absolute buffoonery. Your-“

“So anyway,” the Green Paladin said. “Let’s go ask him some questions.”

The lab where the AI was located was, of course, brightly lit. Brighter than daytime, even, it seemed. Lotor was glad for even the meager protection his nictitating membranes offered. 

And...after the AI was powered up, he only had eyes for that, anyway.

It wasn’t Sendak. Obviously. This was just a computer-generated facsimile, made probably so that they could gather intel without trying to pry answers out of Sendak. All royal officers had training on how to withstand torture, and he wouldn’t have broken easily, especially not for these children.

Still… Even if the mannerisms were slightly off (they hadn’t finished the upload, after all)... it looked like Sendak. 

Lotor had to stop himself from reaching out to touch him (it); it was only a hologram, after all. His hand would go right through. There was nothing really there at all. 

Lotor wondered just how complete the upload had been. “He would have tried to resist the process,” he said to the Green Paladin. “The things I asked him to keep secret might not have copied over, especially in regard to the Colony and our marriage.”

She shrugged. “Guess we’ll find out.” She turned to the AI. “So...Commander… Did you actually marry Lotor?”

The AI didn’t say anything for a moment. It couldn’t lie, and it could barely withhold information, but Sendak had always been stubborn. 

“It’s alright,” Lotor said finally. “They know everything.” Almost everything. “They just want to confirm.”

The AI turned to him. It looked almost surprised, but there was no real emotion there, just a series of programs modeled on Sendak’s memories. “Lotor?”

Lotor nodded. “Yes, darling. Tell them what they need to know.”

“I never thought I’d see you again,” the AI said. 

“This isn’t real,” Lotor said. He had to blink back tears; he wished, so desperately, that it was real. But it wasn’t. “Just answer their questions.” 

“I married Prince Lotor on an uninhabited planet of his choosing nearly eight thousand years ago,” the AI said. “At his request, we kept it secret from everyone.”

“Why?” The Green Paladin asked.

“He was afraid of what his father might do if he found out.”

“What would Zarkon have done?”

“Had me killed to punish Lotor. He thought Lotor was soft, and he tried to harden him up by taking everyone and everything he cared about away. He probably would have made Lotor watch.”

“Well, that’s kind of messed up,” the Red Paladin said. “Daddy issues, amiright?” 

“Shut up, Lance,” the Green Paladin hissed. “Did he tell you about the Altean Colony?” 

“Yes.”

“When?”

“Shortly after Haggar found out about it. He returned to his base, where I was making an inspection, and he was upset.”

“So he had no hand in the experiments that happened?”

“None, as far as I knew. He thought they were vile.”

“And you?”

“The witch was widely feared, for good reason. She cannot be trusted.”

“She’s been dealt with,” Lotor said, mostly to the Green Paladin. 

She nodded. “Well, I guess that’s all we really need for now.”

“Could- Could I have just a minute?” Lotor asked, as she reached for the shutoff. 

She paused, then shrugged. “Yeah, I guess so. Just don’t screw with anything. Come on, Lance.” 

They left, and Lotor turned off most of the lights. It seemed incredibly wasteful; surely they didn’t need that much light to see by? 

He turned back to the AI. He had no idea what to say, really. This wasn’t his husband. Not really. But it looked like him, sounded like him, acted (more or less) like him. 

“My love, what’s wrong?” The AI asked.

Lotor burst into tears, burying his face into his hands. “You’re dead,” he whispered. “They tortured you, they killed you, and I have to… I have to carry on. I don’t want to. I want you with me. But whatever vengeance I extracted from them would be worthless. You’d still be dead. This is just a hollow copy of what you were, my darling.”

“How did I die?” The AI asked, because it would. It was exactly the sort of thing Sendak would have done.

Lotor wiped his eyes. “I don’t know, exactly.”

“Honorably?”

“Yes, of course, darling,” Lotor lied. It was pathetic to lie to the AI, it really was, but Lotor didn’t have the heart to tell even the primitive copy of his dead husband that he’d been stabbed in the back. “In battle with the Paladins of Voltron. And I did all the proper funeral rites. I built your funeral pyre on Feyiv… We were supposed to get married there, my darling, in front of the whole universe. Do you remember?”

“Of course. I remember everything you’ve ever told me.”

“I miss you so much,” Lotor said. “It’s different now, because you’re really gone, and I just… I miss you, every second of every day. The moment I found out, I… My heart just shattered. I can’t do this without you.”

“Yes, you can,” the AI said. “You can do anything you put your mind to.”

“Why do I have to do this without you? Didn’t I deserve to have something for myself? Just one good thing?”

“It was never about what you deserve, my love.” 


	36. Burned Bridges

Allura was not sure how she knew that Lotor would be on the roof of the observatory, looking up at the night sky, but that was where she found him. 

“Princess,” he said, without even turning around.

She came up to the railing, standing next to him, careful not to get too close. ”Allura,” she said. “We were...close, before.”

“You think I’m a murderer,” he said. “You think I did some truly heinous things. Things can’t go back to the way they were before.”

“You proposed marriage,” she said.

“I proposed an alliance. A way to unify the Galra and Altean Empires. And I did, without a marriage.” 

“And yet you could have had the Coalition, too, if you had taken my hand.”

He made a low sound in his throat. “Marrying under false pretenses is one of the few reasons a marriage may be annulled under Galra law. I would have been required to reveal to you my marriage first, and I doubt you would have wanted to take my hand then.”

“I could have, for the greater good.”

He shook his head. “You would not have just been marrying me, but my husband, too, and I imagine that you find that idea rather distasteful.”

“Do not presume to know my feelings on the matter.” Although he was right. Marrying more than one man was already something that wasn’t done on Altea. One of those men being Sendak only made matters more…

He shrugged. “You didn’t come find me to talk about what could have been.”

“Pidge told me about the intel from the AI.”

“I imagine she did.”

“So… You aren’t a murderer. At least, your husband didn’t think so.”

“I never lied to him.”

“I… apologize, for what happened.” That was hard to say. She still didn’t really think she’d made the wrong choice. She was sorry for what happened after, but even that wasn’t really-

He laughed harshly. “Do you think your apology means anything to me?”

“I just… You’ve already forgiven us, but I thought-“

“Forgiven you? You think I’ve forgiven you for everything you’ve done? No. I’ve simply set aside my own personal feelings for the greater good. Do not mistake my pragmatism for forgiveness, and do not ever think that I will forget what you did to me or my husband. Good night, Princess.” He turned and began stalking away.

“Lotor, wait!” she pleaded. “I didn’t mean it like that.”

“I don’t really care,” he said. “And, for the record… I already have the Coalition, too. You should have done things differently, but now it’s too late.”

“It’s never too late,” she said. 

“I told you before that this wasn’t a zero-sum game, Allura, and it didn’t have to be. But you might as well face up to defeat now. Give me Voltron, and I assure you that no outside threats will ever come to this planet again.”

“Give you Voltron?” She repeated incredulously. “Are you mad?”

“I’ve been accused of that. I am serious, though: give me Voltron, and I will give you reason to never need it again.”

“What about everyone else? What about the rest of the universe? Voltron is the defender of-“

“Because you’ve done so much for everyone else. Think about it, Allura. Logically, rationally. This is not a decision that should be made with your heart.”

“I am the heart of Voltron,” she protested. “How else can I decide what’s best for- for everyone?”

He laughed softly, to himself. “That’s the problem, isn’t it? You think you know best. You don’t. Voltron did not grant you that ability, even if you think it did. Good night, Princess.”

This time, she let him go speechlessly. 

* * *

The Coalition would never be a true ally. They weren’t eager to side with the Empire, after everything Zarkon had done.

But… They wanted peace. They needed peace. 

Voltron didn’t, but Voltron had only been fighting this war for...two, maybe three years. Not ten thousand years. Not their whole lives. 

So negotiations with the leaders of the Coalition planets were coming to a close, with favorable agreements on both sides. 

Everyone had believed that only Voltron could stop his father. Everyone had believed that only Voltron could bring peace to the universe.

But he had, and he hadn't needed Voltron to do it. 

He’d killed his father with a piece of scrap metal. He’d ended the war by setting pen to paper. 

Lotor should have felt something at that, but he didn’t. All victories were hollow victories now, but he didn’t usher in this era of peace for himself. For his own personal gratification. He did it so that the ten thousand years of war came to an end, before even more lives were lost. 

Voltron wanted to fight until the Galra Empire was no more than a memory. As if no Galra would fight against that. As if they could just demand that he dismantle the Empire, as if there would be no repercussions. As if the resulting power vacuum wouldn’t end up with billions more dead. 

But Voltron was overruled. There would be no alliance with Earth, but Earth was a small backwater. In time, it might become a force to be reckoned with, but for now… 

Earth’s orbital defenses consisted of two IGF ships (the Atlas and the Cronus), with two more in construction, and Voltron. And that was it. A fraction of a fraction of what the Empire could field, if it came to it. 

And...without war raging across the universe anymore, he could, if it became necessary, bring the full force of the Empire down upon Earth. 

They refused to give up Voltron, but he’d expected that, especially after his talk with Allura. It didn’t matter. He still had Sincline, Voltron’s true equal. And they had no idea.

He’d done everything he’d set out to accomplish (with the exception of destroying Voltron -the machine itself, not the paladins behind it) and yet.

And yet he had no sense of victory, of pride, of anything. Just emptiness. 

He’d never thought of himself as selfish. Maybe that was why he’d continued on, after…

And yet, he’d lived ten thousand years already. He might easily live another ten thousand more. Maybe he’d only die when the very last star burned out and the universe collapsed in on itself. 

Perhaps the quintessence in his veins would prevent him from dying even then.

The Empire was a fragile thing right now. It would take time for so many of the deep-seated prejudices held by so many to disappear. Ironically, it was probably only his mixed blood that kept things from falling apart now. If something happened to him…

The Empire would collapse, and things would go back to the way they were before, and it all would have been for nothing. 

And yet the prospect of spending the rest of his life alone was so bleak, so bitter, so hopeless… 

He’d never thought he’d get this far, but he’d always held onto the hope -the belief -that Sendak would be here with him. 

And now he wasn’t. 

* * *

“Kolivan, thank you for agreeing to meet with me,” Lotor said. “Please, have a seat.”

“May I ask what this is about?”

“I’ve signed pardons for every member of the Blade of Marmora,” Lotor said, “for anything they might have done up until the treaty was signed a few days ago.”

“That is very generous, Sire,” Kolivan said. 

“And… they will be honored. Every Blade who fought and died to free the universe of my father’s tyranny. I’d liked your input on how to do that. I was under the impression that you are a founding member?”

“I am,” Kolivan said with a sigh. “I’ve watched so many promising Blades die in the pursuit of this thing you have built.”

“They will be remembered,” Lotor said. “They are Galra, too, and they fought for what they believed in.”

“We didn’t need to have this conversation in person, Sire,” Kolivan said.

“There was a more personal matter I wished to discuss with you.” Lotor hesitated, wondering if he’d made the right choice. There was no one he could talk to about it now, after all. He just had to hope… “I have no siblings, my husband is dead, we had no children, and yet, for the sake of stability and peace, I must name an heir.”

Kolivan waited impassively. 

“I...need to go away for a- a week. I hope it will be just a week. But it could take longer, or I might not come back at all, and I need someone with the authority to take my place. Just in case. And you, Kolivan… Our goals have not always aligned so neatly, but I hope you will at least consider…”

“You want to name me as your heir?”

“Only with your permission. If I end up being gone longer than I intend, then you will act as Emperor Pro Tem in my place, and if I don’t come back, then… I think you are the best hope this universe has for peace. We’ve fought a very long time for this, Kolivan. I am tired of fighting; aren’t you?”

“I don’t want to be Emperor,” Kolivan protested.

Lotor smiled softly. “Then perhaps I’ve chosen correctly. Only those who don’t want power can be trusted to wield it responsibly.”

“Very well,” Kolivan said finally. “But don’t be gone too long.”

“I don’t intend to be.” But this wasn’t something he would be able to control with any certainty. “Thank you, Kolivan.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this well before S8 came out, but it feels super appropriate now (especially the scene between Lotor and Allura)


	37. For Himself

The White Lion studied him. “You have already failed my test, Rift-Child.”

“I’m not here for that,” Lotor said. “And it doesn’t matter. What does it prove if I am willing to die to gain knowledge and power? That I am willing to abandon my responsibilities?”

“Then why are you here?”

“Now that the Rift has been closed, this is where the walls separating this reality from the quintessence field are thinnest. And...there is an ancient power here, more ancient than you.”

“You require guidance?”

“No,” Lotor said with a little laugh. “All those eons in the quintessence field, experiencing thousands upon thousands of variations of my own life… In some, I even passed your test. So perhaps there is nothing you nor anyone else here could teach me. No, I do not require guidance.”

“Then you have no right to be here.”

“What will you do? Kill me? I doubt you could. Let me do what I came here to do, and I will leave in peace.”

“There is a price for what you intend.”

“So be it.” 

“If you fail, you will die.”

“If I fail, I will not want to live anymore.” All those years of putting everything else first… But now the universe was at peace, and maybe… Maybe he could have something for himself now. It wasn’t selfish to want that, after everything. 

Here, in this ancient place, the quintessence within him surged more powerfully than ever before. He had no idea if what he intended was even possible, but he had to try. Had to know for sure that he’d done everything he could. 

He closed his eyes and reached out. He knew what he was looking for, better than he knew himself, better than he knew anything else, and this power in his veins had to be good for  _ something _ ...

* * *

He wasn’t sure how long it took. Seconds or hours or centuries; it didn’t matter. 

But finally, finally,  _ finally _ ...

In a flash of brilliant light, he was back in Oriande, laying on the stairs before the temple.

He blinked up at the sky, dazed. What had he been-?

Right.  _ Right _ , of course. But had it worked?

Someone nearby gasped for breath, like being startled out of a dark dream (and what darker dream was there than death?). 

He turned, following the line of his arm, where it was outstretched, reaching for…

_ Sendak _ . 

Lotor pulled himself up and moved to Sendak’s side, helping him sit up. “Sendak, it’s alright, it’s alright, I-“

“...Lotor?”

There was the possibility that he hadn’t brought back the right Sendak ( _ his _ Sendak); Lotor knew that. As much as he wanted to go ahead and just… enjoy having his husband back, he had to know for certain. “Who confessed their love first?”

Sendak frowned. “You did. Why?”

Lotor studied him for a moment longer. He didn’t quite look the same -to start with, he had both eyes and both arms again -but he was… he acted as if…

“What did you say to me after?” Only Sendak  _ -his _ Sendak -would know that. 

“I told you that I loved you too, and then I mentioned that I hadn’t thought you’d be the first to say it, so I was surprised… Lotor, what’s going on?”

”Do you remember?” Lotor asked softly. If not, was it kinder to keep the truth from Sendak? Or did he have a right to know?

Sendak hesitated. “I… tried to… Voltron had… and I needed to- But I failed. I failed you, my love. Please forgive me, Lotor, I tried but I wasn’t strong enough. I couldn’t-“

Lotor embraced him, stroking his crest the way he liked. “There is nothing to forgive, my darling, nothing at all.”

Sendak obsessively rubbed the side of his face all over Lotor’s neck and shoulders, very much like a once-lost child, reunited with its parents. Marking Lotor as  _ his _ , in a primal, instinctive way. 

Lotor purred for him, silent tears streaming down his cheeks. He wasn’t sure why he was crying; perhaps this was just too overwhelming. He couldn’t quite believe that it was real. 

“I died,” Sendak said finally, “didn’t I?”

”Yes,” Lotor whispered. “But I- I couldn’t go on without you.”

“I tried to find a way, Lotor. I did everything I could, but I couldn’t- But you must have found your way out of the Rift somehow, anyway.” 

“I don’t remember how,” Lotor said, and he didn’t. Just the thousands of other realities he’d lived through. The forest, but not the path out. “But I did, yes.”

”I had faith that you would return, someday, somehow.”

“I know.” Lotor kissed the top of his head. “You always believed in me.”

”With good reason. If anyone could bring someone back from the dead, it would be you, my love.”

“Do you feel...different?” Lotor asked softly. “Do you feel like yourself?”

“I am myself,” Sendak said after a moment. “And I am relieved to see you. It was three years for me.”

”I know.” Lotor pressed their foreheads together. “I’m sorry. A lot happened, and I couldn’t- But it doesn’t matter anymore. I’ll explain later, I promise, but let me just… hold you for a moment.” 

Sendak pulled him a little closer, as close as they could physically get.

“I wasn’t sure if it would work,” Lotor said finally. “You were dead, and I- there was a funeral, and I mourned for you, and… And then I realized that I might live another ten thousand years, if not more, and that if I did it alone, I’d probably lose myself. I’d...become my father, and I couldn’t… I didn’t know if it would work, but I had to try.”

”It worked,” Sendak murmured. “I’m here. I’m not going to leave you again. I swear it, Lotor.”

“I’m going to hold you to that,” Lotor said. 


	38. Reunion

It took time for Lotor to explain everything that had happened in Sendak’s absence, but as always, he listened intently, nodding every now and then, occasionally interjecting with a question. 

“It looks like I was right to believe in you,” Sendak said finally, when Lotor was done. 

Lotor flushed. Despite everything… it was still the way it used to be, when they were together, but maybe a little bit better, because this time… This time, there was no need to hide it. “Will you,” he began, stopping to lick his lips because he was suddenly so nervous, “will you become my Consort, officially?”

”Of course.” He cupped Lotor’s face in his hands, guiding him in for a soft, sweet kiss. “You did promise me a proper wedding, after all.”

Lotor smiled, genuinely, for the first time in what felt like forever. “I did.”

They were already onboard Lotor’s ship, already on a course to rejoin the fleet- it would take just over a day (he could have just wormholed there, but he wanted his husband to himself for a little while first)-and they were alone and together once again, and… 

Sendak beat him to it. “Lotor, please tell me that you’ll still let me ravish you.”

He said it teasingly, but there was an edge to it, as if he wasn’t  _ quite _ sure Lotor would still want him. 

“Nothing’s changed between us,” Lotor said. “Not for me. I love you.”

Some of the tension left Sendak’s shoulders, in relief, but then he grinned rakishly; he looked so much younger like that -more like the Lieutenant he’d been once, so very long ago. “I hope that’s a yes.”

“It is.” He tugged on Sendak’s ear. “You didn’t used to be this forward.”

“I need you to make me feel alive,” Sendak whispered, suddenly serious. “I need to know that this is real.”

“I understand,” Lotor said. He felt the same way. He kissed Sendak again, pouring everything he felt for Sendak into it; there were things he could never express in words, but he wanted to think that Sendak understood anyway. 

* * *

It was only when he was completely undressed and sprawled out across the bed did Sendak take the time to actively study him. 

“The Rift changed you,” Sendak said.

“You have both your arms back,” Lotor pointed out. “And both eyes.” 

“Mm.” Sendak’s thumb trailed over the red mark on Lotor’s cheek; Lotor trembled with the effort of staying still and letting Sendak take whatever he wanted. “You’re beautiful.”

Lotor flushed, and Sendak could definitely feel it, based on the way his soft smile grew into a full-fledged grin. 

“I cannot believe that His Majesty, the Emperor, gets so flustered by a little praise,” he murmured, teasing. 

“I am not  _ flustered _ ,” Lotor protested.

Sendak huffed a laugh and kissed him. “You are,” he said, “but only for me, right?”

Lotor nodded, turning his head to kiss Sendak’s palm. “I missed this. I missed you, I missed how good you are to me, how good you make me feel, all of it.”

”I’m not going anywhere.”

Lotor smiled. “Good. Now… You said something about ravishing me?”

“Mm, I did, didn’t I?” Sendak bit at that place under Lotor’s jaw that always sent shivers down his spine. He sat back, between Lotor’s splayed legs, studying for a moment, a furrow developing between his brows.

”What?” Lotor asked. He wasn’t usually self-conscious, exactly, but he did want Sendak to still find him attractive; he always had before.

“I think I’m going to miss your scars,” Sendak said. “It’s strange seeing you without them.”

“Oh. Is that all?” 

“I still think you’re beautiful, if that’s what you’re worried about.” He lifted Lotor’s right leg and kissed the inside of his knee. “Does your knee still bother you?”

“Sometimes,” Lotor admitted, “but it’s more up here, than anything else.” He tapped the side of his forehead.

“Well, I guess we’ll just have to get you out of your head for a little while, won’t we?” Sendak said, lowering Lotor’s knee and reaching for the lube. “Are you still as flexible as you used to be?”

“Of course.”

“Good,” which was all the warning Lotor got before Sendak pushed his knees up to his chest, bending him completely in half.

_ Oh _ ; he’d half-forgotten how easy it was for Sendak to manhandle him like that. 

And then Sendak was pressing in, stealing Lotor’s breath even further. He’d missed this, too: the fullness, the stretch, the incredible pleasure. 

“ _ Fuck _ ,” Sendak murmured, just as affected by this as Lotor. “You’re perfect.”

Lotor hooked one leg over Sendak’s shoulder and let the other fall to wrap around his waist. It was incredible; it felt like Sendak reached so much deeper like this.

Sendak fucked him rough and hard, perfectly, murmuring all the little endearments Lotor had missed so much, and Lotor could not have fantasized a better scenario if he tried.

He came before Sendak, but Sendak wasn’t far behind. 

“Somehow,” Sendak said finally, “you got even lovelier. I didn’t think that was possible.” He traced the marks on Lotor’s cheeks again, then leaned in place little kisses over them.

Relaxed and sated and happy, Lotor couldn’t stop himself from purring. “You are a romantic fool,” he said fondly.

“I’m glad I already staked my claim on you,” Sendak said, nipping Lotor’s ear. “Otherwise, I’d have to compete with a whole mob of suitors.”

“None of them could compare to you,” Lotor said as Sendak started trailing more kisses down Lotor’s neck and chest, and Lotor laughed. “And you always say  _ I’m _ the insatiable one.”

“I was so worried for you. No one knew- You just... _ disappeared _ , and I didn’t know what to do. I knew you wouldn’t willingly abandon your responsibilities, but…”

“You did what you needed to do,” Lotor murmured, stroking his ears. “And… I have to admit, I am looking forward to seeing the Paladins’ faces when they see that you aren’t dead anymore.”

“I am so proud of you,” Sendak said, looking up at Lotor earnestly. “I am. You’ve accomplished so much, become the Emperor I always knew you could be.”

“It was your faith that-“

Sendak shook his head. “You did it all on your own. You should be proud of yourself.” He pressed a kiss to the ridge of Lotor’s hip. “As I am.” Then he looked up at Lotor again, smirking, catching Lotor’s eye. 

Then he licked a stripe up the underside of Lotor’s cock. It was a little too soon, considering where Lotor was in his cycle, but honestly… It felt like such a long time since that night Sendak had snuck into Central Command, almost like it was another lifetime entirely. And he wanted. 

When Lotor was hard again, Sendak pushed his legs apart and pulled his hips up a little; Lotor shivered in anticipation.

His spine arched at the first touch of Sendak’s tongue to his rim, and some embarrassing noise left his throat. He just couldn’t bring himself to care right now, what with Sendak so thoroughly cleaning up his mess and simultaneously bringing Lotor closer and close to the edge. 

Sendak knew what he was doing, and it wasn’t long before he came again, all over his chest and stomach. Lotor collapsed back into the mattress, feeling better than he had in...centuries, maybe.

Sendak couldn’t bring himself to stop touching Lotor, and Lotor really didn’t mind, even when he lapped up the cum off Lotor’s belly. 

“You still taste as good as you always did,” Sendak murmured.

Lotor tugged on his ear. “Filthy.”

“Don’t you want a taste?” Sendak teased.

“I know where your mouth has been,” Lotor said. 

Sendak nuzzled his stomach for a little bit longer, then sighed and got up to brush his teeth.

Lotor welcomed him back with a kiss. “I’m never going to let anyone take you away from me ever again, my darling. You are  _ mine _ .” 

Sendak purred, deep and rumbling, pulling Lotor close. “I feel the same way, my love. My Emperor.” 

Lotor made a pleased noise at that and nestled into Sendak’s arms. 


	39. More Than Enough

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy holidays, y’all! Have some fluff :)

Sendak did not remember anything after his death, so for him, it only felt like three years since Lotor had been stranded in the Rift. 

Three years of that uncertainty was enough. More than enough. 

But now, Lotor was back in his arms, right where he belonged, sleeping peacefully.

He’d told Sendak, before drifting off, that he didn’t really need to sleep anymore, and hadn’t since emerging from the Rift, at which point Sendak had kissed his cheek and told him to sleep. 

Sendak had slept, too, better than he had during those three years, knowing that Lotor was safe and sound. 

In a few hours, when they rejoined the fleet, he’d have to share Lotor with the rest of the Empire. For now, he simply tried to get his fill.

Things would be different now, though. He’d get to wake up just about every morning with Lotor next to him, and at the end of the day, they’d get to fall into bed together, and they wouldn’t have to pretend anymore…

Lotor stirred, rousing slowly, already starting to purr, rubbing his cheek against Sendak’s shoulder.

Sendak kissed the top of his head. “Good morning, my love.”

Lotor’s purr grew louder, and he beamed. “Good morning, darling.” 

“It’s good to have you back,” Sendak murmured. “I’m glad you’re alright.”

“I could say the same about you,” Lotor said. “I forbid you from dying again.”

“As my Emperor commands,” Sendak said drily. 

“I’m serious,” Lotor said, tugging his ear. 

“Of course.” He kissed the tip of Lotor’s nose. “You are very cute first thing in the morning.” 

Lotor huffed. “I am not cute.” 

“You are.” He moved so that he was hovering over Lotor, pinning him to the mattress, and kissed the marks on his cheeks, lightly enough that Lotor laughed and squirmed.

”That tickles, you monster!” 

“I love you,” Sendak said fondly, placing one final kiss on Lotor’s cheek. 

“I love you too,” Lotor said, stroking Sendak’s cheek, before pulling him down for a proper kiss. 

* * *

“Where are we meeting the fleet, anyway?” Sendak asked finally, later.

“Feyiv,” Lotor said, grinning mischievously. “So I can make you mine before the entire universe.”

“I’ve been yours for a very long time now,” Sendak pointed out.

“And I want the whole universe to know that. Besides, there’s nothing like a royal wedding.”

“Did you actually tell anyone this was a wedding?”

“I wasn’t even sure if I could bring you back, darling. I wasn’t going to announce a marriage before I knew that much.”

“You always did love your dramatics.”

“Mm.” 

“You didn’t invite Voltron, did you?”

Lotor laughed so hard he wheezed. “No, of course not! Gods, after all they’ve done, did you really think I would-?” He broke off into more laughter.

It was nice to see Lotor so infectiously happy. 

He finally calmed down. “Besides, I don’t think they’d want to come anyway.”

Sendak shrugged. “I don’t care about what they want.” 

“Neither do I, anymore,” Lotor said with a sigh. “I suppose something will have to be done about it, eventually.”

“Eventually,” Sendak agreed. “For now, you are mine, and I am yours, and that’s enough.”

”More than enough.” Lotor made a sound almost like a purr, but shorter and originating in his throat rather than his chest. Still, it signified contentment better than words alone ever could. “I forgot how nice it was to wake up next to you. I didn’t sleep after the Rift, because I didn’t need to and there was too much to do, and also… Also because I knew that if I fell asleep, I’d dream about you, and then when I woke up, I’d remember… And it would be like losing you all over again. And once was enough. Too much.”

“I’m never leaving again,” Sendak said, nuzzling the top of Lotor’s head.

“I forbid it.” Lotor made that sound again. “You are  _ mine _ . I swore that I would show no mercy to any who tried to keep us apart, and that includes Death.” 

“Of course it does.”

* * *

Dense fog enveloped all of Feyiv, wreathing the Kral Zera in clouds of mist.

Representatives from all the fleets and planets that knelt before Lotor were there already, waiting. Sendak didn’t know what excuse Lotor had used to gather them all here; perhaps he hadn’t used one. He was their Emperor, and they were duty-bound to come when he called. 

Lotor piloted his small personal craft down to the surface expertly -of the two of them, he was the better pilot, and he enjoyed piloting more than Sendak ever would - before powering the engines down. “Ready?”

“As long as you are by my side, I’m ready for anything.”

Lotor smiled softly, then adjusted his cape. “Then let’s do this.”


	40. This Just In: World’s Most Powerful Weapon In Hands Of Literally The Dumbest People Ever

“Guys,” Pidge said. “We might have a problem.”

“What kind of problem?” Keith asked warily.

”So...you know how you killed Sendak?” Pidge asked rhetorically. “I guess he got better.” She typed a few things, and a video appeared on the big screen. 

It was unmistakably Feyiv, repaired since the Blade’s attempt at sabotaging the Kral Zera. 

A small ship in Imperial colors sat near the base of the stairs, and from it, Lotor and Sendak emerged.

”Holy shit,” Lance whispered. “That guy just will not die.”

“Look,” Keith said crossly. “I’m no expert, but I’m pretty sure that if cutting him in half with my sword didn’t kill him, being cremated would.”

“Lotor grows more powerful,” Allura said softly.  “With every passing day.”

Onscreen, Lotor and Sendak faced each other under the fire of the Kral Zera, and Lotor began speaking. No one in the room were actually paying attention, too dismayed by this turn of events.

“Not to freak anyone out, or anything,” Hunk said. “But isn’t Sendak like...super vengeful? And now that he’s not dead, he might… I don’t know… try to get his revenge?”

“ _ I vow to fight by your side, die by your side, so long as I have strength in my arms and in my heart. I will serve you, my husband and Emperor, above all others, from this day forward until the stars burn out, in your name and in the name of the Galra Empire _ .” 

Onscreen, Sendak knelt before Lotor.

“Ah,” Coran said, twisting his mustache. “Lotor’s making him his consort. Never seen one of these done in person, but-“

“Wasn’t Honerva, you know, married to Zarkon?” Lance asked. “Isn’t that the same thing?”

“Not at all, my boy! A consort has almost as much power as the Emperor, as well as a number of duties and obligations. Honerva chose not to accept them, so she could spend more time on her research, as I understood it.” 

“ _ Do you vow to serve as my right hand, my equal in all things, accepting the duties and responsibilities of my husband and consort, from this day forward until the stars burn out? _ ” Lotor asked onscreen. 

“ _ I do _ ,” Sendak said, and Lotor placed a circlet on his head. He took Lotor’s hands, and Lotor pulled him up, before throwing his arms around Sendak’s neck and kissing him soundly.

“I didn’t need to see that,” Lance said. 

Pidge closed the video file, cutting off the sound of the crowd’s cheering. “Does anyone think this is suspicious? I mean… Sendak dies, Lotor shows up, and suddenly everyone’s on his side? Almost as if he knew that he could use the situation to his advantage.”

“That’s what he does,” Keith said. 

“What, you think he somehow arranged for Sendak to die for political capital?” Lance asked.

Pidge shrugged. “I’m just saying. At best, he callously used Sendak’s death to gain brownie points in the Empire. At worst… I mean, the Galra Empire clearly has cloning technology. The Sendak that attacked Earth might not have been the original.”

“Or Lotor does somehow have the power to bring people back from the dead,” Allura said. “We left him in the Rift. Who knows what the extent of his powers are now?”

“I can think of one person who might,” Keith said. 

* * *

“My son is married?” Honerva asked coldly. Her voice was always cold, though, and held no indication of her mood. “To Commander Sendak?”

”Has been for some time, apparently,” Lance said. “But they just...re-married? Renewed their vows? Not sure, exactly.”

“Commander Sendak is dead,” she replied. 

“He was,” Allura agreed. “Actually that is why we’re here. We wanted to know… would it be possible to bring someone back to life? Without a body?”

That seemed to confound Honerva. “Perhaps,” she said finally. “But the toll it would take… the quintessence…”  She looked at them sharply. “And you’re saying that my son did this?”

“We think so. But we can’t...surveil him all the time,” Keith said, arms crossed. 

She sniffed. “Your surveillance capabilities are amateur at best, with or without the Blade of Marmora. Regardless, he is growing more and more powerful…”

”We know,” Allura said. “We need your help to stop him. You said you would help us.”

“And I will,” she said. “It will not be an easy thing, turning against my own son. But as his power grows…”

“The universe will not survive another Zarkon,” Allura said. 

Honerva nodded. “So we will have to act, and soon, before he becomes too powerful for us to stop.” 


	41. These Dorks Are In Love And There’s Nothing You Can Do About It

There was a rush of power that come with proclaiming to the universe that Sendak was his, that Sendak had accepted Lotor and all he had to offer. That Sendak was his first (and so far only) love. 

Lotor could see the shock on everyone’s faces when Sendak appeared before the crowd, when Lotor took his hands in his and pledged himself over to him. After all, it was less than a year ago that Lotor had lit his funeral pyre, in this very spot. 

And now…

Now, with the marriage vows over, Sendak knelt, to Lotor alone, and spoke the vows that made him Lotor’s official consort, his right hand, his true equal. The person that would stand next to Lotor through everything and help him run their empire. 

Affection of any sort was rarely displayed in public, and yet Lotor could not help pulling Sendak into a kiss when he stood; he wanted -needed -to show everyone the depth of his commitment. 

The ceremony was being broadcast all over the galaxy, and he needed them all to know that not even death could separate them for long. 

They did not stay long at the feast afterwards. They could barely keep their hands off each other, and anyway, it was tradition for newlyweds to “sneak” away during the feast. Of course everyone knew what they were going to do, but Lotor didn’t really care. 

They barely made it into their quarters aboard the flagship when Sendak pushed him against the door, his hands under Lotor’s thighs and hoisting him up, kissing him all the while. 

“I love you,” Sendak breathed. “Fuck, I love you so much.”

”I love you too, my darling Prince.”

Sendak huffed a laugh. “That’s ridiculous.”

“You are a prince now, officially.”

”And it’s ridiculous. I can’t go by a title I don’t feel that I earned.”

“You earned your way into my bed and into my heart. How many can say that?” 

Sendak nuzzled the side of his neck. “Fair enough.” 

“I can make you a general, if it makes you feel better.” He affectionately  tugged one of Sendak’s ears. “But enough about that. How are you going to fuck me?”

“You could fuck me,” Sendak said, “My Emperor.”

”Mm, not with how you’ve pinned me against the door.”

Sendak nipped his ear, then began carrying Lotor back towards the bedroom. “Would you prefer the bed?”

“That would be easier,” Lotor said, “but I’m going to ride you in the bath later.”

“Deal.” Sendak set Lotor down on the bed -it was ridiculously big, even for the two of them -and began to strip. 

They hadn’t worn armor today, just ceremonial clothes made of fine silk in the traditional red and gold, and the cloth fell nearly soundlessly to the floor now.

Sendak looked very handsome in it, but Lotor thought he was most attractive completely bare for his viewing pleasure. “I don’t think I tell you this enough, but you are incredibly handsome,” he said. 

Sendak grinned. “Oh?”

“Mm. So big and strong. Classically handsome. You could have chosen anyone, and yet you chose me.”

“Because I love you, Lotor.”

”I love you, too. I’m so thankful we found each other when we did, when we were ready.”

Sendak leaned down to kiss Lotor. “You don’t think fate would have pulled us together, one way or another?”

“We make our own fates, darling. We are here because our choices led us here, not because there is some cosmic grand design. If we made other choices, then perhaps we’d be somewhere else entirely. But I am glad to be here, with you, now.”

“As I am.” Then his fond smile transformed into something more mischievous. “How would my emperor like me today?” 

“Lie back,” Lotor whispered, stroking Sendak’s cheek before standing and undressing. “Let me take it all in, so I can know that this is real.”

He felt Sendak’s eyes on him, drinking it all in. In other realities… It would have been different. But they were here, now, in this reality, and Sendak genuinely loved him for who he was, and maybe… Maybe this was no longer a tragedy. 

“Turn over,” Lotor said. It was rare enough for Lotor to fuck Sendak, and even rarer for them to do it like this, but Sendak merely quirked an eyebrow before obeying with the grace of a warrior.

 Lotor draped himself over Sendak’s back, nipping the back and sides of his neck, his hands running all over Sendak’s torso, feeling the pure strength contained within his body. Once, maybe, it had scared him a little, but now all that power was at his command. And even if it wasn’t… Sendak would never hurt him. 

He urged Sendak up onto his knees with a few gentle touches, before slicking himself up and pushing in. 

Lotor went slowly -it had been a while since they had done it like this last -finally bottoming out, bracing himself with one hand pressed into the mattress and the other arm wrapped around Sendak’s chest. 

He enjoyed this intimate connection. He’d never been closer to someone physically, spiritually, emotionally. He’d been right, so long ago, when he’d said that Sendak was it for him. He couldn’t imagine this kind of connection with anyone else, after everything…

“I’m ready,” Sendak said, pushing back a little. 

Lotor kissed his shoulder and began to move, making sure to drag the pleasure out for Sendak. He wanted to make a mess of Sendak, have him be sated and relaxed and pleasured. Perhaps it was the least he could do for Sendak, but…

It was good for him, too, of course, the physical pleasure combining with the power trip of having Sendak underneath him, submitting so well for this. 

“You’re doing so well for me,” Lotor cooed. “Bowing before your emperor.”

Sendak huffed a strangled laugh. “Thank you, Sire.”

“Perhaps you deserve a reward of some kind,” Lotor teased, trailing his hand down Sendak’s chest and stomach to his cock. 

Sendak groaned, his knees almost giving out.

A few more strokes, a few more thrusts, and they were both coming. Sendak’s knees actually did give out, and Lotor could no longer hold both of them up, so he collapsed on Sendak’s back.

Lotor nuzzled his shoulders and neck, not wanting this moment to end, liking this soft, gentle peace. 

Sendak laughed after a few minutes, presumably when he caught his breath. “You are ridiculous.”

“How dare you speak to your emperor like that,” Lotor said, nipping Sendak’s ear playfully. 

“It doesn’t matter to me that you are the emperor. I’d love you even if you were a pauper or a pirate or whatever else,” Sendak said seriously. “I’d follow you wherever you led us.”

Lotor smiled, half-fondly, half-sadly. “In another reality… But someone must lead the Galra, and I have accepted that duty, that responsibility. If things had worked out differently, then… But they didn’t. At least I have you by my side.”

“Always,” Sendak said. He turned over to kiss Lotor. “Always.”             


	42. Sincline

Lotor stood before the holoscreen, his back straight with the regal bearing he’d been taught since childhood, facing the assembled commanders of all the fleets who bowed to him.

“The war is over,” he said. “That does not mean this peace will last.” Voltron would almost certainly not be happy about this; they clearly hadn’t thought much past ending the reign of his father, and in their eyes, he was no better than Zarkon. “I am not so short sighted as to believe that no foreign entity will ever try to wrest what we have gained away from us. Therefore, General Sendak will command the fleets in my name.”

A political as well as personal move. Sendak would never be completely happy just being Lotor’s consort, and the remaining commanders would be more comfortable following Sendak’s orders in the heat of battle. There was no one Lotor trusted more to do this, and it freed him up for other things. 

“Vrepit sa!” 

* * *

Sendak woke, a little disgruntled that the other side of the bed was still empty. Lotor had been called away in the middle of the night, and only after Sendak had demanded his due (paid in kisses) had he let Lotor go. 

It was morning now, and he’d kind of assumed Lotor would be back.

Then again, he didn’t actually need to sleep anymore, and perhaps he hadn’t wanted to wake Sendak up again by returning. 

He got up and prepared for the day. It took far less time than it usually did, mostly because Lotor could be very handsy in the morning. Not that Sendak didn’t like it; it was just inefficient. 

They hadn’t spent much time part since Lotor had brought him back, so perhaps that was why Sendak hadn’t noticed it before, but now there was a sort of...awareness, in the back of his mind.

It wasn’t much. A heartbeat, the sensation of breathing, the sense of... _ being _ .

Sensations that didn’t belong to him. 

He was almost certain that they belonged to Lotor. He could speculate that it had something to do with the way Lotor had brought him back. 

He could admit that it was comforting to know that Lotor was alright, even when he couldn’t verify that in person. The slow-burning panic he’d felt during those three years when no one knew where Lotor was or if he was alright was still vivid in his mind, and he never wanted to feel that way again. 

And now, perhaps, he never would. 

Whether Lotor had done this on purpose -whether he even knew about it -or not was up for debate, but there was an easy way to find out. 

The awareness pulled him in the direction of the ventral hangars. They happened to be closest to the ship’s laboratories, and Sendak imagined that Lotor was working on one of his engineering projects, or something similar. 

He’d watched Lotor clamber over hulls and into engine assemblies more than once, and it was one of the few times Lotor actually let himself have fun. 

Indeed, when he entered the hanger, Lotor was underneath a large, sinuous ship, muttering to himself, working on...something. Sendak wasn’t an engineer. 

He glanced up, though, and smiled. “Hello, darling. You’re up early.”

“Not really,” Sendak said, grinning. Lotor did tend to lose track of time when he got really into something.

His eyes glowed, perhaps because of the dim lights, or because of his excitement. Either way, it was adorable. 

Lotor glanced at the timepiece on the wall. “Oh. I did mean to be back before you got up.” 

“It’s alright,” Sendak reassured. “I wanted to ask you something.” He explained about the awareness as best he could, and Lotor came over to stand in front of him, nodding thoughtfully.

“Yes, I-“ He looked chagrined. “I can feel it, too. Perhaps I should have expected something like that. I’m still not really sure how I brought you back, actually, but… Well. Does it bother you?”

“Quite the opposite, actually.”

Lotor hummed, thoughtful and pleased. “I suppose… It might get stronger, with time. Or it might fade entirely. But we are connected, and… And our bond can no longer be denied.”

Sendak kissed Lotor. “So. What are you working on?”

“Oh, that’s right,” Lotor said. “You never really saw the completed Sincline ships. I was working on one when you visited Central Command, but you distracted me.”

“Don’t expect an apology for that,” Sendak said drily. “I’m not sorry.”

Lotor laughed. “Right. Well. I’m trying to...figure them out, I suppose.” He gestured to a containment tube that was set up in one corner of the hangar. It glowed a soft yellow, nearly matching Lotor’s eyes. “There are three Sincline ships. Right now, the other two are in a...pocket dimension, between our reality and the Quintessence field. They act as a sort of bridge and filter, bringing in quintessence to be refined while preventing any Rift entities from crossing over accidentally. 

“There was ore left over from the construction of the ships, and that containment tube is built, partially, from that ore. It’s all...entangled, still connected, even if they are in separate pieces. So I can draw quintessence through the ships, to the tube, and out for refinement.”

”Which solves the energy crisis,” Sendak concluded.

Lotor nodded. “Without destabilizing...anything, really, which was where my mother went wrong.”

“Genius,” Sendak said. He could feel the way Lotor’s heart tripped over that, and he grinned smugly. 

Lotor ignored that. “Of course, I still don’t understand what, exactly, the composition of the ore is. I’ve already broken three spectrometers trying to figure it out. I can only assume that it is some element forged in the field between realities. But… Sincline is different from Voltron. Voltron isn’t...adaptive. It’s rigid, blocky. Restrained, perhaps, by the mind of it’s creator. Perhaps not. I only managed to uncover fragments of Alfor’s writings…” He sighed wistfully. “My mother’s writings didn’t focus on Voltron at all, so there’s nothing there. If I had the opportunity to study Voltron… But I don’t. 

“I suspect that there were impurities in the ore that created Voltron. Like...different alloys of steel. Voltron is closer to pig iron, and Sincline is the finest blade steel, to use a metaphor.”

“I think you’re just saying that because you like Sincline better,” Sendak teased.

“They saved me,” Lotor said softly, staring almost fondly at the ship. “Without them… I wouldn’t have lasted five seconds in the Rift. But there is so much we don’t know about the ore… I can only speculate about most of it, and run my experiments.” He smiled, wryly. “Would you like the tour?”

Sendak, who very much enjoyed seeing Lotor like this, nodded. “Of course.”

Lotor led him up to the cockpit. “I originally designed Sincline for six pilots,” he said. 

“Six? Four generals plus you is five, my love.”

Lotor smiled again. “Plus you is six. Zethrid and Ezor as support, Narti as my left hand, Axca as my right, and you at my back.” His smile grew sadder. “Sincline has since amended their design. They only require a single pilot, but two would be better, as long as they are of a single mind and purpose. The strain can be… overwhelming.”

“I can’t imagine it,” Sendak admitted.

“I never wanted to fight,” Lotor said. “But we had to defend ourselves. We were so in-sync that the idea of fighting back had just occurred to me by the time we were on the offensive.”  

“Sincline is… sentient?”

“Semi-sentient, certainly. Not truly... _ aware _ , the way we are. It’s difficult to explain.” He sighed. “But… I did the best I could, I think, with what I had.”

“My love, I don’t think anyone alive could have done what you did, even with all the resources in the universe at their disposal. And you had...practically  _ nothing _ , when you started this project. Just whatever you had scraped together. This is… I am in  _ awe _ of what you have accomplished.”

Sendak was no pilot -he could fly, if he needed to, but He Would Rather Not -and most of his expertise was in strategy and tactics, but he could see that what Lotor had created was... _ magnificent _ . 

Lotor’s ears turned down immediately, completely flustered, as he tried to point out various features within the cockpit, stammering through explanations that Sendak could not understand but that he very much enjoyed listening to. 

“I’d show you,” he said, finally, when he’d gotten over his bashfulness, “but I want to keep Sincline a secret, for now. I imagine that Voltron thinks they were lost in the Rift, and I want the element of surprise on my side if and when we face them again.”

“A sound strategy,” Sendak agreed. That’s what he would have done. “Thank you for showing me. They’re...beautiful.”

He’d only seen the outside of any of the Lions, and only really seen the Red Lion up close, but to compare Voltron to Sincline would be… disingenuous. As Lotor had said, Voltron had been made with the interdimensional ore equivalent of pig iron, and it showed. Sincline was a well-made, well-honed blade, good quality steel shaped by a mastercraftsman. 

He told Lotor as much, and Lotor made a small sound in the back of his throat. “If I didn’t know better,” he said, not looking at Sendak, “I’d think you were purposefully trying to fluster me.”

“I would never,” Sendak said with mock-offense. “I just think you deserve recognition for all your hard work.” 

Lotor shook his head fondly and turned away. “Do you want to go for a ride? That’s your seat, over there.”

“I’d rather be your seat,” Sendak said, almost before he could stop himself, but honestly, dying had completely fucked up his cycle. It was like being an adolescent all over again.

Lotor turned around. “You know,” he drawled, “people are going to talk.”

“Do you care?”

“Not really.” He came closer and threw his arms around Sendak’s neck, pulling him down for a kiss. “This is what I get for not being there when you woke up, isn’t it?”

”I missed you.”

Lotor laughed. “You are ridiculous,” he said fondly. 

“You love it.”

“I do.” He kissed Sendak again, like he could never quite get enough.

It was always the same when they were together. This was the constant in both their lives: that they would always come back to each other (somehow, despite all odds) and that they would love each other just as much as before. There was no resentment for the time they had to spend apart, no jealousy, no anger, only the enjoyment of the moment and the wistful hope for the future.

That future was  _ now _ . There was nothing keeping them apart anymore. No Zarkon, no war, no witch… And it was everything Sendak had ever dared hope for and more. 

“This is your chair?” Sendak asked, tapping the back of the other chair in the cockpit. 

Lotor nodded, biting his lip, as if maybe he knew what Sendak was planning. 

Sendak sat in the chair, spreading his legs and gesturing for Lotor to take a seat. “Come here.” 

Lotor didn’t need any encouragement; he climbed into Sendak’s lap straightaway. His suit couldn’t quite contain his excitement, but neither could Sendak’s. 

“Such a beautiful ship,” Sendak murmured, deliberately brushing his hand over the bulge in Lotor’s suit. “For such a beautiful pilot.”

Lotor swallowed, hard. “Don’t be such a tease.”

Sendak laughed lowly. “That’s rich, coming from you.” Still, he found the catches in the crotch of Lotor’s suit and freed his cock, giving it a few barely-there strokes. 

Lotor glared, without heat. 

“Be patient,” Sendak said, bending down to bite at that spot on Lotor’s neck that always made him moan. “I want to savor this.”

“You’d think by now that our sex would be a little more perfunctory,” Lotor snapped.

“Where’s the fun in that?” 

Lotor tugged on his ear -an adorable habit of his; most children grew out of it, but apparently Lotor never had, not that Sendak minded in the slightest -and scowled. “You’re lucky I like you so much.”

“I am,” Sendak agreed. “Incredibly lucky.” He coaxed Lotor into turning around in his lap, so that his back was to Sendak’s chest. Like this, Sendak could so easily nip at his ear or bite his throat or murmur all of the soft praises Lotor liked so much directly into his ear. 

Lotor purposefully ground down a little against Sendak’s cock. Probably trying to rile Sendak up; it wouldn’t work. Still, he had Lotor move forward enough that he could free his own cock. 

“Do you have-?” He started to ask, but Lotor pressed a small tube into his hand. “Filthy,” Sendak admonished. “Is that what you wanted all along?”

“I like to be prepared,” Lotor said cheekily. 

Sendak nipped his ear and slicked up his cock, before pulling Lotor back with his free hand. 

Lotor pushed himself up, using the armrests of the chair. “This is not what I originally intended to use this chair for,” he commented.

“Would you prefer to stop?” Sendak asked, already knowing Lotor’s answer.

“No,” he huffed.

“Mm.” Sendak positioned the tip of his cock against Lotor’s entrance, guiding him into sinking down so smoothly, so blissfully. 

By the time he bottomed out, Lotor was in a much better mood, biting his lip and making those tiny sounds of pleasure he could never quite restrain, however much he wanted to. “Such a good seat you make, darling,” he cooed. “Though I fear it might be distracting.”

“Nonsense,” Sendak teased. “I’ve never seen anyone fly like you do.”

Lotor’s ear heated up, but he raised himself up enough to sink back down, a signal that he was ready for more. “I don’t think I can fly at all like this.” 

Not the best idea, certainly, and Sendak wasn’t going to suggest that they try it. Still, the imagery was… 

He put one hand on Lotor’s waist and guided the rolling motions of his hips. Lotor didn’t have a lot of leverage, but that was alright; he’d just have to take what Sendak gave him.

He ran his other hand across Lotor’s chest, over his stomach, down his thigh, delighting in how much more he could feel now, even with the thin membrane of Lotor’s suit in the way. His prosthetics had always been top-of-the-line (perks of being Zarkon’s favorite), but they’d never quite matched the sensitivity of his flesh hand. But it had been a weapon, and weapons didn’t need to feel. 

He pressed his nose against the column of Lotor’s throat, inhaling his scent, rich and vibrant and singularly  _ Lotor _ in some indefinable way. He also smelled like engine grease and machine oil, but Sendak didn’t particularly care. “You’re incredible,” he murmured. “I think anyone else would have given up long ago. It was an impossible task, but you kept going. And you managed to remain  _ yourself _ , through it all. And now you’ve accomplished everything you set out to do.”

“Nearly everything,” Lotor said softly. “Have I made you proud, darling?” 

“Yes,” Sendak breathed. “I am so  _ incredibly _ proud of you.” 

Lotor twisted his upper body just enough to be able to kiss Sendak, a messy kiss with teeth and tongue, bracing himself with one hand on the armrest and the other arm hooked around the back of Sendak’s neck.

He was close when Sendak reached between his thighs to his cock, and it only took a few strokes before Lotor was coming, his body arching and writhing with the pleasure of it. 

He was beautiful like that, raw and unfettered and unabashed. Truly himself, with no pretense or anxiety or anything else.

A few more thrusts up into Lotor’s unresisting body had Sendak coming, too, and that made Lotor hum and sigh, pleased and sated. 

He embraced Lotor, nuzzling the side of his face and throat, purring softly, and Lotor relaxed further, eventually starting to purr himself. It felt like victory.


	43. Loyalty, Prejudice, and Maternal Discretion

Lotor let himself enjoy the afterglow, the quiet of his mind, the peace of the moment. There was nothing quite like it. 

“Why do I put up with you?” He asked softly, fondly. 

Sendak moved his hips sharply. His cock, now mostly soft, was still buried within Lotor; the ridges prevented it from slipping out until they were ready.

“Ah,” Lotor gasped, oversensitive. “That’s right.” 

Sendak nipped his ear. “I know you just keep me around for my cock,” he growled playfully.

“You have such a nice one,” Lotor replied. “And you use it so well.” 

Sendak kissed Lotor on the cheek. “Seriously, though, this ship is beautiful. You did a wonderful job on it.”

Lotor could never get enough of Sendak’s praise. “Thank you,” he said, trying not to be self-conscious. 

Sincline hummed around them, and Lotor wondered if Sendak could, somehow, feel it. On some level. Sincline liked Sendak, perhaps for the simple reason that Sendak was so good to Lotor. 

Lotor could also feel the beat of Sendak’s heart, the awareness Sendak had mentioned earlier. It was...nice. Comforting. 

“We’ll go flying some time,” Lotor said softly. “Wherever you want. Just the two of us, and Sincline.”

“I look forward to it,” Sendak said. He hugged Lotor closer for a moment, then reached out with one hand, placing his palm squarely on the console. “Thank you,” he said, a little louder, “for taking care of him for me.”

Sincline’s hum grew louder, as if saying  _ of course _ . 

* * *

The flagship traveled to Olkarion to finalize the treaties with various Coalition factions. Not Earth, not Voltron, but the majority of the rest. Those who had been fighting for generations and were tired of war. As he was.

That did not mean that Voltron wasn’t there. They were; Lotor had known they would be. Just as he knew that they must have seen footage of the wedding by now, how he’d taken Sendak’s hands in his and pledged his sword, his fortune, his heart to him, mirroring that original wedding from so, so long ago.

But Olkarion was a neutral planet now, and for Voltron to do anything to disrupt the peace would be ill-mannered, to say the least. 

What he didn’t expect was an all-too-familiar face, the face of his nightmares, his fondest childhood fancies, the face that had tormented him by being so close and yet so-

“I banished her,” he hissed to Sendak. “I banished her. How- why-?”

Sendak glanced over at the witch. “That’s not…”

“It is,” Lotor insisted. “She can change her appearance, but she is still the same woman.” 

The treaties had been signed, so they could leave, but…

“I have to kill her,” Lotor whispered. He could feel the blood drain from his face at the realization. “I swore that I would kill her if she left the rock I banished her to. And here she is. She knew. I made sure she knew. So why is she-?”

“Maybe she wants reconciliation. Maybe she thinks that if she is significantly remorseful, you will forgive her.”

“Do you think I should?” 

Sendak was quiet a moment. “No. No, not after all the things she has done, to you, to everyone else.”

“She’s my mother.”

“Then she should have acted like one,” Sendak huffed. “You owe her nothing more than you owe anyone else: a fair and honorable trial, followed by a swift and just punishment.”

“I can’t-“ Lotor began.

“Lotor,” the witch said, coming up to him. “My son.”

Lotor tried not to tremble. Speaking to her before her trial was one thing, but now… Now that he’d have to- 

“Do not speak to the emperor like that,” Sendak said coldly. 

“Like what? Like my son?” She replied. She never looked at Sendak, only pinned Lotor in place with her gaze. “Let me speak to him alone.”

“No,” Sendak said sharply. “Whatever you have to say to him, you can say in my presence.”

“He stays,” Lotor said, finally regaining his voice. 

She looked displeased by that, but she nodded. “Congratulations on your marriage, my son. Although,” she said, glancing at Sendak, then back at Lotor, “you could have done better.”

“Who would you have had me marry, then?” Lotor asked. “Someone who abused me the way you did? The way my father did?” 

“Princess Allura is-“

“Of course,” Lotor bit out. “Of course it was Voltron that led to you being here today. Did you forget what would happen if you left the site of your banishment?”

“No,” she said, oddly serene. “But you won’t do it. You’re too weak to execute your own mother.” 

She was right. That was the worst part: she was  _ right _ . He hadn’t even wanted to kill his father, despite everything; some sliver of hope that Zarkon might possibly still feel some fragment of love for him had persisted, until the very end. As long as Zarkon had been alive, there was still a chance that-

“You have committed some of the most heinous acts known to history,” Sendak said. “You were aware of the conditions of your sentence, and you have broken them. The Emperor’s personal feelings on the matter have no bearing on the outcome.” He gestured for the guards in Lotor’s retinue to come forward and arrest her.

She didn’t resist; she laughed, instead. “Will you let him speak for you, Lotor?”

“Yes,” Lotor replied automatically. “He is my husband and my most trusted advisor.” He addressed the guards: “Take her to the brig on the flagship.”

“Vrepit sa,” they said in unison, before leading her away. 

“Emperor Lotor. Commander Sendak.” Apparently the commotion had drawn Allura’s attention.

“General Sendak,” Lotor corrected. “Princess Allura.”

Sendak’s mood soured even further at this interruption, not that Lotor could blame him. He was just as unhappy, though he doubted she either noticed or cared. 

“Congratulations on your marriage,” Allura said.

Lotor could tell she didn’t really mean it, but he was beyond caring what Allura thought.

“Thank you,” Lotor said. 

“Why have you taken it upon yourself to arrest Honerva?” She asked, finally getting down to the meat of the matter.

“She is a dangerous criminal, who has tried to escape her just punishment,” Lotor said. 

“She explained herself to my satisfaction,” Allura said coldly.

“A privilege you did not grant to Emperor Lotor,” Sendak said, just as icily. “Does your distrust of Galra run so deeply?”

“I do not have to explain myself to you,” Allura said, drawing herself up. Not that it made much difference; if Lotor was dwarfed by Sendak, Allura certainly was. 

Sendak remained unfazed. He’d been dealing with Zarkon for thousands of years, and in comparison…

“Perhaps we should phrase it another way,” Lotor said. “Does your favoritism of Alteans blind you to the truth of what that witch is? It was only after I revealed to you that I was half-Altean that you began to trust me, and only one unconfirmed accusation for that trust to shatter. It doesn’t matter what I do; you’ve already made up your mind that I am nothing more than Zarkon’s son.”

“What did you want me to do, then?” 

“Let me explain myself,” Lotor said. “That was it. Instead…Instead you did the thing that would have disappointed Alfor the most, I think.”

“Don’t talk about my father.”

Lotor laughed lowly. “Well, that’s hardly fair, is it.”

Allura grimaced, but she got back to the main point of this conversation. “What will you do with her?” 

“Her sentence was banishment under penalty of death. Therefore, by removing her from the site of her banishment, she must be executed,” Sendak said, almost as if explaining to a child. Allura certainly acted like one most of the time. “She was informed of this condition before the start of her sentence, and unless she was removed against her will, then we have no other recourse.” 

“You can’t-! How much alchemical knowledge will be lost because-“

The potential loss of knowledge grieved some part of Lotor, too. But. There was nothing they would learn from her that wasn’t tainted and twisted. And...there was more to this than just the quest for knowledge. “You would allow her to escape punishment for all the crimes she has committed, all the atrocities that words cannot adequately describe, simply out of your own thirst for knowledge? What of justice for all the lives she destroyed?”

“Would it not be just to- to give her a second chance? Forgive her? She’s your mother, Lotor. She wants to help you.”

“So now she wants to be my mother,” Lotor said. “When it’s useful to her. Stop meddling in affairs about which you know nothing.” He turned and left without another word, Sendak following in his wake. 

When they were well away from Allura, Sendak said, “I will do it, Lotor. I will take care of it.”

“It is my duty to-“

“I have the authority to act in your place,” Sendak countered. “You shouldn’t have to execute your own mother.”

“Why not!” Lotor said incredulously. “I had to kill my own father.” 

“I would have done that for you, too,” Sendak said. 

“I have to do this,” Lotor said quietly, miserably. “I just- I don’t think I can. I can’t bear to- to even face her again.”

“Then don’t. Find somewhere else to be, and I’ll take care of it. You don’t have to be there.”

“She’ll want to see me.”

Sendak shrugged. “Why should you be a good son to her when she was never even a mediocre mother to you?”

Lotor sighed and nodded. “Very well. I will leave this matter in your care. Just let me know when it is done.”

Sendak kissed the top of Lotor’s head. “Of course.”

A few moments passed, and Lotor forcibly put the matter out of his mind. He’d undoubtedly have nightmares of it later, but for now, he didn’t have to dwell on it. 

“You must be getting old, to be so wise,” he teased instead. 

“Dying gives you a new perspective,” Sendak said drily. Then, softer: “Things will get better, Lotor. I promise.”

Lotor smiled, just a little. “Thank you.” 

* * *

Sendak, as he’d promised, took care of the matter quietly and efficiently.

He’d even showered before coming to tell Lotor that it was done. 

“It’s over,” he said. “She will never hurt you again.”

“Did she ask for me?” Lotor whispered. He didn’t  _ want _ to know, but some part of him  _ needed _ to know. The part of him that had always hoped she might be the mother he needed  _ someday _ . 

It took Sendak a long moment to answer. “Yes,” he said finally. “But, Lotor…”

“Tell me,” Lotor pleaded when Sendak hesitated. “Even if it hurts me, I need to know.  _ Please _ .” 

Sendak sighed and nodded. “She demanded to see you. Said that no son would do such a thing to his mother. That it would have been better if- if you had never been born. She didn’t- She never loved you, Lotor.”

“I know,” Lotor said. “I know. Thank you for telling me. But it is truly over now. The last vestiges of my father’s reign are fading away, and we can all move forward.”

“Only those who are willing,” Sendak said.


	44. The Unwilling

“This is beyond the pale!” Allura said. “How can he just-?”

“They convicted her in a court of law,” Shiro pointed out. “We don’t have to agree with it, but it’s out of our hands.”

“She wasn’t herself when she did all those things!” 

“It wasn’t for us to decide!” And then Shiro lowered his voice. “Look. You don’t have to like it, but we can’t just interfere in the Empire’s internal affairs. And...maybe it’s better this way. I know she was...teaching you, Allura, but… I- She-“

“I am sorry for what happened to you, Shiro,” she said. “But I just… Maybe she deserved forgiveness. A second chance.”

“Some crimes can never be forgiven.” He paused. “Would you have forgiven Zarkon?”

“Well, no, but-“

“What Honerva -or Haggar, or whoever -did was arguably worse. I can’t blame him,” Shiro said with a sigh. “And it’s not our business. Let it go, Allura.”

“I don’t know why we’re discussing this,” she said abruptly. “You are not the Black Paladin anymore.”

“Neither are you,” Shiro pointed out coldly. He hated fighting with Allura, especially over Honerva/Haggar, but. She couldn’t just stick her nose into everything. 

“Then I will discuss this with Keith,” she said, just as coldly. 

“Fine.” 

Allura left, stalking away haughtily. God, had she always been like that? If he didn’t know better, he’d say she was gunning for another fight, but surely… Surely that couldn’t be right. 

What happened to the diplomat she liked to paint herself as?

* * *

“Ok, yeah, but exactly can we do?” Keith asked. “I mean, sure, we have Voltron, but that’s not going to be... _ enough _ .”

“No one’s seen Sincline since Lotor returned,” Allura said. “And… Pidge and I were working on something, with Honerva, before…”

“You…?” Keith breathed. “You know what she did to Shiro, right?”

“That was Haggar,  _ not _ Honerva,” Allura countered. 

“Kind of a shame about it, considering,” Pidge added. “She was a genius. Still, she gave us a lot of her research, and the coordinates for the secondary facility.”

“You- you want to check it out,” Keith said flatly. 

“Well, yeah. Plus, it’ll give us evidence against Lotor. Not that Romelle’s word wasn’t, you know, enough. Just… Some people want proof. So.”

“I’ve been there,” Keith said. “There’s not a whole lot there.”

“Does anyone think that this could be a trap? No? Just me?” Hunk asked.

“Well,” Lance said. “We won’t know until we get there.”

Allura sighed. “Honerva said that she used the facility to create weapons to use against Lotor, as a last resort. I don’t want to, but I think- This may be the only way.”

Keith grimaced, but finally he nodded. 

* * *

Lotor recognized the sound of the crop immediately, for all that it had come from the far side of the bridge. A sound embedded in some of his earliest memories, it would have been hard to forget.

He steeled himself before turning around. “Dayak. An unexpected pleasure.”

“You didn’t invite me to your wedding,” she said, her arms crossed. Lotor suddenly felt like a young child again, caught sneaking around Central Command after his bedtime. 

“I would have, certainly,” Lotor said, “if I knew where you were.”

“Still,” she said, glancing past him to where Sendak was discussing something with one of the Lieutenants. “You have done well for yourself.”

“Thank you, Dayak,” Lotor said, flushing a little. Dayak’s praise was hard to earn, and always had been. 

“And, of course, I am proud of you for the progress you have made. I never doubted you, Lotor,” she said, softer, in one of her rare fond moods. 

Maybe she’d never doubted him, but she certainly hadn’t been as vocal in her support as he’d needed, sometimes. But that was in the past, now. 

“Although,” she continued, “I didn’t think General Sendak was quite your type.”

“I’m not having this conversation with you,” he said. 

She sniffed. “I’ve seen and heard it all, young man. Still, I have heard that he is an honorable and well-bred man, for all that he was your father’s right hand.”

“He’s a good man,” Lotor agreed. “And, well… It’s complicated. But he is good to me, and good for the Empire.” 

It was then that Sendak came over, and Lotor introduced him to Dayak. “This is Dayak,” he said, “my governess.”

“One of several,” she said. “But I was the only one who could manage him.” 

Lotor shot her a disgruntled look.

“It’s an honor to meet the woman who raised my husband to be such a great man,” Sendak said, inclining his head respectfully. 

Lotor had the vague sense that he didn’t really mean it; he’d have to ask, later. 

“The potential was always within him,” Dayak replied. Then she smiled. “So, when can we expect imperial heirs?”

“We...haven’t made plans yet,” Lotor said, as evenly as possible. “When the time is right.”

“There is no better time to raise a child than during peace,” Dayak said with a sniff. “Still, when the children need a governess, I will make myself available.” She left, presumably back to wherever she’d been for the last four years.

“She’s the one who taught you through the palen-bol?” Sendak asked.

“They all beat me, if that’s what you’re asking,” Lotor replied, a little absently. “But yes, that was her.”

“If we have children, we’re not letting her near them,” Sendak said, quietly, seriously.

“No,” Lotor agreed. “I...understood why she did it, and I’ve since forgiven her- I probably wouldn’t have survived without her -but I- if we ever have children, I wouldn’t want them to- I would want them to be happier and more loved than I ever was. And her style of...teaching doesn’t really fit into that.” 

“I am so sorry, for everything you went through,” Sendak said, facing Lotor fully and tilting his chin up, so that their eyes met. “I wish I could have…”

“There was nothing you could have done,” Lotor said softly. “Everyone who stood up for me…” He shook his head. “It doesn’t matter anymore. It’s over.”

”It wasn’t fair,” Sendak insisted.

“No, it wasn’t. But the best we can do now is make sure no more children go through that.” 

Sendak leaned down to kiss him -in full view of the entire bridge crew, no less -and held him, just for a moment. “You are a far better man than this universe deserves, my love.”


	45. With Heroes Like This, Who Needs Villains?

The chime jolted Sendak out of slumber immediately. It wasn’t very loud, but he’d trained himself to wake to it regardless. 

Lotor roused, too, his eyes glowing in the dark. “What is it?” He asked, his voice sleep-rough.

Sendak kissed him on the cheek, then look at the comm. “Looks like an emergency on the bridge.” 

Lotor nodded, then stood, stretched, and began putting his armor on. He always complained about how long it took Sendak to undress him, but he also appreciated being able to dress quickly and efficiently. 

“I could probably handle it by myself,” Sendak said, also dressing.

“It’s always a good idea for a leader to show that no emergency is too inconvenient to get him out of bed. Besides, I rather like watching you command.”

“Do you?” Sendak asked drily, securing the last piece of armor. “I hadn’t noticed.” 

Lotor smirked. “Are you ready, General?”

* * *

 

The bridge was in a state of ordered chaos by the time they got there.

“Sirs! We received an incomplete transmission from Commander Lahn. It seems he was under attack.”

Lotor had given Lahn a command posting, and so far, he’d seemed like a competent commander. “Under attack from who?” Sendak asked, trying to get a sense of the situation.

“We think Voltron, but we haven’t been able to confirm. We’ve tried hailing them, but we can’t establish a connection, and we’re out of range for the long-range scanners.”

“They are so eager to continue this war,” Lotor muttered. And then louder: “Prepare the fleet to make a wormhole jump.”

Lotor and Sendak never contradicted each other in public, which was why the command structure remained intact, regardless of who was giving orders. 

“Be prepared for whatever’s on the other side,” Sendak added. 

Lotor closed his eyes, and a large wormhole opened out in the space beyond the ship. He made it seem effortless, though Sendak doubted that it was. 

“We cannot let this stand,” Lotor said softly, as the other ships of the fleet began entering the wormhole. “Voltron cannot be allowed to continue doing whatever they wish, consequences-be-damned.” And then he smiled. “You have the bridge, General.”

“Where are you going?”

“Keep Voltron away from the populated areas,” Lotor said. “Sincline isn’t a surgical instrument.” 

Sendak caught his wrist and pulled him in for a quick kiss. “Be careful out there.”

“It’s not me you should worry about,” Lotor said, his eyes glowing once again. Perhaps from the way he was surely summoning Sincline at that very moment. Sendak could feel...something, in the awareness they shared. Ancient, deep power. “Good luck, General.” 

He slipped away, breaking into a steady jog that would get him to the closest hanger in a matter of moments; Sendak turned back to the bridge. “Once we’re through, try to contact Commander Lahn again. Begin charging the weapons, and brace for imminent attack.”

The ship was rocked by impacts against the particle barrier as soon as they were through.

A quick glance told him that it wasn’t Voltron who had fired the shots, though they were there, also fighting, swathes of destruction in their path.

A few rebel craft -easily identified by the motley assortment that made up their formations -fought as well. Far fewer than Sendak had thought they could field, but it was possible that the rest were being held in reserve. 

The shots had been fired by new mechs that Sendak had never seen before. They vaguely resembled Sincline - some of the same sinuous lines -and were roughly the same size. 

Aside from Voltron, the two new mechs were likely to be the most dangerous, the most destructive. “Direct your fire on the mechs,” he ordered the weapons’ crew. “Keep them away from the base.”

Lotor’s heart was racing -probably from excitement; he loved flying -and, a moment later, Sincline appeared onscreen, diving towards Voltron like an avenging angel.

“Scramble the fighters,” Sendak said. “Have them engage the rebel craft.” There was no reason to worry about Lotor; he wouldn’t let those  _ children _ best him twice. 

* * *

“Stand down!” Lotor shouted into the comms. Voltron still had not figured out that other people could listen to their radio chatter, and it wasn’t difficult to get a connection. “You don’t have to do this.”

“Yes, we do!” Allura shouted. “You are a monster, and we will never stop until you have been brought to justice!”

If that was the way it was going to be… 

He could feel a vague sense of excitement coming over the bond he had with Sendak. But then, Sendak liked overseeing battles, watching as his commands were obeyed, as it all unfolded, leading -usually -to victory. 

But there was also anger, and a sense of righteous purpose. Of being, for once, not an antagonistic force, but rather a defending one. 

“Distract the mechs, General,” Lotor said into his comms after breaking the connection with Voltron. “Voltron is mine.” 


	46. Defenders

A well-timed strike broke Voltron apart, and the Lions rained down on the uninhabited terrain, like the meteor they had come from.

The last rebel ship was shot down, too, exploding into a ball of flame. 

This attack had been idiocy, from start to finish. Even with the new mechs, the full attack force Voltron had brought was simply not enough.

Maybe if it was only them against Lahn’s forces. 

But they hadn’t seriously thought that Lotor would just let this attack slide, had they? Even if Lotor didn’t have Sincline, he had the Imperial Fleet, down-sized from what it had been under his father, but still a significant force. 

And they hadn’t even brought the Atlas with them. 

Sincline scanned for the Lions. Voltron’s left side had taken the brunt of the attack.  _ Pilot loss _ , Sincline whispered, highlighting the Yellow and Green Lions onscreen.  _ Life signs undetected. _

So that left three. 

The other three lions had ended up further away, but together, and by the time Lotor got there, the paladins were climbing free of the wreckage.

The Lions had retained their structural integrity, but they wouldn’t be going anywhere for some time. 

Lotor climbed out of the cockpit, Sincline kneeling down so he could jump down to the ground. 

“This ends here,” he said. “I will not ask again: surrender now and you will be dealt with fairly and justly.”

All three paladins were bleeding, but they held themselves upright.

“Fuck you,” spat the Red Paladin. 

“You are outnumbered and outclassed. The fleet you brought with you on this unprovoked and downright criminal attack has been demolished. No support is coming. So, you will surrender now, or you will die.”

“There’s five of us,” the Black Paladin said, “and one of you.” 

“Three,” Lotor corrected, smiling sharply. 

Shock, despair, resolve flashed across their faces. They braced themselves, Bayards activating in their hands. 

“If you want a fight,” Lotor said, “I’ll give you a fight.” He unsheathed both of his swords; Sincline’s idea, and a good one, when facing off against three opponents. He took a step forward, towards Allura, who had not spoken yet, perhaps because she was too full and anger and hatred to speak.

The hatred in her eyes did not give Lotor pause; it wasn’t anything he hadn’t seen reflected in thousands of different eyes, across thousands of years. In the end… She was no different than all the Galra who had hated him his entire life.

“You’ll have to go through me first,” the Red Paladin growled, inserting himself between Allura and Lotor. 

His Bayard shifted, becoming an Altean broadsword rather than the rifle he usually favored.

“So be it,” Lotor said. “I hope you know how to use that, for your sake.” 

Behind him, Sincline shifted, and for a moment, he saw through Sincline’s eyes: the new mechs -the  _ Altean _ mechs, he realized, of his mother’s design -were attacking.

But that was alright. They could handle them. They were, after all, of a single mind and purpose, prepared to fight to defend what was theirs, prepared to die for this hard-won peace.

Sincline raised their swords just as Lotor did, in perfect, unbreakable harmony. 

It began with the clash of metal on metal.

* * *

It ended in blood, so thick in the air that Lotor could taste it, raw and metallic.

“It never needed to end like this,” Lotor said softly. He wiped both blades clean and sheathed them, then put Sincline back in the pocket dimension. “You were all so young, so naive… You could have learned, if you’d wanted to.”

He activated the tracking beacon in his gauntlet. He might have flown Sincline back to the flagship, but he had the Lions and the mechs to worry about now. 

And the fallen, who, at the very least, should be treated with respect. 

It didn’t take long for the shuttle to touch down, and of course Sendak was onboard. 

Lotor smiled tiredly. “Hello, darling. What condition is the base in?”

“It’s fine,” Sendak said. “Are you?”

“Well enough,” Lotor said. He sighed. “I don’t think… Even at the end, I don’t think they ever realized  _ they _ were wrong. It’s...tragic, in a way. None of this had to happen.”

“They made their choice,” Sendak said firmly. His blood was still up, after the battle, but Lotor was simply...tired. 

It was at times like these when he felt the weight of every single one of his ten thousand years. 

Lotor nodded. “We’ll arrange transfer of the bodies as soon as possible, so their families can mourn properly.”

“And the Lions?”

“I haven’t decided yet,” Lotor said. “But I do know that we will not be returning them to Earth. They’ve proven themselves...irresponsible with that sort of power.”

Sendak made an affirmative sound in the back of his throat as he escorted Lotor onto the shuttle. 

* * *

It was Captain Shirogane who accepted custody of the paladin’s bodies.

Lotor left his swords with Sendak and strode across the meeting place to greet him. “I wish we were meeting under better circumstances, Captain.” 

Shiro bowed his head. “You should know that they did this on their own. No one even knew about it until we got your message.”

“There will be no retribution,” Lotor assured. “We are tired of war, as you must be.”

Shiro smiled wryly, sadly. “I am,” he said quietly. “But I would fight until my last breath if Earth came under attack.”

“I know,” Lotor said. One of the reasons he wasn’t seeking retribution. Earth could eventually be destroyed, with or without Voltron defending it, but every single human would have to be killed during the course of the war, or it would never end. As with the destruction of Daibazaal. 

“I’m also supposed to negotiate for the return of the Lions,” Shiro said. He glanced at the pocket on Lotor’s thigh, where Lotor had stowed the Black Bayard. His secret, perhaps his birthright. 

“I know,” Lotor said. “But they were never Earth’s to begin with.”

Shiro nodded, and then sighed wistfully. “I wish the Blue Lion had chosen some other planet to hide on,” he said. “Left Earth out of it. Then…”

He looked over at the row of shrouded bodies. Tears welled up, then spilled over, tracking down Shiro’s cheeks unchecked. 

“I am sorry that it ended like this,” Lotor said. 

“They never would have stopped,” Shiro said. “They wouldn’t listen, to me or anyone else. They thought they could just- And now they’ve paid the price.” 

“They were misguided,” Lotor said, “not evil. This is a cautionary tale, Shiro, not a tragedy.” 

Shiro nodded, then sighed. “Thank you,” he said, offering his hand for Lotor to shake.

Lotor did, clasping his forearm in the style of Galra handshakes.


	47. Epilogue

The pilots of the mechs were retrieved and treated for the years of brainwashing and torture they had undergone, before being reunited with their families. 

News came of the Paladins’ funerals; it would be news for months, even within the Empire. Such important figures, cut down in their prime. 

Stopped before they could follow down the path of Zarkon, or go down an even darker path of their own. 

The mechs were destroyed, melted down and repurposed into cargo ships and medical equipment.

Trade flourished, within and without the Empire, now that the shipping lanes were free of war and piracy. 

Lotor took scrapings from the Black Bayard, just enough to run through a comparative spectrograph, and he had been right: Voltron’s ore contained far higher levels of impurities than Sincline’s. The implications of that… 

And then he set the Bayard back where it belonged, in the Black Lion’s cockpit.

She hummed in agitation. She didn’t like him or Sincline very much; Lotor didn’t care. He was still able to climb into the Lions whenever he wanted- for some reason, their particle barriers had never reactivated -and he wasn’t intending to pilot them. So they could deal with his presence.

He placed a hand on the console. “I have no reason to keep you here anymore,” Lotor said quietly. “Leave, if you want. Look for new Paladins, or hide yourselves for another ten thousand years. It doesn’t matter to me.” 

He left the hangar without a backwards glance, and when he returned days later, the Lions were gone. 

* * *

 

“I think peace agrees with you,” Lotor said, combing his fingers through the thick fur of Sendak’s crest. It was starting to get long again, which meant it would need a trim, but, well… Some standards could be relaxed now. “You seem happy.”

Lotor had been reading -Earth literature was starting to come through on the trade routes -when Sendak returned to their rooms and promptly curled up with his head in Lotor’s lap. 

Lotor hadn’t been able to stop smiling since, amused and grossly in love. 

“Of course I’m happy,” Sendak said. “I get to wake up next to you every morning, and I get to fall asleep with you in my arms every evening…” He started purring as Lotor scratched that spot behind his ear he liked so much. 

There were always things to do, of course -not everyone was quite used to the concept of “peace” yet -but they did manage to see each other in the mornings and evenings, at the very least. Which was far and away better than the way things had been before. 

It was over. It was finally over. 

It took Lotor’s breath away every time he thought about it. It was impossible to believe, and yet here he was: the universe at peace, on the throne, with his husband by his side  _ always _ , no matter what… 

This was a future he could have only dreamed of, once, but now it was his reality.

He set his book aside and focused his attention wholly on Sendak. “Thank you,” he said softly.

“Mm?” Sendak looked up at his, still purring, his eyes half-closed.

Lotor bent to kiss him. “For everything, my darling.” 


End file.
